Autistic child attacking DD

[HollandAndCooper]

Hi all,

just looking for advice re the above. DD started reception at the beginning of September. She's a confident child and had no issues starting until recently.

3 times in the last 2 weeks an autistic boy has assaulted and attacked DD.
the first occasion was pinching her on her cheek leaving a mark and bruise. She was climbing on the adventure frame in the playground when this happened. Totally unprovoked.
the second occasion, he kicked her on her shin leaving a horrible bruise.
3rd occasion (today) the child in question has hit DD on her head so hard it's left a mark.

I picked her up and she was utterly hysterical.

I am so incredibly angry. I know this child has SEN but as a lot of you will relate, when someone attacks and hurts your child it rages you like nothing else. The first occasion I was angry but as understanding as can be. Now 2 and 3 more times have happened, I'm losing my patience.

it's a very small and Intimate village school, one class per year and is only reception - y2. There is no where else for the boy to go in the school because of this.

all incidents have been noted but I've now demanded a safeguarding investigation take place as he's gunning for my DD. I've been told they're doing their best to 'keep them apart.' My daughter doesn't need to be kept apart from anybody, he needs keeping away from her.

i know who the mum is. At drop off whilst waiting for the gates to be opened this child constantly presses on the intercom, bangs and punches the notice board. The mum just stands there and doesn't say anything. I know conventional discipline won't work with all SEN children, but do I speak to the mum about this? I am so angry that my 4 year old little girl cannot have her right to a safe learning environment due to this child. I have no idea if he's attacked other children.

please don't take this as a thread to hate on SEN. I am neurodiverse myself, and DD most probably is to and is on the correct pathways.

has anyone else been through this, does anyone have any advice? In reality I'd like the boy to be expelled as we're 4 weeks into her schooling life and my daughter has been assaulted 3 times. But who am I to demand that.

im at a loss on what to do. My confident, happy little girl who has loved going to school is now getting upset at drop off and is hysterical at pick up. I'm just heartbroken for her.

I know fights and scraps are normal for young kids, but this is not in the realms of normal.

any advice will be greatly received.

thank you

So have the school said they are “attacks”?

Much larger boy
she should not be needing to learn physical self defence skills / or how to attack at 4 years old to fend off repeated violent attacks

That's fine to find the thread suspicious. MN have already look at it and confirmed it was done in good faith.

I know the child is autistic due to it coming from the mother.

if you have nothing useful to say, please move on instead of victim blaming a 4 year old innocent child ta love x

I am sorry you and your daughter are going through this.

I cannot believe there has been another incident- what are the school doing? The other child should have a 121 at all times (worked in schools where this has been done- it is a challenging job).

looks like you are doing the right things, make sure you put everything in writing and school are clear about how they will ensure that DD is safe and keep her off until it is all sorted.

The school have confirmed they are confirmed incidents resulting in injury, with accident forms being signed.

an urgent investigation is being undertaken.

This school sounds utterly useless and awful. How could they let this happen repeatedly? Can you move her school?

It’s all in the thread -
school confirmed he targets OP’s child
lashes out her
unprovoked
uses objects to hit out as well as his body school trying to keep him away from OP’s child but is unsuccessful

I'm sure some autistic kids are the victims of bullies, but that doesn't mean that no autistic child can be a bully. To imply that the OPs daughter is actually the bully is really low.

Autistic kids need parenting and boundaries as much as any other child. If they can't function in a mainstream school, they need to be in a special school, with small classes, and expert teachers. Other children shouldn't have to suffer from agression, even if it's labelled a meltdown or emotional disregulation.

So not attacks then.

Unconfirmed incidents are very different to attacks.

That's what I'll do if she isn't safe, for sure.

the school is tiny. It's a small village school with 24ish pupils in her class. One class per year. One teacher one TA in her class.

I've got a lot of writing, emailing and research to do this weekend. DD is off to her dads for the weekend so I can get started with all of this.

Are you alright?

my daughter has been pelted in the head with a metal water bottle, pinched on her cheek, kicked on her shin and kicked on her hip. All leaving viable marks and bruises.

of course they are attacks.

if you're here just to wind up a worried mother clearly in distress, please, for the love of god, move on.

Unprovoked attacks - it’s all the OP’s PPs !!!!!!

@AppleT1zer

the incidents are CONFIRMED the 'un' was a typo from predictive text.

A school is unlikely to use inflammatory language like "attacks"

What do you call them? Incidents? Horseplay? What? She was attacked. We will have a generation of girls whose abuse is downplayed because the men identify as ND. In fact this is already happening.

Exactly this. It's happening on this very thread! It's astounding to read to be honest

The violence apologists have clocked in early for tonight's shift.

Haven't they just!

The language is very inflammatory. They could have been squabbling, it could be a reaction to being targeted,it could have been accidental.

Unless the school has said they were deliberate attacks with the evidence to go with that you can’t actually describe them as such.

Maybe wait until the “investigation” is over and there is actually information to go on.

And do give over with your sweeping ableist accusations of ND men.

This isn't about whay I would call it. Documenting that pupils being are attacked would warrant exclusions. School will be getting to grips with the needs of the pupils who have been in school for a matter of weeks. The school have possibly not had chance to put things in place to meet this child's needs (a small, one entry school may not have encountered a pupil with such needs and staff training can't happen over night). I'm in no way belittling what has happened, they do sound like attacks and I would be making a huge nuisance of myself if I were the OP; I'm merely stating that a school isn't going to document that these are attacks in those words.

Oh for gods sake; this is not about sex and feminism . These kids are 4 - their sex is irrelevant . The school is apparently utterly useless/ incompetent.

FYI being autistic and male does not make you an abuser or any more likely to be an abuser .

Please, please read the thread before commenting.

the school have already confirmed they were UNPROVOKED.

Don’t speak to the parent, look at school complaints policy and follow it.
whilst the child is at school it’s their job to ensure children’s safety, so they are failing your child.

"We will have a generation of girls whose abuse is downplayed because the men identify as ND. In fact this is already happening."

ND Girls do this as well.