How would you split the cost of this trip?

[GetBendyWithWendy]

Surprise birthday trip for the parent of adult children.

Attending:
The other parent.
One adult child with a spouse and teen.
One single childless adult child.

Ooh, maybe teacher will give you a gold star.

Are you OK, OP? Your reaction is so disproportionate and inappropriate that it appears you're either deliberately being confrontational, or you're having some kind of mental health breakdown.

“Inappropriate” 😆😆😆

It is, and if you can't see that, then you clearly have some issues that need addressing. Or you're deliberately goading.

Whatever you're doing, you're showing yourself up very badly indeed.

You've been rude, snippy and confrontational throughout the whole thread, but your poor behaviour appears to have escalated overnight, with this bizarre unwarraranted attack on another poster.

Respectfully, if you're not interested in other people's opinions, then it's not a good idea to ask people on the Internet what they think.

I hope you seek the help/support yourself need.

For reporting bullying behaviour that is completely against the guidelines and spirit. No I just wanted it gone as it was a hughly inappropriate escalation

and thankfully it has been quickly removed

Do you still see your responses as chilled and reasonable?

You've been rude, snippy and confrontational throughout the whole thread, but your poor behaviour appears to have escalated overnight, with this bizarre unwarraranted attack on another poster.

Unwarranted? She’s attacked me all through the thread! And she has a history of unpleasant posts.

🍏🍏🍏

I think you're the only person seeing it like that, she wasn't attacking you at all. And the posts you (inappropriately) screenshotted from multiple threads were standard replies/comments, not anything showing the poster you were attacking as posting unpleasantly. Holding a different opinion to the OP is not an attack.

It is your behaviour that is unkind/inappropriate. Please step away from this thread and seek some mental health support.

It’s my thread. If you’ve got a problem, YOU step away and stop spreading your poison.

I would say for accommodation, by rooms taken. So if it's 3 bed and family of teen are sharing with them, 200 each ter room. If teen gets their own room then family pay for 2 - £300 for them and £150 for single adult and couple

Again, do you not see how this post is inappropriate?

In my family this would be split 3 ways in the scenario you describe as it's a gift between three households and therefore would be split as such.

In my reality though my siblings and I would likely split it so both parents are given the treat. The other parent would then likely contribute more to food/ drinks for the household along with the siblings that are more financially comfortable.

We don't squabble about finances though and are very supportive of one another.

Divide cost by number of rooms. Every adult pays for the number of rooms their household is using.

For me, the gift would be that I’m spending my holiday allowance and money on attending a holiday I wouldn’t have otherwise done, so my Dad would pay in full for his and Mum’s room for her birthday. I’d probably also take a token gift.

It would be okay to also redistribute 2/3 of parents room to the other two households attending - but then Dad is getting a bargain.

Yes, if it was a shared family holiday that would be how I'd split it too. But, it is a gift from Sibling 1 and Sibling 2 to a parent. IMO the cost of the gift should be shared equally by the people giving the gift.

Lol at the "my gift to you is paying my own costs for a holiday for myself"! That's an unusual take on it!

I missed the gift part. I still aay split by rooms taken. And then siblings pay equally for parents room. Or if your being miserly, maybe half of the room split between them on the basis that one parent isn't getting the gift.

If there's arguments already at this stage of who's paying for what, for God's sake don't go out for dinner 😂

I think it's obvious.

The cost of the parents' (both of them, assuming you can't take one without the other and you can't ask them to pay if the trip is a gift from the DC) trip is the gift so that cost is split between the 2 adult children. They then also pay for themselves and their family (for the one bringing their spouse and DC).

It’s 100% accurate.

@GetBendyWithWendy

I don't know why the single person - who ever they are - is so bitter about splitting, in our family we simply would not care.

I have paid more than my share, and less than my share on occasions, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter I want to spend time with my family - the costs (as long as they are affordable) are irrelevant.

When I was pregnant I didn't insist the wine was paid separately for at meals out.
My Dsis was unemployed for a while, we were all happy to share her costs so she could join us on a family trip.
My Dbro is unable to drive due to a medical condition - we don't charge him milage or space in a vehicle.
I have small children now, my family are happy to spilt the cost of a larger holiday property so we can all go together.

To me it is just all part of being family.

Its just you being unpleasant to someone trying to help you.

Trying to help?! Don’t make me laugh. She’s being deliberately and consistently goady.

Morning, all. We're just here to appeal for a bit of good old-fashioned peace and love. We've had to delete a few posts already but if the thread becomes a total bunfight, we'll have to close it.

You really don’t think repeatedly asking me the same question when I’ve said it doesn’t matter isn’t goady? Refusing to answer me when I’ve asked several times WHY she needs this information? Deliberately doing something I had already said I found patronising?

Plenty of people have done as you suggest and expressed their views politely, from several different viewpoints. Almost 14 pages’ worth of people. The ones that stand out as nasty and goady all come from you and your little friend. Vile suggestions that I have mental health problems, all under the laughably thin veneer of “trying to help”. That’s why I said you were spreading poison and I stand by it.

There is nothing kind about your suggestions. If you’re so bothered about what I’m saying on this thread, get off it. Nothing you say is of any interest to me. You’re at best acting like a po-faced schoolmarm, and at worst are dressing plain, simple bullying up as “concern”. Just go.