Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

You sound like a nightmare. Why did you beg them after they told you the rules? I think you embarrassed yourself.

Generally under 16's aren't allowed into a spa. Taking your children into a nail bar, where you are in the same room, and able to keep an eye on them, is different to taking them to a spa. Usually nails are in a treatment room, so therefore you wouldn't have been in the same room to supervise your daughter's. You should have phoned beforehand to check with the spa. You were told firmly by a member of staff that your children weren't permitted in the spa. You wouldn't accept the answer, and then the owner of the spa, again reiterated the same, and you still wouldn't accept the answer. I don't know of any local spas to me, that accept under 16's, even supervised. It's likely to do with their insurance, they aren't covered if children are on the premises. Yes, I understand you were frustrated too, because you were looking forward to having your nails done for the special occasion, but they were simply following the rules.

I really don’t understand what you expected? They told you no children. That was your cue to apologise and say you will book another slot. Then you leave. Go get an ice cream.

you begged and pleaded and made the encounter difficult all round.

did you expect them to apologise? Or to tell you that your children are the most specially weshelly ever but they still can’t be there? That they just looooove the sound of iPads blaring some inane crap but the owner is a big meanie and won’t let them?

get a grip.

Also, businesses like this probably don't have the insurance to cover children. If your child fell over and hurt themselves they would be in big big trouble.

Believe me, no one wants to have your kids chatting to them at a nail appointment. No one finds them delightful, entertaining or endearing. Most people will be too polite to make it obvious that they don't want to entertain them and chat.

You lack self awareness and like others here I think the staff had to be firm with you as you hadn't accepted their polite no.

Ah, I've been caught out by the no kids in hotel spa rule before now. Apparently all Warners hotels are child free - I had no idea to even think about this, but luckily I was only babysitting while my friend had a treatment and I was able to take kiddo outside for a walk in the grounds.

YANBU to not have realised in the first place that this was something you needed to account for, but YABU not to have accepted that this was a rule and they weren't going to make an exception for you.

I'm afraid that as a customer if I had been promised a child free area and there was a 5 and an 8 year old in the reception area I wouldn't be very happy about it - and as I say, I'm somebody who has made the same innocent mistake!

Also don’t take your DCs to nail bars, the fumes can be harmful to children.

I think the staff matched your energy. No is a complete sentence but you weren’t having none of it and tried to negotiate, again no is a complete sentence. The tears just added fuel to the fire and only served to highlight your sense of entitlement.

Your local nail bar is very different prospect to a spa.

You almost sound like you were doing them a favour by considering turning the volume down.

Op, you need to check yourself because your behaviour was very very poor, yet you appear to be oblivious.

The fact you think it’s ok at all to have the volume on makes me feel like you are not aware of how irritating you or your children’s behavior is. If they can’t talk quietly without headphones, then you can’t take them with you. I would be polite to children trying to chat about my nails while they were being done but inside, I would be annoyed AF. I would not take it out on the kids because it’s not their fault their parent is letting them be irritating.

Everyone is saying YABU and you’re still arguing. Reinforce that you are not aware of how others are perceiving your actions.

Agree with most of the PP. YABU and even more so thinking it would be ok to have the volume down on the iPads. Adults can have adults only spaces without kids hanging about. Spa tend to be a relaxing experience and a treat for lots of people. No offence but they don’t want to hanging around with your kids trying to enjoy their treatment.

Could you have handled it better?

My local HOSPITAL doesn't allow children to wait unsupervised whilst you have an X-ray or give blood. Which is usually a damned sight more necessary (to the point of potential actual life or death) than getting your nails done. You can imagine the real frustration of trying to sort childcare for a 5 minute appointment when the dc would be sat within view or out of sight for literally seconds. But nope. Rules are rules.

At the point of tears indeed. Get a fucking grip op. A good lesson for your dc in being told NO - I bet they don't hear that very often...

I got to a salon for some relaxing pampering, i don't even want to see kids there. It'd adult time. My salon is 14+ only

Do you feel you were kind when you disrespected the business policy and continued to try and argue for your kids to stay, despite being told no a number of times? You were rude and got rudeness back- take that as a life lesson.

Nobody would even be looking at or interested in your nails, would they?

The thing is, you said/ know that they would sit quietly, but the spa doesn’t know that. Not all parents are a reliable judge of their kids behaviour!! For all they know, they would be loud (5 is really young), and upset their other customers - some who would be having relaxing treatments like a facial or massage and really don’t want to hear children.

They probably had to end up being quite blunt with you because you weren’t taking no for an answer and were trying to negotiate.

Sorry that you had a bad experience, but this one is on you I think

Well, you could have been kinder and listened when they said no the first time. You are being very unreasonable. Your behaviour pushiness got a reaction you don't like. Next time, listen to and respect the staff, it's not hard.

So they bore the staff and other customers too.Bet they hate it.Sorry.

They can't be responsible for children in reception while they're not with you, they don't let them in treatment areas so there was just no way around it. Staff cant be alone with kids under any circumstances in most places and even sometimes not allowed when even in eyeline ifmparwnt but far away.

And having ipads with any volume at all is unreasonable, they should be wearing headphones in a public space and doubly so a spa had they been allowed in.

But was there anything wrong with the way they spoke to you the first time when they said no?

Whilst I don’t think anyone should be upset by having rules enforced or explained to them, it does sound as if you just kept on and on asking. There are plenty of places who would have got security to escort you out the building if you had pestered.

You should have checked their policies, I’m afraid. Nail and hair appointments are a bit of a nightmare to coordinate for me as my husband and I work different days/hours so I always have to organise childcare to go to appointments which is annoying but I would never dream of taking my children along to an appointment or expect the salon to be okay with me doing that.

In this instance the salon explained their position clearly and you went on and on, it’s fair enough to have pushed back once to promise they’d be quiet, but when they reiterated the ‘no’ you should have accepted it, so I get why the lady got a bit snippy.

You are being unreasonable to complain if they have a no children rule, when I go to the salon I don’t want kids there. I have been to some before where children have been waiting and haven’t been “really good” and sat quietly with the iPad. You should sort some suitable childcare next time.

People are focussing on exactly the right thing. Anti-social use of devices without headphones is an increasing issue that many (most?) people find incredibly annoying. Am I going to suck it up in a busy family restaurant? I mean, probably, but it's still rude. In an adult / luxury environment it's extremely rude.

Your experience with the spa is not the issue (don't like them, don't go back). The way you choose to inflict your children on random bystanders & what that teaches those same children about what is and is not acceptable is the issue.

You're being offered genuine feedback and an opportunity to reflect. While I'm sure that's a little uncomfortable, it'd be better all round (including for your kids) if you nip the it in the bud while they're still little.

I think People’s point about the iPad volume, is that you think something that the vast majority think is wildly unacceptable, is ok. Which makes it very hard for any of us to trust your side of the story. You “asked nicely”, we’re hearing “demanded an exception to a policy”.

I’d like my DC to sit quietly in a posh restaurant and eat dinner at 8pm. But they won’t so I don’t take them. I don’t take them and say “I’m trying to get them to learn to not have a tantrum whilst up way after their bed time but it’s just so hard.” Which is effectively what you’re saying about headphones, they can’t behave in a socially acceptable way so you let them be obnoxious at a non essential event.

I agree with the majority here, who say you were being unreasonable and really rather pushy to not take no for an answer.

Also, I wanted to add, the reason your children got upset was because of the drama you created. Crying over a nail appointment, seriously, and doing that in front of your kids. Ridiculous. Be a better role model and practice some resilience.