LACK OF POTTY TRAINING BEFORE STARTING SCHOOL.

[DARNLY]

I think he is just trying to make a general point that many children (not specific children with various health issues such as prematurity, of course they should have extra support and help). are turning up to school at the ages of 4/5 not potty trained at all. Parents surely must take some responsibility for this. 1 teacher, 30 plus children with what appears to be levels of up to half the classes not potty trained. This is an impossible situation for the teacher, disruptive for education and difficult to time manage and not good for the child. Along with issues of an increasing lack of discipline in some very young children, teachers are leaving in their droves, we are in crisis. They are teachers not parents and do a fine job caring for our little ones in exceptional difficult circumstances these days. I was a working midwife and mother of 3 children. It was expected among parents of reception classes to try to ensure children were potty trained Potty training surely is a parents responsibility not a teachers. I don't remember any child in any class not being potty trained or virtually there. A busy state school with 30 plus in the class.

Assuming no special needs, it’s just lazy parenting. Teachers should not be expected to deal with this, abd the children will get bullied. 🤷‍♀️

potty training is hard especially when both parents are working so they often leave it until the child is very ready (as apposed to my mum who was sitting me on the potty at 9 months)which can mean they leave it too late and child’s not ready by school starting. I think a combination of lack of time, nurseries being unable to facilitate when children are in childcare and nappies being so convenient/comfortable. There wo definitely have been more incentive when washing and bleaching nappies was involved.

I never saw small children bullying each other for this, even when there was a child in my class who used to sit and soil himself when sitting on the carpet with the others, but I agree with you otherwise.

If you choose to have a child you surely must have to expect to toilet training, teach them to eat with a knife and fork etc. Really lazy parenting, who did they think was going to do it?

Managed to work and potty train mine
i had to give up some of my free time and holiday but that’s called being a parent

We both work full time and managed to potty train at 2. We did wait until he was "ready", i.e. he could tell us he needed a wee which he could do at 2 but not at 9 months. We then took annual leave to get it done.
It seems to have become yet another stick to beat working parents with. Working parents can actively parent just fine.

When my youngest (now 12!) Started preschool they all had to e out of nappies. I'm sure for genuinemedical reasons there would have been an exception but it definitely focused everybody.

Now schools can't say that... which is obviously good for those with additional needs.. but it does seem to have made some people more likely to make excuses. And parents worked when my children were small as well.

This angst about potty training comes out every September.

I just dont see it happening local to me. There are children with sen not potty trained and there are children who have a few accidents in a new setting that settle down, but at the schools in my trust we arent seeing huge numbers of lazy parent not training thier child at all.

This must be very specific areas or schools that are seeing this.

Are you a Reception teacher? Because I have been, and every year there are NT children still in pull-ups who have to be toilet trained at school. This involves teaching the parent what we are going to do and say, giving them a script so that the child learns that big boys poo on the loo etc.

I think parents are less aware of the window which makes it easier to get nappies off without fuss etc which is about just before 2 years old but closes before they are 3. After that it's typically harder as they want to play more etc which nappies gives them the freedom to do so.

I think it also depends on how supportive your childcare setting is and their ratios. Both DSs nurseries were brilliant we did the first week of potty training but they followed up with what we were doing at home initially of trying every hour or 2.

Both DSs were fully potty trained by 2 and a half. DS1 we had 2 failed attempts at 20 months and 24 months (he was holding so risked infection) but cracked it on the third. They are 3 and 6 now so we've done it in the last 12 months.

A friend of mine taught the nursery class at our local school for around 20 years. Brilliant, caring, hard-working - everything you'd want for your 3-4 year old child. She recently left to another career, which was a major loss to the school and the profession. One of the main reasons she cited was a lack of toilet training in children of that age. She said this was just one symptom of parents seeming to no longer prepare their children for independence. 10-20 years ago, it was the norm to have one or 2 children like this, but more recently around half the class were not fully toilet trained, did not understand sharing, could not follow simple instructions, could not even put their own coat on! She loved all of her children, but it was just too much with 26 in the class and only one TA.

DD’s nursery wouldn’t even let them start until they were dry in the day, this delayed her by 6m from starting as she was dry at night before the day.

Absolutely parents have to keep trying, they can’t just leave it for schools to sort out.

Where is the parent's support? We used to have children's centres the Conservative government got rid of them now we have issues with potty training has no-one connected the dots?

Plus you now need two working parent's to survive its really hard to potty train a child over various settings i had to train ds3 over nursery (fine) being with grandad (fine) home (fine) and dad's house (not fine they shoved him in nappy to make it easier for themselves) it took MONTHS to crack properly because I was being undermined because he didn't understand due to sen we got through it but it was bloody hard work

This has been done to death agree.

DS is toilet trained, no issues at preschool but has just started and has had a few accidents in reception, as have a lot of the kids. None in nappies. Having a slight regression very normal with change.

At the school I teach in only one child in nappies and that's obvious SEN .

Nursery isn't school.

What I don't get about these threads is everyone bores on about how they trained at 18 months, lazy modern parents these days etc but we are talking about 4 year olds. Surely as long as they are trained a reasonable time before school it doesn't matter if it's at 2 or 3 + ? As long as they are fine in school.

I honestly think they shouldn’t be allowed into a mainstream primary if not potty trained - it would certainly push people to actually do it!!
Or of course, a specialist school which would likely suit their needs more all round if the reason is additional needs. (And yes there would need to be more provision for this first).

I was a Nursery Teacher for 17 years and it was definitely part of the school. We used to expect children to be toilet trained but it changed in the late 90s.

OR if they are accepted into school, there needs to be a parental contract where they promise fo come in 2-3 times a day to change nappy. If they don’t , neglect and social services intervention…. Not teachers picking up slack. Absolutely should not be teachers or schools responsibility.

You should have them potty trained before 3 latest. I had mine done before they started nursery which was 3. Took annual leave to do it.

TBH they need to bring back the rule that NT children must be out of nappies before starting reception.
But I doubt they ever will, since that would be discriminating against lazy parents who just can’t be arsed.

Well except, like the kids with untreated nits, it's really important these kids ARE in school.

I think modern disposable nappies don't help. Too easy for the parents and the kids don't feel wet.

I think this is a big factor but not the only one.

I’m amazed that people can afford the nappies.