Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

I dont want to go into a salon even just to get nails done and have any children there. I have no childcare too and book my appointment when they’re not around. a) for myself and b) to be considerate to others like myself that get very little down time.

I certainly do not want to hear any slight hint of a film/cartoon/youtube in my very rare 1 hour alone time.

No volume at all is the only acceptable volume.

I think you’re unreasonable because

1. You didn’t check
2. It’s crazy rude to let your children listen to the iPad at any volume at all. In any scenario. If they can’t behave then they can’t have it.
3. You wanted to leave your minor children in another room under the care of… who?

This. It sounds like they were kind to start with and then got annoyed at all the "oh please-ing" from the OP.

You were totally in the wrong and it sounds like the staff had to be straight as quite honestly it comes across that you were an entitled princess.
If I am at a spa or parlour and I do not have my children with me you can be damned sure I don't want to see or hear yours.
I mean I can't wear gels or nails Polish due to work restrictions, but I save lives so I have an excuse- what pray tell was the nail emergency?

Some kids have no chance with parents as spoilt, entitled and as stupid as this.

No one wants to listen to your children’s iPad even in the waiting room of a spa/nail bar. It doesn’t matter that you can’t hear it in the treatment room - clients don’t want to sit in reception listening to it either. That’s why spa receptions are pleasant and relaxing.

The receptionist doesn’t get paid to baby sit your children.

There’s probably dangerous shit in a spa that could genuinely hurt your children and validate their insurance.

Some spaces are adults only. That’s great. Your children aren’t invited into them. That’s ok. They and you will cope.

Crying over not being able to get your nails done is ridiculous. Letting your children get upset because you couldn’t get your nails done is even worse.

Quite honestly you are still arguing that you think you should have been allowed don’t you?

I don’t know any spa that allows under 18s, let alone under 18s who will be unsupervised which they would be.
I have my nails done at a spa sometimes and it is completely different to a nail salon.
Saying you would turn the volume down or off implies that originally you were going to let them keep it on and disturb everyone else there. Plus saying they could wait in reception implies you were happy for them to be unsupervised.
You should have checked in advance and I respect the manager for advocating for her business and her clientele.
Personally I would be really cross if I had paid for time at a spa and not had the experience I paid for due to someone else who had just assumed they would change the rules for them.
In hindsight maybe your kids could have been picked up by someone else or gone to after school club on this occasion.

Do you really want to teach your daughters that the way to try and get their own way is to beg and then cry? It’s a total over reaction on your part to have kept pushing when you already been told no. The staff are under no obligation to treat you kindly when you don’t accept a very reasonable explanation why they couldn’t accommodate your children.

YABU and your continuing posts are cringey, you should have accepted the no and not allowed yourself to get teary, you are responsible for upsetting your own children.

It sounded like they had to be firm with you as you kept on asking if they could sit elsewhere. My DD9 is not allowed volume on her tablet/phone when out in public unless she has headphones on. She sometimes comes to my nail appointment with me, she gets a nice manicure amd nail art amd then will read a book or play a game until I'm finished. Wouldn't even consider letting her have the volume on

Who wants to listen to kids on an iPad when they are having a massage, or even having nails done?? I certainly don’t.

make other arrangements for your kids. Not everyone finds them as lovely as you do, and it’s not appropriate to take them to a nail bar or a spa.

And FFS don’t make a complaint. You’ll look like an idiot.

What if everyone wanted to bring their kids with them? No room for customers to sit and a room full of “low level” iPad noise? Has to be a blanket rule.

I always think it’s interesting to read an OP’s posts before replying to a question of AIBU.

@OrlaMcCool judging by your posts on here, I think you were BU. You won’t even accept it on here and you’re not in the spa / beauty studio / whatever else you’re calling it now. Just let it go, use it as a learning experience

The fact that you’re still trying to justify yourself is making you seem completely entitled and insufferable. I can’t believe you let your children wander round and chat to other customers having their nails done!

It sounds like you got hysterical - begging and crying - over getting your nails done. You need to think about your priorities and better regulate your emotions in front of your children.

The Spa were right, you pushed and forced them to push back. You were unpleasant and embarrassed yourself honestly.

I already thought you unreasonable and then you stated ‘watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible’ and I feel quite incredulous at your lack of manners.

ANY VOLUME AT ALL IS NOT OK. And if kids are not allowed, they’re not allowed.

Why would you ever take your daughters to a nail place? Christ knows what they're inhaling and a proper salon that does other treatments definitely not.

Those little high street places are also one of the worst businesses for criminal exploitation, human trafficking and money laundering, but as long as you get your nails done....

They needed to "act like bouncers" to penetrate your incredibly thick skin and get through to the brain.

No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs

You have repeatedly shown on this thread that you can’t take other people’s views into consideration. It’s all about you and your DC. People are being polite, no one ‘enjoys’ having to entertain other people’s kids.

I was posting about the way I was treated though, I was asking if I am unreasonable to be upset about it?
My daughters were really upset when we left especially from seeing me upset, I feel like it couldn’t have been handled better and they could have spoken to me in a kinder way.

YOU could have handled it better. They told you to rebook, you thought you and your DC were more important than all the other guests that their policy is there to protect. You went in and on and on until they lost patience with you. It’s on you. Any upset was entirely your own fault. No doubt your ruined the day of the poor employees too.

Thank you so much for understanding my point. I really don’t understand why it’s such an issue either two girls sitting quietly.
I do accept the decision not to allow children but all I wanted was a kinder response like your example.

In future I’ll be going back to the walk in place and if I need to take my girls at least I know it’s not an issue.

Based on some of these responses it seems that being kind isn’t as important as getting your point across 😭.

Children disrupt things that people have paid to enjoy. Businesses then get complained at. Regardless of whether you can get your children to behave properly, the fact is that millions can’t so children aren’t welcome in situations where it’s previously been a problem.

This with bells on!! It is NOT ON to have the volume on any device in a public space!!

YOU could have handled it better! It is entirely your fault that your children were upset. Perhaps learning that there are actually rules and boundaries that apply to them will be a good thing though…

YABU. They told you you couldn’t take your children in and you kept pushing it. They were just doing their job, it’s not their fault you got yourself worked up and upset over a nail appointment. I don’t think they were being u reasonable at all.

Other customers and technicians are not enjoying talking to your children - they are tolerating them because they don’t want o be rude - unlike you