How would you split the cost of this trip?

[GetBendyWithWendy]

Surprise birthday trip for the parent of adult children.

Attending:
The other parent.
One adult child with a spouse and teen.
One single childless adult child.

I 100% agree with this. It feels fair and it also equates with rooms on the basis that the family will be occupying 2 rooms.

I really hope this is not another one of these couple-with-a-child-trying-to-get-subsidised scenarios!

My feeling is that the fairest split is four ways between the adults.

Three ways between “households” just seems unfair to me. It means a single person pays the same for their accommodation and a share of the birthday parent’s as their sibling is paying for three people. But including a teenager as a full adult also feels unfair, as they can’t possibly contribute as an adult. Therefore four adult shares seems the fairest solution.

It depends how petty you want to be. If 2 siblings have planned a holiday as a gift for a parent it should be 50/50 between them. Otherwise I agree with @Kindafreakingouthere If you’re looking at a cost per head, then the single person should pay a third and the other 2/3. Assuming a cost of eg £1200, that’s £200 pp so you pay for your own household and half of your parents. I wouldn’t expect the other parent to contribute

By bedroom 🤷‍♀️ for cost of lodgings.
Any other cost by person.

Kids pay for themselves and their spice and kids (if they have them)

Your household takes care of your and the birthday parent's flights.

From you saying it was a surprise.

This

The teen will likely eat just as much as the adults too - though presumably not drink? - so that'll need splitting per person too, and of course the parents are free to pay for their own teen if they wish

OP; I’m going to put it out there that this isn’t a trip you will enjoy

Yes this sounds fair

I think between a family it's a bit more about ability to pay.

If you are a not very well off single person being asked to pay half by your much wealthier, married sibling, then that is not nice. If you are a struggling SAHP with a disabled teen and your single sibling is a hotshot venture capitalist then it's not nice if they are expecting you to pay half. Whether the other parent should chip in depends on whose idea it was and everyone's relative ability to pay too. Fair doesn't always mean equal.

But on that basis, no spouse can ever surprise their spouse. Would you really be pissed off if your husband booked a birthday holiday as a treat?

I would probably expect the parent and two children to each pay a 3rd for the birthday parent and then each pay for themselves plus partner/child. The person whose birthday it is should not have to fork out for their own surprise, the single childless person should not have to pitch in for the cost of partner and child of their sibling. If each 'unit' pays their own way and a share for the birthday person, all is fair. Alternatively you may want to take into account the state of each person's finances and split the birthday person share unequally if for example one of your children earns significantly more than the other or the coupled-up child has more demands on his money i.e. partner and child, he may require a discount on his share of the birthday parents trip.

Also depends on both incomes, and whose choice the trip is. If one party earns significantly more than another then that might need to be recognised when splitting the cost.

Split equally between all adults.

who's idea was it to do this as a surprise? Was it you and your sibling as a gift, or the other parent? And how many bedrooms? Those are all crucial to work out 'fairness'.

If it was you and your siblings idea you should each pay a split based on bedrooms, and share the cost of the parents bedroom.
So if 4 bedrooms
you pay 1.5
sibling pay for 2.5

If it was your parents idea then it should be
you pay 1
sibling pays for 2
other parent pays for 1

everything else should be split per person with you and sibling potentially covering your parents.

I would be super surprised and pretty annoyed as we make financial decisions together and don't have a lot spare. But that's irrelevant.

I still think it's based on the number of rooms as if the teenager has his own room then he counts as a person. If he's sharing with his parents then he's a child.

Whoa - it's a fair point on the face of it, but that way lies "I've had a lot of expenses recently" and "Ah, but look at that expensive such-and-such you bought"

To my mind it's up to each family unit to decide for themselves if they can afford to go, and if they can then tthey should expect a fair split

not every married couple has shared finances.

But I think the point they are making is, if it is the children's idea and they are doing this as a gift for parent A, asking parent B to contribute is cheeky.

If it was parent B's idea then they should be either paying for it all or paying for themselves at least.

Who's idea was it??

This seems the reasonable 2 options.

OP - what cost split is actually being proposed?

The parents should pay for everyone.

I think with hotel rooms everyone just pays for their own room, with air BnB type homes I think just split the cost by the number of people going as you all have use over shared facilities. If, for example, three bed works out to £100pp but because there’s a child and a 4 bed is needed it ends up being £200pp I would expect the couple to fork out more. If the child is sharing a room or the cost is negligible just share it equally amongst each adult.

So the parents birthday present is a massive bill for a holiday they didn't even choose?

Each adult pays their own share and the parent of the teen pays for them. All the adults pitch in to pay the cost of the birthday surprise.

They can take it up with their spouse if they have a problem!

Happy Birthday!!