Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

But be honest, the only acceptable way they could have “been kinder” is if they had agreed to looking after your children with their loud iPads. There are no words that they could have used “kindly” which would have given you the outcome you wanted because they were not going to agree to what you wanted. There are no words they could have used “kindly” to tell you no because you didn’t want to hear “kind” words, you wanted to hear OK.

if your girls were upset, that's on you. If you had just said 'oh ok, sorry. I didn't know kids weren't allowed' & booked a time when they were at school, this wouldn't have escalated & upset your girls.

Doing nails in an open area in a hotel reception sounds unbelievable, as a guest I'd be seriously pissed off (the chemicals affect me).

your girls chatting to me wouldn't bother me (I like kids) but it would annoy most people. walk in nail bars shouldn't allow pre teens either due to the chemicals.

why can't you go when your girls are at school or book one that comes to your home?

I am going to post one last time because I’ve got the point that the majority of people think I’m wrong and I accept that.

I will go alone and apologise when I go back, I still have my voucher and want to use it.
It’s not a proper spa as I’ve mentioned multiple times now and more of a beauty salon.

I have also said multiple times I don’t let my girls sit with the iPad on loudly so people can hear it but in future I’ll tell them to turn the volume off seeing as how everyone has focused on that more then the actual issue I posted about. No one has ever said anything or even looked over when it’s been on a really low volume and I make sure we aren’t bothering anyone, I’ll try to get my daughters used to headphones at home.

I wasn’t on my knees begging or being overly insistent but I should have just accepted the first no and not asked again.

The reason I wanted my nails done so badly was because they have grown out and are very long, anyone who gets nails done regularly knows how uncomfortable that is.

I don’t let my kids harass other customers at the usual nail bar we go to, they have brief interactions where they usually compliment their nails or the colour they have chosen. If people can’t cope with a 5 minute chat with polite children then that’s their issue.
The technicians usually offer them seats next to me if there is space but they know to move if other customers walk in.

Thank god my nail lady just does one-to-one

And she doesn't like children in her salon either

Literally nobody wants to go to a spa to listen to kids playing on an iPad. Nobody wants to listen to it on a bus, a train, a plane, the shops - nowhere. It’s drives many people absolutely demented having to listen to other people’s shitty music or cartoons. But a spa, where it’s supposed to be adult and relaxing, is an absolute no.

Let's backtrack OP.

What did they say to you exactly, when you arrived with kids?

And what exactly did you say in response?

And then, what exactly did they say?

Tell us the entire conversation, word for word, as best as you can remember. And then we will let you know if you're being unreasonable for getting upset, or if they were downright rude.

You were being unreasonable and you are being unreasonable every time you take them with you to your normal place.

People aren't happy to see them and chat about designs. I know this because I've been having my nails done while someone's kid chats at me. I've been friendly with the kid because I'm not a monster and it isn't their fault that their mum is selfish.

If I have a very rare opportunity for some time to myself I'm never going to want to have to listen to someone else's kid. If you can't get a babysitter then find a mobile nail technician.

I am child free by choice and chatting to someone else’s child, polite or not, when I go and get my nails done is fairly low on my list of things I might enjoy. YABU, but you know that. Arrange childcare, book a different appointment, whatever - you have children and have to work around that, you can’t go through life expecting other people to accommodate them for you and being annoyed when they don’t.

You need to get a grip and put things in perspective. I feel sorry for your daughters witnessing their mother begging and pleading for nails.

I missed that you let your kids impose on other people too! People often go to these places for child free time. If I went to get my nails done I’d be polite but I’d be so fucking annoyed at a parent who allowed their child to chat to me - I’ve left mine at home for a reason, I don’t want to talk to yours!

‘The reason I wanted my nails done so badly was because they have grown out and are very long, anyone who gets nails done regularly knows how uncomfortable that is.’

my heart bleeds 😂😂😂 no I don’t know because I can’t afford to get them done

“If people can’t cope with a 5 minute chat with polite children then that’s their issue.”

No. It’s a parental issue. Leave other people alone.

Stop taking them to these places. Seriously. Other women want to relax and have adult conversations, please respect that.
Your nails do not trump that.

This.

No they aren’t, the fact that you would let your kids use an iPad without headphones in a public space just shows how entitled you are

remember ‘down or off’ was a compromise! Not your opening position.

their rudeness was only a result of your entitlement and your inability to take no for an answer

having your nails done isn’t mandatory. You didn’t have to use your voucher then, at a more upmarket beauticians. You didn’t have to book that appointment for when there was no childcare.

FWIW I take my toddler when I get my nails done and she has sparkly polish on her toes- but she’s a customer and this is at a cheap nail bar where there usually are screaming babies, blasting pop music and people sending voice notes.

My breastfed baby comes to the hairdressers with me- the owner is a dad and fine with babes in arms.

But I would always, always check if I went somewhere new as salons are for adults and kids aren’t always welcome!!!

a nice salon doesn’t look nice if it has iPad kids crunching in the chairs by reception. I get it.

you didn’t check, their policy was no kids, you kept pushing, you got asked to make another appointment.

they have done nothing wrong

You could have invalidated their insurance. Get a kit off the Internet. Manucurist is very gentle and not so toxic. Gel nails can be really dangerous and I work in the industry.

I also wouldn't want children around me in my personal space at a spa. I think you'll find many have an almost therapy type session. It's adult time.

OP - you were unreasonable for trying to insist your kids stay in a kids free business. You are being unreasonable for feeling upset that they repeatedly had to tell you it was not ok. I don’t think you are upset about their tone or delivery, you’re upset because you couldn’t force them to do what you wanted.

I have two daughters about the same ages as yours and I would be really irritated if I went for a treatment (even a walk in nail bar FWIW) and found 2 kids on iPads hanging around. Did it not occur to you that the other patrons may have kids that they figured out childcare for so they could enjoy their treatment (and not force the receptionist to babysit for them)? If your nails are that important to you then do what everyone else does and make plans properly, don’t try force businesses to accommodate your specific circumstances (or lack of planning).

I also find people who say things like “other patrons love interacting with my kid/dog” tell themselves that when in reality very few total strangers care or want to be involved in amusing or indulging random kids.

Go on your own next time.

Your daughters were upset because they saw you being upset.

You got upset because you were told no repeatedly.

You were told no repeatedly because you tried to break a rule, and when they enforced a boundary around that rule you tried to get them to agree to you breaking the rule, which they didn't, and then you repeated the attempt.

If somebody is repeatedly trying to override your polite but firmly enforced boundary, you have a right to escalate how firmly you are enforcing that boundary. So too does a business.

I don't blame you for trying to find a way that was acceptable to them for you to have your children with you, since you had already made the mistake and turned up, and the timeliness was an important factor for you - but getting upset because they escalated how firm their no was when you didn't accept their first no, that was 100% on you.

Absolutely! I really hate that attitude.

Oh, but if you don’t want a five year old wandering up to you in the middle of a leg wax to witter on about nail colours, apparently that’s your issue! 🤣

If people can’t cope with a 5 minute chat with polite children then that’s their issue.

Aw until this part I really thought we had got through.

Also, you have upset your daughters, unnecessarily. Explain that you were wrong in this situation and became emotional. Say that you're going to the salon to apologise.

“One of the reasons I don’t use headphones is because then they can’t hear themselves and talk loudly, with the sound down really low they talk quietly”
If headphones mean they won’t talk quietly then the devices should be muted totally. No one else wants to listen to your kids devices however quiet you think the volume might be. I’d actually far rather listen to your kids (chatting/playing/reading quietly without any electronics)