Autistic child attacking DD

[HollandAndCooper]

Hi all,

just looking for advice re the above. DD started reception at the beginning of September. She's a confident child and had no issues starting until recently.

3 times in the last 2 weeks an autistic boy has assaulted and attacked DD.
the first occasion was pinching her on her cheek leaving a mark and bruise. She was climbing on the adventure frame in the playground when this happened. Totally unprovoked.
the second occasion, he kicked her on her shin leaving a horrible bruise.
3rd occasion (today) the child in question has hit DD on her head so hard it's left a mark.

I picked her up and she was utterly hysterical.

I am so incredibly angry. I know this child has SEN but as a lot of you will relate, when someone attacks and hurts your child it rages you like nothing else. The first occasion I was angry but as understanding as can be. Now 2 and 3 more times have happened, I'm losing my patience.

it's a very small and Intimate village school, one class per year and is only reception - y2. There is no where else for the boy to go in the school because of this.

all incidents have been noted but I've now demanded a safeguarding investigation take place as he's gunning for my DD. I've been told they're doing their best to 'keep them apart.' My daughter doesn't need to be kept apart from anybody, he needs keeping away from her.

i know who the mum is. At drop off whilst waiting for the gates to be opened this child constantly presses on the intercom, bangs and punches the notice board. The mum just stands there and doesn't say anything. I know conventional discipline won't work with all SEN children, but do I speak to the mum about this? I am so angry that my 4 year old little girl cannot have her right to a safe learning environment due to this child. I have no idea if he's attacked other children.

please don't take this as a thread to hate on SEN. I am neurodiverse myself, and DD most probably is to and is on the correct pathways.

has anyone else been through this, does anyone have any advice? In reality I'd like the boy to be expelled as we're 4 weeks into her schooling life and my daughter has been assaulted 3 times. But who am I to demand that.

im at a loss on what to do. My confident, happy little girl who has loved going to school is now getting upset at drop off and is hysterical at pick up. I'm just heartbroken for her.

I know fights and scraps are normal for young kids, but this is not in the realms of normal.

any advice will be greatly received.

thank you

However you dress it up and excuse it it’s despicable.

That’s completely incorrect.

All I wanted was my child to be able to go to school without getting battered.

No I won’t piss off thanks! Your attitude towards disabled children is disgusting! You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.
I’d love for you to walk half a mile in the shoes of some of the parents we support. You might learn a few life lessons.

The same measure taken with the NT child will NOT work with the ND child. hence they come in every day and terrorise the other kids and the teacher's hand are tied.

I’ve reported the post.

You absolutely do not know that and it’s a hugely abelist thing to say. ND is on a spectrum.

My child being attacked?

SEN has had its fair share of funding and then some. If they want to jig it about and change the set up, go ahead, but public goodwill is running out for throwing yet more billions at an issue which just seems to grow and grow with no improvement in outcomes.

Meanwhile I will do exactly what you are doing - focussing on what’s best for my children, and brazenly advocating for them.

The utter disdain some posters have shown for OP’s DD is not inspiring compassion for your own kids - you only have yourselves to blame.

You said ‘boohoo your child is being attacked’ to OP whose little DD is distraught.

How dare you.

and parents of SEND children just want them to go to school and have their needs be met. When that happens, SEND children who are prone to violence are less likely to be violent.

Unfortunately, that rarely happens straight away as it does take time. Of course SEND parents don't want their child hurting other children.

Don’t rise to it. She wouldn’t be able to walk a mile in my shoes, she wouldn’t make it out the front door. I know that for a fact.

She might be full of disdain and attitude, but I’m safe in the knowledge our kid would make her life a fucking misery and she’d be crying by the end of the week.

She won’t be ashamed of herself because these sorts never are.

or perhaps we should deal with the root of some of the revolting, discriminatory views held by some on this thread.

Yes and that can be done if the child with SEN is properly supported.
This is what I dont understand.. people offering solutions that will keep OPs child safe and stop this from happening but thats met with a 'no thats not good enough because it doesnt punish the disabled child and their mother and i want their lives to be made harder!!'

Just shows that its not actually about what is best for OPs DD at all.

You might learn a few yourself when your child is in A&E begging you not to send them to school in the morning because "Ben" will get them again.

I don't care what disability your child has, if he breaks my child's nose and hurts multiple other children, you bet your bottom dollar I will do my best to get him removed.

It’s NOT discrimination to not tolerate your child being attacked.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Again if anyone would like to answer this?

The child not being in my daughter's class to hurt her will stop it from happening. I couldn't care less after that.

Our son was attacked by a NT kid a few months back, I don’t hate all of your children. And before you try and blame him, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. The kid mimicked his stimming and kicked him for a laugh.

Stop pushing your shitty experience onto a wider group of children, who have got absolutely nothing to do with it.

Ultimately I think we need to find out why so many children are now delayed and aggressive but I appreciate that doesn’t answer your situation specifically

Children wouldn't be getting attacked in the first place if the system worked differently and those children prone to violence were able to access support, even special school if necessary from the very start of school.

Of course, this would probably cost more money so some people would be against it despite it benefiting all children.

"SEN has had its fair share of funding and then some."

You have showed that you don't understand funding.

This is my point.
So my child, age 5 with the speech/language/understanding of a 12-month-old could also have hurt children if he wasnt being properly supported and supervised.
I cant imagine the school not doing their job properly, allowing him to hurt other kids, then telling me he has lost right to education and I have to keep him at home.

Although I guess you all probably think you could un-autism him by having firm boundaries or something. I would love to see all the 'parents cause their childrens disabilities' trying to reason with a boy the size of a 5-year-old with the language and understanding of a 12-month-old. I think it would definitely be a humbling experience for them!

Maybe Ugg could explain how leaving 10 out of 30 children in a class without adequate SEND support that meets need is going to help them , the other 20 and the country as a whole.

Like I said, I do not care. Children ARE being attacked and hurt badly. Parents of children being abused in school have every right to step up and try get the child removed so it STOPS!