How would you split the cost of this trip?

[GetBendyWithWendy]

Surprise birthday trip for the parent of adult children.

Attending:
The other parent.
One adult child with a spouse and teen.
One single childless adult child.

If the whole holiday is a gift from 3 people, then splitting it in 3rds seems reasonable.

If it's just a shared cost holiday, no-one gifting anyone, then I'd split by room.

25%/25%/50% isn't a gift, it's just everyone paying for themselves.

Because that’s three separate family units / three household incomes.

Even if one household has two earners and is also bringing their child?

Why is this hard??

Option 1: You split 5 ways and each person pays equally (obvs the parent would hopefully pay for the teen).

Or depending on the generosity of the spouse and single adult child,

Option 2 is that you split 4 ways and spouse and adult child pay 1/2 each and family pays 1/2. TBH, I doubt it would make that much difference to the cost.

However it does depend on the number of rooms, If splitting using option 2, the teenager has to either share or take the smallest room. If splitting using option 1, I would not expect the teenager to be automatically given the small room.

If I was the family I would want option 1 and probably still put the teen in the smallest room though tbf.

25%/25%/50% isn't a gift, it's just everyone paying for themselves.

I don’t see how you work that out. Everyone paying for themselves would mean everyone paying a sixth.

Each sibling pays for his own family group. Parents' costs split evenly between the siblings.

Is the teen having their own room? If so I'd split per room - that way the organising parent and single child pay 1/4 and the family pay 2/4.

I mean to be honest if it's causing this much drama maybe it's a bad idea. People shouldn't do 'gifts' they can't easily afford.

If my brother and I were going to do this, we'd split it between us and treat our parents. As it's a gift. But it sounds like there are money concerns so maybe this isn't an achievable gift?

So between family it should really be a conversation around who can afford what as opposed to making it work on a spreadsheet.

Then split it 4 ways then

Everyone is paying for their own room.

Family unit of parents, use one room pay for one room
Family unit of couple plus teen, use 2 rooms, pay for 2 rooms.
Single uses 1 room, pays for 1 room.

No gifting involved, each family unit pays for the rooms they occupy.

In our family we just divide the total costs between the number of paying adults.

So if the total cost of the trip was £500 and 5 adults were paying it would be £100 each.

Children/teens and non-paying adults get spread between everyone. We all like each other though and I wouldn't begrudge helping a family member with a child out even if it cost me more.

Assuming the teen is having their own room and there are 4 bedrooms I would do the following…

Divide the cost of the house into each room. Family pays for two rooms. Single child pays for 1 room. The cost of the birthday parents room is divided between the family, single child and other parent. The other parent shouldn’t really be paying the same for their room as the single child, as it should be the gift of the birthday parent and they are just sharing the room.

So is the house is £1000:

Family pays £500 + £83 (1/3 of birthday room)
Single adult pays £250 + £83
Other parent pays £83 as their contribution to the gift.

If the teen is sharing with parents and there are only 3 rooms, then the cost should be equal between the siblings, unless they get a super fancy big room.

However, when we’ve been on holiday with my brother (as a couple with our kids), he has always kindly offered to pay more than his correct share as he is generous and understands how tight it is for us financially and is happy to share that burden as he likes holidays with us. So depends on sibling dynamic too!

The gift is from 3 people (assuming from other parent too), so why split between 4?

The cost of the gift should be split equally between the people gifting.

So 33/33/33, or 50/50 if just the adult children gifting.

I’d split per room

In my family this would work with either the other parent paying the whole thing or the cost being split between the two adult siblings.

And while there the adult with spouse and child should be covering food, drinks, tickets for excursions etc.

The other parent is expected to pay their share? That seems odd to me, unless he/she was organising the trip in which case they'd pay it all.

The other parent is expected to pay their share? That seems odd to me

Why?

This, wouldn't be surprised if 'child' with spouse would advocate that they get bigger room with en suite if not available with all rooms 'because there's two of them'.... but expecting a 3 way cost split including everyone else taking on the cost for their teen!

Adult children each pay their own costs plus 50% of parents’ costs.
So AC with family pays own flights and bigger hotel room, AC single pays one flight and smaller hotel room. Split costs for mum and dad flights and hotel 5050.

This looks like a nightmare, the question you're asking is probably the least of your worries.

Who is going to do the shopping/cooking? How are you going to split the bills for every coffee and cake and meal out? Local attractions, easily £30 per head?

So 4 bedrooms required.
Split the cost by room and cover the parents room, as the repetition of ‘only a surprise for one parent’ is bizarre, surely you cover the cost for both parents irrespective UNLESS they are separated/divorced, in which case I don’t see why would be going?

Adult child 1 would pay 62.5% (for 2 rooms and half the cost of parents room/holiday).
Adult child 2 would pay 37.5% (for 2 rooms and half the cost of parents room/holiday).
Parents pay nothing as to charge 1 something when they are a couple is beyond words.

Because of all the years mum and dad took you on holiday as a kid and paid for it.

I just can't imagine treating my mum to a trip for her birthday and asking dad to pay to accompany her, just as if I gave dad theatre tickets, I wouldn't expect mum to buy her own to go with him.

Whatever, if working this out is so difficult, you should find a different gift, and not consider going away together.

You do realise adults are supposed to take their children on holiday, right? And at no point during those years did I get presents on my sibling’s birthday, or vice versa.

Parent - 25%
Family -50%
Sibling -25%

Birthday parent - free