Autistic child attacking DD

[HollandAndCooper]

Hi all,

just looking for advice re the above. DD started reception at the beginning of September. She's a confident child and had no issues starting until recently.

3 times in the last 2 weeks an autistic boy has assaulted and attacked DD.
the first occasion was pinching her on her cheek leaving a mark and bruise. She was climbing on the adventure frame in the playground when this happened. Totally unprovoked.
the second occasion, he kicked her on her shin leaving a horrible bruise.
3rd occasion (today) the child in question has hit DD on her head so hard it's left a mark.

I picked her up and she was utterly hysterical.

I am so incredibly angry. I know this child has SEN but as a lot of you will relate, when someone attacks and hurts your child it rages you like nothing else. The first occasion I was angry but as understanding as can be. Now 2 and 3 more times have happened, I'm losing my patience.

it's a very small and Intimate village school, one class per year and is only reception - y2. There is no where else for the boy to go in the school because of this.

all incidents have been noted but I've now demanded a safeguarding investigation take place as he's gunning for my DD. I've been told they're doing their best to 'keep them apart.' My daughter doesn't need to be kept apart from anybody, he needs keeping away from her.

i know who the mum is. At drop off whilst waiting for the gates to be opened this child constantly presses on the intercom, bangs and punches the notice board. The mum just stands there and doesn't say anything. I know conventional discipline won't work with all SEN children, but do I speak to the mum about this? I am so angry that my 4 year old little girl cannot have her right to a safe learning environment due to this child. I have no idea if he's attacked other children.

please don't take this as a thread to hate on SEN. I am neurodiverse myself, and DD most probably is to and is on the correct pathways.

has anyone else been through this, does anyone have any advice? In reality I'd like the boy to be expelled as we're 4 weeks into her schooling life and my daughter has been assaulted 3 times. But who am I to demand that.

im at a loss on what to do. My confident, happy little girl who has loved going to school is now getting upset at drop off and is hysterical at pick up. I'm just heartbroken for her.

I know fights and scraps are normal for young kids, but this is not in the realms of normal.

any advice will be greatly received.

thank you

Kids with SEND aren’t far more likely to be on the receiving end of bullying and violence. It’s well documented .

what do you mean by taxis?

There is no taunting just an opposing valid view. The taunting has been from posters like yourself .

Are they allowed stay in school and keep doing it? Or are they expelled, you know if they broke a SEN child's nose for nothing.

The UK doesn’t exist to ‘meet the needs’ of SEN children whatever the cost. They have more than their fair share. That’s that

Oh they stay, explosions are very rare.

A child, even with SEND, can be removed eventually but it isn't immediately due to fact that they can't just turf a child out of school for not having their needs met.

The system is broken and it isn't the fault of SEND parents who are simply trying to fight for their child in an unfit system where 4 year olds with severe SEND who obviously aren't going to cope in mainstream school are sent there by the LA anyway due to 'lack of evidence' that they can't cope in mainstream school as they haven't experienced it yet. The system sets up these SEND children to fail and for other children to be hurt in the process.

Nobody is suggesting that children with SEN should be discriminated against.
Just that those who are violent towards peers shouldn't be maintained in a context where they can continue, regardless of whether they happen to have SEN or not.

You are talking absolute crap now. I presume you mean exclusions and not explosions. Don't be ridiculous. If a NT child was causing huge bodily harm to their classmates on the daily, they would not be allowed back in school.

No they don’t. Many have disabilities and are entitled to those disabilities being catered for. It’s not the fault of children with SEND or SEND staff that there is an inadequate system and funding.

Not at the cost of other children, no.

Trust me , after a 2 day exclusion they are.

I have a ND child who was bullied mercilessly verbally day in and day out and also physically assaulted far more seriously than the op’s child by NT children. The main culprit had a 2 day exclusion and then other measures were brought in which did help.

SEN is one of those things like the NHS where we could just keep throwing billions at it and it would never be enough and outcomes wouldn’t change. The issue is at the root, not the branch.

They still have a right to have their needs met.

I understand that but it doesn't mean the parents of the child getting hurt should just lie down and take it. The parents in my daughter's school came together to fight to get this child removed and it worked thankfully. Going by this thread, that doesn't often happen and parents have to continue to send their child in to be hurt..or remove them. It's the violence that does it for me, NO child should have to endure violence just to go to school.

If a school can't prove that they have put things in place to meet the needs of a SEND children who is violent, it would be deemed an illegal removal and the parents would then have the right to appeal.

If they have tried many things and the behaviour doesn't change then steps can be taken towards removing the child and placing them in a different provision such as special school. This can sometimes take years.

Not at any cost they don’t.

I will also point out OP’s daughter has ‘needs’, not that they even register with you.

I’m sorry but there is a culture among some SEN parents of complete disregard for the other children, sheer entitlement and a mentality that the rest of the country only exists as a cash cow for SEN.

@Uggbootsforever Regarding spending, i dont know what the answer is.

So in my situation- child age 5. Autistic. Violent. Very delayed and learning difficulties.
Special school not an option. Mainstream has to provide a lot of support to meet his needs and keep him (and everybody else) safe.

Should they be able to say 'No. Sorry. That's too expensive and, since he'd be dangerous without support, you have to keep him at home. He's not entitled to education because he will hurt people now we've decided not to supervise or support him properly.'

In that case, he stays at home with me. 24/7. I do not have the qualifications or experience to know how to educate him. As result he does not develop or progress anywhere near the level he would in a proper educational facility. Support outside of school (like speech or other therapy) is non-existent so it is entirely on me. I now have to leave my job. I now have to claim universal credit. Indefinitely.

Thankfully that didn't happen. He got a full-time 1-to-1 TA with his ehcp (according to some on here, stealing resources from other children), so has a far better education than I could ever provide at home. As a result, his progress has been absolutely brilliant, he can read, his speech and language has come on amazingly, he has some amazing strategies to manage behaviour and emotions. I have been able to continue working rather than relying on benefits.

I just dont understand how anybody could think the former option would have been better?
Is that really the better option?

Sorry that is completely wrong. The NHS and SEND can absolutely be reformed. Taking away funding is not the answer.

I don’t think SEN should get any more funding. If they want to use it differently, fine. But not more. It’s too high as it is.

The same stands in my opinion and the child that did that to your son absolutely should have been removed. I am glad the other measures did work though. Unfortunately measures don't work when dealing with ND children.

Yes that the correct quote now, not sure why you had to exaggerate it previously.

Violence and anarchy was present already and absolutely nothing was being done. Constant injuries to all the smallest kids that he picked on/went for. As I said there were so many meetings and requests for measures. He needed a 121 minimum but nursery staff just minimised/nothing they can do, he's sen and can't help it... Can't talk about another child further. Can you make sure your children have long sleeves on to protect their arms as he likes to bite/scratch. It wasn't acceptable to had to force their hand.

Not teenagers yet but the strategy worked, it went from daily acts of violence and injuries, our children all miserable going in, we were really worried about a future and having to move our child to a school well out of area not in the village out of fear this would just be the way it was going to be.

He didn't finish out the nursery and wasn't on the intake to the primary. I do hope he's somewhere that can properly care and support for his needs - it wasn't his fault

So meeting the needs of disability is a cash cow- got it!

You do realise that all the parents of SEND and disabled children want is for their children to have an equal footing and chance at an education.

I understand that too.

Though parents, even groups of them, don't get to decide if a child is removed from a school or not as they have a legal process which must be followed so I bet the child in question was on the way out anyway. I'm assuming we're not talking about a 4 year old like the OP?