Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

What was their excuse with having an issue if they had allowed it before? It’s rude of them to cancel your appointment when clearly you wouldn’t think there would be a problem when there wasn’t one previously.

Probably because they’ve since had complaints about kids watching iPads and chatting to the staff and customers! It’s quite hard to politely object to this in the moment but it’s not what you’re looking for when you’re getting your nails done, really!

A post by a local beautician (high street, not in any way luxurious) came up on my Facebook recently saying they are implementing a rule of no children or dogs. Whilst dome can sit quietly, others cannot and it's not only a health and safety issue, but supposed to be a pleasant experience for all customers.

In general hotel spas do not allow kids in the treatment area. You were told no but you were told no. Having the kids waiting with unknown adults is a child safety issue. The receptionists are not babysitters. You seem to think that you are being wonderful by saying your children would play their ipads as low as possible. I can see why they were annoyed with you and wanted you out.

They may not be insured to let under 18s in, even if they are not having a treatment.

We all make mistakes and have errors of judgement. I think my reaction would have been, 'Bugger, I didn't think that one through, did I? I completely understand. So sorry. Yes please, can I make another appointment?'

And can you imagine what it would be like if everyone brought two children along? Quite quickly you could have lots of children taking up the space! And one person's idea of a well-behaved child is not another person's idea of a well-behaved child. And then we would have the 'Oh, he can't help climbing on the chairs, opening the drawers etc, he has ADHD and you can't discriminate.' (I have worked lots with ADHD children, and a beauty salon is not somewhere I would take them!)

More likely because it wasn't the same place as previous times - from the OP where she mentions a voucher for a hotel spa (which has since been downgraded to a nail bar), sounds like it was a new place. So, it wasn't allowed before since there was no before.

Sorry but do you seriously take your kids to places and let them listen to their iPads? That would drive me insane in a busy restaurant let alone a spa. Sound off ok - but you usually let them have sound?

I don't think this is an example of centring her own children. If that were the case they wouldn't be being dragged to a nails appointment after a full day of school.

This is an example of OP centring herself to the detriment of everyone else, including her children.

Or good old fashioned colouring in

@OrlaMcCool - I’m sorry, but I don’t think the staff at the spa were rude. They told you the policy and said your children couldn’t wait in the spa’s reception while you had your nails done. You tried to talk them into ignoring their policy, and carried on pushing, until the manager was forced to intervene, and was a bit curt with you.

Have you considered what might have happened if the receptionist had ignored her employer’s policy, and let your daughters stay - she might have got in trouble with her manager - she shouldn’t have to risk a reprimand so you can get a manicure, should she?

Also, if the spa lets your well behaved children, with their quiet iPad into the spa, they have to let any kid in - and other kids might not sit quietly. If the spa wants a quiet, relaxing atmosphere for their clients, they can’t let any children in - they can’t say quiet children who sit still, with silent devices are allowed, but badly behaved children aren’t. How would the receptionist police such a policy?

As other posters have said - what about the spa’s insurance? Just having your children sitting quietly in the reception are could invalidate their insurance - it’s not fair of you to expect the spa to take that risk.

Just so you're away, they may not have complained to you but no one enjoys them being there, they are simply putting up with them.

eta - Oh, and they fact they're using iPads without headphones in public is wholly unacceptable - no one else wants to hear that noise!

Actually, that's true. Although she certainly underestimates the impact of dragging the children to her appointments and thinks everyone else should be indulgent.

YABVVU

You have to appreciate, if they allow children in that means allowing all children, and then if they misbehave (yes, even kids whose parents promise impeccable behaviour can misbehave) having a difficult conversation asking them all to leave, which might be impossible if the parent is partway through a treatment.

I wouldn't want to go to a spa/salon for my nails or a spa treatment if children were present. And I wouldn't expect to be able to take my child to that environment either.

YABU to not accept their stance, apologise for not checking beforehand and leave.

The fact you even have to mention that you will get the tablets turned right down 'and even no sound' shows you were planning on having them sat there on a tablet making noise, which is rude as hell to begin with. People that let their kids sit on screens making noise in public places are broadcasting that they don't care at all about anyone else around them.

I would be more likely to go to this spa after this story tbh.

I adore children, love chatting with them - I have two myself, but when I’m having my nails done even in the walk in place, I don’t want to chat to other peoples kids. I would honestly find having a 5 year old talking at me or on their iPad annoying. It’s one of the only times I’m an adult and have some quiet time to myself out of work, and entertaining someone’s kids isn’t what I’m there for.

"When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.
I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated."

So they said no kids are allowed inside, and instead of saying oh okay, sorry, I didn't think to check first, you decided to try and argue against their policy, to the extent that someone else had to come over and back up the original employee?

I would honestly be really embarrassed if I were you. You showed yourself up by trying to muscle your way in with your children and I would imagine there'd be a few sighs if they saw your name on the booking sheet in the future.

If you get the 'in ear' headphones, they can wear just one ear and I find that stops them talking loudly (because they can't hear themselves) :)

This reminds me of a thread from aeons ago where op was incredulous that the group of friends she'd arranged to go for a spa deal/meal out, weren't delighted that she'd brought along her 8 year old, as said 8yo felt like 'one of the girls' and loved chatting with them, so why wouldn't she be included in their socialising?!

I feel like it's hard to believe someone is this obtuse. Business have policies for a reason. If they change it for one person, the they have to change it for everyone. Just because a parent says their kids are quiet and well behaved doesn't mean the kids actually will be, especially when the parent is distracted.

Kinda feels like a troll post about "kids on ipads in childfree places" goading.

At the end of the day kids on ipads in adult settings are annoying. And if a business has a policy then they have every right to enforce it. There's only so many times you can say no politely.

Just adding another vote: if your kids have iPads with sound on in a public place, ever, you are being a fucking nuisance.

I HATE this tendency.

Once got told off for being rude because I'd asked parents to turn off the sound of Peppa Pig so I could hear properly at a school play. So entitled.

Oh my god! Some parents are just unbelievable.

You wouldn't respect their policy, or accept that no means no, and kept pushing - until they had to become assertive with you.

And turning the sound down isn't an option - If they're using a pad, they should be using earphones.

YABU. Especially not accepting that no means no.

They had no choice but to be firm because you didn't accept their polite ''sorry, no'' not once but twice. You only have yourself to blame if it upset your DC.

I hate people that accuse someone of being rude just because they don’t get their own way. telling you something you don’t want to hear is not the same a being rude. I get complaints in my line of work like this all the time and it always boils down to them not liking policy and nothing to do with the person they are actually complaining about.

How do you know they aren’t keen on chatting? I have 3 children but personally don’t like strangers children trying to engage me in conversation. it makes me really uncomfortable but I also don’t like confrontation and don’t want to seem like a bitch so just tolerate it while raging inside. Your children would really bother me.

How do people feel about men with ankle tags in a spa? This was my experience at the weekend and I surprised myself by clutching my pearls/bosoms when I realised (as did my friend). I wished there was a spa policy on this because it made me v uncomfortable.

Obviously I was too scared to start my own thread (which wouldn’t be as unanimous as this one). And I’d still choose former criminals over anyone’s annoying children, obviously. 😂