Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

Unless you're dragging them around to wait at appointments with you regularly you could just leave the IPad at home and chat with your kids. You've mentioned a few times how other people always enjoy chatting to them, what a treat that you can enjoy that all of the time.

By kinder do you mean take responsibility for your children, due to your poor planning? Your children aren’t their problem. When l get my hair, nails etc done then l leave my children at home and expect others to do the same. You are being unreasonable and entitled

It is not a child free business’s job to accommodate your kids. It is not the job of other customers to entertain your kids.

You say they’d be no trouble and behave beautifully etc whilst also saying they’d bother other customers with chit chat and don’t wear headphones with their iPads.

The fact you behaved like a spoilt brat when told no does not suggest your children would behave as immaculately as you try to make out.

"I don’t let my kids harass other customers at the usual nail bar we go to, they have brief interactions where they usually compliment their nails or the colour they have chosen. If people can’t cope with a 5 minute chat with polite children then that’s their issue."

Oh god, I would hate nothing more than having a five minute chat with a random child. Come on OP.

This. A million times over.

Me and my friend were in a wine bar recently having a catch up on a Saturday afternoon and some toddler kept running over to us and trying to show us stuff?! Her mum was sat nearby with a friend and seemed to think it was adorable and kept smiling over at us. What did she think we were?! Free babysitters?! We got up and went and sat outside. If we wanted to sit and chat to other people's kids, we would have gone to soft play.

Some people's entitlement is another level.

What the hell was a child doing in a wine bar? Jeez. What is wrong with people.

I wouldn't go to a spa or nail salon that allowed children. I want a nice peaceful adult experience.

I would not be happy with random kids in a spa if I wanted some relaxation.

YABVU.

I do feel that this post really highlights how the #bekind mantra is really just a way of rude people redirecting their poor behaviour onto others.

I can’t think of anything worse than paying a lot for some spa treatments and turning up and seeing two kids with iPads on! That’s what I’m trying to get away from. You’re so entitled and ridiculous

I would never take my kids to a spa, what the hell were you thinking op?! Of course they were hostile towards you. You were trying to break the spa’s policy and started to cry about it. Do better OP and grow up.

User posts in aibu but doesn't want to be told YABU

User argues and keeps trying to justify

Only wants kindness aka people to agree with them

I would say everyone involved is unreasonable to some extend.

The spa/therapist/shop is entitled to have rules and policies in place and frankly I do understand not bending those rules. What happens if they allow your kids to stay and another parent see's that and they want to do the same thing in their next appointment. How do you decide which parents you say yes to and which ones you say no to. I don't dispute your kids may have been perfectly behaved, but the next parent that sees them may have little devils, how is the shop meant to know? A zero tolerance policy is the safest and easiest policy to police.

When they said to you their rules were a strict no you should have accepted rather than carrying on, asking one more time "I really didn't know the rules, is there any chance you could let me off this one time?" is fine but if that is still a no then its time to move on.

Could they have said no in a nicer way rather than blocking the doorway and from what you have said being rude, yes absolutely they could but the more of a scene you make the faster they would have wanted you out of there and the more you ignore their initial answer the more they will feel they need to escalate their reaction.

Short version yes they could have been nicer to you and had a better customer service attitude in the way this was dealt with but you escalated it and made it worse by the way you acted too. Everyone could have done things better, everyone shoulders some blame.

I think she's one of those people who centres their own children so much, they never consider the impact on others.
They children are used to chatting to other customers and talking about nail colours? As pp have said, maybe the customers don't want that, they're just being polite. However, for the OP to argue with the spa's manager and get tearful in front of her children is very poor.

The fumes alone make it unsafe for children to be in nail spas.

They could have been nicer but you said yourself that you get pushing them to change their minds so that is probably why they became firmer. I can understand you felt embarrassed, thus reacted that way, so give yourself grace that it wasn't your best moment but it's not defining at all.

I voted you are being unreasonable only because if it's their policy, then it's their policy. You have to accept it

Yeah that's really what stuck out to me as well. Especially because nobody was unkind or rude, they were simply not budging to the OP's insistence.

Yes, I think she's used to getting her own way.

Kids at a wine bar is hilarious 🤣

I was recently abroad for a week, out for dinner. Think relaxed informal setup on a promenade. Very family friendly. All good and fine, nothing unreasonable so far. However next table's toddler daughter became enamoured with us trying to have a quiet dinner and literally got up from her table every 5 minutes and came to our table to "chat" (babble in gibberish). It was mildly cute the first couple times, but very absurd and irritating as it kept on happening and the parents smiled to us like idiots. It was also a busy place so the toddler constantly was in the way. I was bemused by the parents oblivious-ness 😬

Your kids are only special to you. To everyone round about you they are annoying and ruining their self care time...and i say this as a mum of 3 young daughters who are 5, 10 and 12 and i know for a fact they wouldnt enjoy sitting watching me get my nails done so I doubt yours do to.

One of the reasons I don’t use headphones is because then they can’t hear themselves and talk loudly, with the sound down really low they talk quietly.

This has to be a wind up. Why do you think the receptionist and other customers want to listen to kid's shows on an iPad?

I would imagine they have this policy (confirmed to you by the business owner) because they have enough paying customers who are happy to abide by it, so I'm not sure what you hope to achieve by complaining. I own a venue similar to a cafe and tell both adults and children they need to use headphones on devices. I will remind them several times if needed. People who don't agree with that can vote with their feet. I'm making enough money without their custom and get to go home without a headache from the noise, so the policy is a no brainer!

That's still a spa!

Sorry, but yabu.

When I go to have my nails (or any other beauty treatment other than just hair), ive made arrangements for my own children to be somewhere else because they are not spaces for children, especially if it is a spa type place - so I wouldn't be very happy to have to be around other people's children.

My nail bar does let children come in, and that's fine. I wouldn't take my own children because I dont want them around the chemicals etc, but I appreciate others dont feel the same. I know in advance that there may be occasionally kids there, so I cant moan about it. I dont particularly love hearing their ipads blaring peppa pig, but I have to suck it up because that's the salon policy. Your salon policy is not to have kids there - so you need to either accept that or go sonewhere where they dont mind kids

Yeah the OP seems fixated on "it's not a REAL SPA"

It's not a walk-in nail bar, so it does sound a more formal/relaxing environment than your average walk-in place
Regardless of if it had spa, salon, place, or tavern in the name, they explained their policy multiple times so I feel the "it's not a spa" discussion is a bit of a red herring