Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

Isn't it? Good grief, I don't know how some people get through life.

Utterly ridiculous to bring children to an appointment for you. If you had left them in a waiting area what if they had walked off? Did you want the staff to babysit too?

It doesn’t matter whether your children theoretically ‘could’ have sat in reception - you were told no. Repeatedly. That wasn’t an invitation to beg or attempt to negotiate. That was an invitation to apologize and leave.

I suspect they got progressively firmer with you (‘rude’) because you weren’t taking no for answer. You were the one being rude.

OP - Aibu?
Most replies - yes actually you are
OP - continues to argue with everyone and won’t accept otherwise

yes. God forbid some of us like to have a child free relaxing atmosphere as a special and expensive treat. Don’t pull the be kind crap either. I’m sick of that being trotted out to make people feel guilty. It’s been explained perfectly politely several times why receptionists can’t watch children and quite frankly I find it bizarre that you’re happy to leave them in the care of strangers. I certainly wouldn’t have been with my four.

It will absolutely be that under 16s/18s are not permitted on the premises - which includes the reception area - by their business insurers. If they accept a couple of kids sitting in their premises while you get your nails done, they will be in breach of their policy which will be null and void if a claim situation occurs. These places are not suitable for children so there is a blanket ban which includes yours, no matter how good you think they will be.

You won't have intended to be, but you have been very unreasonable in taking them without checking and for trying to insist acceptance to the staff despite their clarifying the No Children Whatsoever policy to you. They were not unreasonable in getting shirty with you as you continued pestering them.

No one wants other people’s children during a so treatment. It’s selfish

Why bother asking if you’re being unreasonable when 95% of the vote is saying you are, yet you’re still arguing your case and won’t take it that you most certainly are being unreasonable. A nail salon/spa/etc is not a place for children. Full stop.

Do you make a habit of asking strangers to look after your children for you? Would you ask the staff in a cafe to do it while you popped into the shoe shop next door? Would you ask bank staff to do it while you went into a room to discuss your finances? Your children may be compliant angels, I am sure they are delightful, but the spa staff are not to know that, and they have other clients who have paid through the nose for treatments and who expect a calm and relaxing environment as part of the package.

You are very entitled
Stop being that parent, no one else is interested in your children!

They have probably had bad behaved kids in before so just have a no kids rule

you asked. They said no
you should have left it

people pay a lot of money to go and relax /be pampered so the staff can’t risk the odd noisey kid so say no to all

You should have called ahead and when you were told no children, you should have accepted it.

I like relaxing when I go for beauty treatments, even if it’s just my nails. I really don’t want to spend any of that time with another clients’ kids, even if they’re quiet and well behaved.

The iPad on low would have really pissed me off. You clearly let them use them without headphones when they’re out and it’s so rude.

Please understand that kids aren’t welcome everywhere and don’t assume. Make your beauty appointments when you won’t have them with you.

So you’ve got one poster to agree with you. You are deliberately missing the point. They weren’t being unkind, they were explaining then enforcing the rules.

If you had accepted that, there would have been no need for them to be so firm. You either know this, and won’t own it or you really don’t have any awareness at all.

You getting upset, and upsetting your DC is all down to you, not them. Please God try and take on board what everyone else is telling you.

OK so let's say the initial "kids not allowed" statement was shitty as you said, that's rude and of course not good customer service.

However that's where it should have ended, and this would be a thread about how rude x woman was at x beauticians.

But you were told emphatically children aren't allowed, you asked again, told no, asked if there was anywhere else, told no, and finally the owner who was listening had to get involved. If you'd taken the first statement it wouldn't have been such a drama for your kids to watch you get upset. If they seemed to be like bouncers it's because you were like someone trying to get into a club you couldn't, and kept asking.

I know it's hard without child care, I have noone to watch my child for these sorts of things til my husband finishes work but I just have to accept that some places are now not open to me.

People arent being unkind they’re just finding it difficult to find a way to get you to understand that each and every time you have taken your kids to a nail place, you have been making a nuisance of yourself, the other places and customers have just tolerated you.

You are obtuse to the point of frustrating.

You said you went after school, that means there are 6 hours in every day when you could attend an appointment without inflicting your children on the business or the other customers. Use those 6 hours from now on. If your kids want to experience a nail salon then set one up at your kitchen table and do their nails for them until they are old enough to be customers for real.

“I had no choice”

funny that, because last time I checked it’s not mandatory to have your nails done. YABU.

It sounds like they got annoyed after you wouldn't take no for an answer.

Op you seem to think “being kind” means capitulating to your and your children. It does not. Neither does turning on the waterworks and then blaming other people for ‘upsetting’ your children. That’s called being manipulative. I’d love to get your sister’s view on it all.

Oh god you’re one of those parents who thinks it’s acceptable for their kids to watch tablets without headphones. For that alone YABVU.

No need for them to be aggressive, no. Many a business owner would have been kinder in their dealings with that situation.

This is always a problem with the #BeKind lot. When they say #BeKind they mean #GiveMeWhatIWant.

It’s all well and good wanting a kind response but you kept pushing. By your own admission you said they would sit quietly, you said they’d watch iPads, you said volume low, you said volume off. I’d have been pretty annoyed to have kept telling you no. As you’ve said, you’re all adults so you should have accepted the no once! They told you no children allowed and you kept going. Maybe look at your own attitude

Imagine if everyone did this - reception would be like a kids club. And they don’t know your kids. Loads of people say their kids are good as gold etc but the reality is different.
on the rare occasion I go for a pamper the last thing I want to hear is the sound of cbbc on the iPad.

Not for the first time, first post nails it.

you made a mistake, not checking that a hotel spa would operate with the same rules as a nail bar. For what you describe, you were expecting that they would ‘let’ you r DC wait when though it wasn’t ok to have them on the premises.

I think your are being as unreasonable as a thing that is really very unreasonable and offered the big concession that you would turn the volume right down, which makes me think you usually allow them to have the volume turned up and not wear headphones.

thank goodness the Hotel stuck by their rules. They are as much for the safety of your children.

Having left your children in reception , who would you blame if they were not there when your treatment was finished.

and no, the people in the nail bar are not delighted to talk to your children, they are humouring you to keep your business.

YABU. I would always assume a spa type space is adults only, god forbid adults should be able to have a child free place. My girls would sit quietly but wouldn’t bring them somewhere like that because it’s boring for them and not every other adult on earth wants to be in the presence of children.

Also, I can’t believe you would consider leaving them in reception while you went off to have them done. It’s not a baby sitting service, maybe take annual leave next time to do it if it’s that important!