Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

I was Team Spa anyway but I was genuinely agog that you said you would turn the ipad down or off because what in the actual fucking fuck were you thinking not having headphones in the first place?!

Why on earth are the ipads in public without them? They shouldn't be talking if the ipad is on full stop.

And These sorts of places are assumed to he childfree. Nobody should be having to put up with your kids being there, no matter how charming you think they are or how much not a bother. I would never rebook with a salon that allowed kids in.

Book an at home service.

YABU most nail places don’t allow children. There is one near us that offers children’s services (little nail sticker things) and so I take DD(9) to that occasionally and we get our nails done together but it is very very clear that they welcome children.

Other customers and staff do not like talking to your kids. They do it to be polite.

I don't wanna chat to random kids when I'm in a salon. Jeez. Just because people are polite enough to engage, it doesn't mean they don't find them a nuisance!

The bit where I think you were most U was thinking they might be able to watch their I-pads without headphones!

And also I think you should have checked in advance, and not argued with them when they said no.

It is only a nail appointment, not anything lifesaving.

There is a difference between a high street nail bar and a spa.

This must be one of the most entitled OPs ever to grace these boards. You are being ridiculous.

Spas are very different to walk in nail bars. Very. Depending on the calibre of the nail bar I’d be wary even then. There was a woman the other week in my local one trying to juggle a newborn and a toddler while having her nails done. It was stressful for me just watching her trying to juggle the situation and it got so bad other women stepped in to help her. One very kind woman walked the baby up and down outside the salon. Couldn’t believe the mother actually let her. Sometimes you just have to accept you can’t get your nails done. It’s very selfish to bring your kids to places where other women are trying to relax. So yes in short you’re being very selfish here.

It's not just about the iPad though. Do you expect the reception staff to babysit your kids just because you want to get your nails done? Can you imagine if all parents had that attitude? Jesus

In fact, I'd go as far as saying I find it really irritating when adults allow their children to interrupt adults and expect them to go along with their mindless chit chat. I would never let my son make a pest of himself.c

The staff said no and you pushed it so I can see why they had to be firm with you. Do you honestly think it's ok to leave your kids in a reception area with Ipads - it's totally inappropriate. What about safeguarding? Who was meant to be responsible for them in your absence - the receptionist? By all means complain to the company who rent the space out but I don't think you'll get the response you want from them.

It's not just about the iPad though. Do you expect the reception staff to babysit your kids just because you want to get your nails done? Can you imagine if all parents had that attitude? Jesus

You keep referring to them as ‘not a spa’ and more a beauticians as if to undermine their offering, and justify your unreasonableness. Fair enough you didn’t realise. But to keep pushing them to try and get an answer that better suited you, and then to start reducing their business to an offering you feel is lesser than they do to somehow justify your position seems strange.

The spa are correct to enforce their no children policy. You are essentially asking them to prioritise your needs above all of their other clients & getting upset when they don’t.

I feel like people are focusing on the wrong things like the iPad volume.

I accept I shouldn’t have brought them to the appointment and I’m taking in points people have made. A pp mentioned insurance which I hadn’t considered.

I was posting about the way I was treated though, I was asking if I am unreasonable to be upset about it?
My daughters were really upset when we left especially from seeing me upset, I feel like it couldn’t have been handled better and they could have spoken to me in a kinder way.

Sorry...didn't mean to quote you 😀

I agree and actively avoid beauty salons that allow children on the premises.

This. Why did you keep pushing? Their reasoning is valid. It's their business, their rules. Your sister is right, and you're unreasonable.

I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off

Wowwww so you usually let them sit in a shared place with iPads playing out loud? How have you gone 9 years without realising how antisocial that is?

Almost every poster has said you were wrong, as has your sister. Please stop being defensive and think about what’s being said.

Your DC may be lovely, and well behaved. That’s not the point. You were told straight away they weren’t allowed. You should have accepted this, rebooked and gone quickly and quietly away . You didn’t, the staff needed to be firm and now you’re blaming them for you being upset. Also if this brings you close to tears you must live a charmed life otherwise.

Please stop and reflect on this.

I don’t understand why two girls sitting there quietly in their iPad is not acceptable. Is not have a problem with it if someone brought their children, especially if they are well behaved. My daughter is like that, very well behaved and she’ll sit down and read her book or kindle. I don’t get my nails done or have beauty treatments but we have gone to the spa many times throughout the last 5 years and she always behaves well. She’s 11. I took her with me to doctors appointments and dentist appointments and she never was any problem.
I don’t think you were unreasonable, having said that, I’d not have begged. I’d just have gone elsewhere or did my nails at home (I always do). They had a bad attitude. They could have been nice about it and say no in a kind way (We are an adults only establishment, I’m really sorry to disappoint you but unfortunately we can’t accommodate children). It’s not hard or difficult to be kind and respectful.

But you wouldn’t take no for an answer, you said you were practically “begging “.

And who would be watching your kids if they were in reception and you were in the treatment room? The receptionist? I used to get this in my old role and people got really funny when I said no. Aside from being an insurance issue (we weren’t covered for children) these parents didn’t know whether I was a weirdo and it wasn’t my job to watch random kids. YABVVU (as most people here are telling you).

I feel like it couldn’t have been handled better and they could have spoken to me in a kinder way.

You kept arguing with them demanding special treatment and exception from the rules!

I mean to be fair (following up on my first post where I said YABU) our local nail bar allows children to wait. But it’s a very “rough and ready” type nail bar in a rough and ready area.

No one is going in for a relaxing experience!

Sorry op I also think Yabu.
I never took my dc's to any of my appts. Going to the hairdressers/ for my brows done etc was 'me' time. I wanted to relax, which you can't do with your children there.
I also felt it would be a bit inconsiderate to other customers. Who are probably mums too, but they've managed to get a bit of child free time. The last thing they'd have wanted/ needed was my children chattering away/ sat on their iPads, when they've escaped their own for a bit 🤣.
The spa had a no child policy and that should be respected. You got it wrong today, but it's no big deal. Why not arrange your next appt for when your dc's are in school. It's win win for everyone.