Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

Can I ask, if your children were wandering round having their 5 minute chats with other customers (so not sitting in reception watching their iPad) and one of them fell over, who would you expect to pick them up? If you have wet nails, would you go and pick them up and damage your nails? And if so, because of course you would attend to your own children, would you then expect the nail tech to go into someone else's time to rectify the damage? And would you pay the extra for their time / the polish? Or would you ask one of the other customers with dry nails, or maybe the nail tech, or the receptionist to sort them out? And if they were crying? Would you take them outside so as not to upset all the other paying customers or would you expect them to BeKind and smile politely? And would you expect the nail tech to continue once they were quiet again, again maybe into someone else's time?

It's not acceptable to expect anyone doing their job to interact with anyone else's children.

How are you going to intervene if they act up or tell them to turn the volume down? What about when they complain about the smell, you're going to get up mid dremeling?

Your expectations were weird, you should have checked before taking your kids, and No means No. That they had to get the owner over, you should be embarrassed by your behaviour. You taught your kids arguing and begging and whining is ok.

Oh, and stop letting them bother other customers. Rude!

YABU!
Nobody should have an iPad with the volume on. The fact you offered to turn it down means you think this is okay. Just no! It’s bloody rude and selfish.

I'm sure they could have been more polite, and that's bad of them. I wonder if it was an insurance issue. Kids around all those chemicals, you know? Or, they may have been burned in the past with promises that kids would be good, and they weren't.

Spas aren't places for kids, really.

You are very unreasonable, i am really surprised that you think it’s appropriate for your two children to be in a nail salon, where adults are paying for treatments. I would definitely not expect someone to turn up with their children, and agree with a previous poster, it’s where people go to escape kids and have a bit of me time!!

If childcare is an issue, you would be better finding a mobile mail technician to come to your home. Then your precious darlings can get involved all they like and it won’t annoy other people.

@OrlaMcCool peer posters are upsetting you more now that you’ve committed the ultimate crime of the century by taking children to a nail salon. Take the kind comments and leave the rest to pick on another anonymous stranger would be my advice.

YABU by being one of those parents who don’t use headphones. I’ve got good hearing and can hear pepper pig from a mile off. No one wants to hear your kids iPads full stop, never mind in a nail salon.

Why are you so entitled and lacking in self-awareness that you believe your kids trump the enjoyment and relaxation of paying customers? I understand bringing them to a walk in, noisy nail bar on a high street perhaps but an actual spa?!

Nobody wants to listen to squawking, screaming kids or the repetitive noises of their ipads whilst having a massage or bikini wax! The nail techs who you mentioned were probably just being polite and were probably secretly exasperated by being bothered whilst they were trying to do their jobs. The fact you persisted with the owner who was resolute in her stance that your kids were unwelcome makes you sound obnoxious. Some private business are child-free, this is the price you pay when you become a parent.

Aside from thinking the kids may have disturbed others, they might not have had insurance that covers kids being on the premises. If something happened, their insurance could be invalidated.

Honestly I’m so irritated reading the post. Entitled people with their irritating children. I’m sure it must be a made up post!?

No , there are people who think they are so important , and their children bless them( they usually say this) , are perfect.

I was lucky to have very well-behaved DC.

The fact that you thought they could watch iPads with no headphones anywhere in public show that you haven’t got a clue. Do you not realise how much that drives people mad even when you are on a bus, let alone at a spa?

I gave up years ago and accepted that there are virtually no child-free spaces left in the world. Restaurants have toddlers screaming their heads off with tiredness at 9pm because they should be in bed; tiny islands in the Maldives have small kids racing around the restaurants; even bars have kids sitting at them. I've seen it twice - once with a 5-year-old and once with a twelve-year-old. (With adults, of course.) Saturday evening ballet ruined by a three-year-old squirming between seats and making her parents keep swapping. (Why the hell couldn't they have gone to the matinee?) Kids at a spa is simply the latest invasion.

When I was a child, early Eighties, people didn't take their kids to all these adult spaces. They just didn't.

They don’t “wander round” pestering people.

When we go to the usual walk in nail bar with rows of seats they sit on chairs next to me if it’s quiet or directly behind me.

If they are sat next to me at a station and someone is getting their nails done right next to them then they might comment that it’s a nice colour or design.

If the person then engages back and asks them about their favourite colour or chats a bit then I don’t want to tell my girls to shut up and stop talking! I let them have a short polite chat then divert their attention back to me or the iPad. I don’t sit and relax whilst they bore strangers for half an hour. That’s why I said I’m sure most people can tolerate a 5 minute conversation.

They are right next to me at all times and aren’t toddlers falling over and messing with equipment.
My nails aren’t wet for long periods of time, they go under the lamp immediately one hand at a time.

Why on earth would they randomly start crying?!

This is just getting weird now. I think a lot of people have never visited a nail bar and don’t know the set up, that’s fair enough people have different interests.
Some people go to the hairdressers regularly which is a similar indulgence to having nails done but doesn’t seem to attract as much negativity.

So did I . But I didn’t inflict them on people in inappropriate settings , saying they are so well behaved , bless them !!!??

You are so unreasonable. The fact that you even consider “volume down” to be an option says it all. I was getting my nails done in a regular nail bar the other day and some idiot brought in her 5 year old. She spent about 10 minutes watching some irritating crap with the volume presumably “low”, and then walked around getting in the way and annoying everyone for half an hour while her mother dotingly smiled. You are that parent.

And who would have been looking after them? I doubt that the staff want, or have time to supervise your children.

No sorry OP but YABU. I have a three year old and wouldn’t dream of taking him to my nail, eyebrow or hair appointments with me. I book my appointments when i have childcare or he’s in school.

Sorry OP you shouldn't have assumed and rang ahead to check kids were welcome.

You are not talking about the specific incident in your OP. That's what we're discussing.
You were told no. That's it.

Even in your first comment to them you assumed that your daughters could sit in the reception area and wait. That probably got their backs up. Surely you can see that? You then wouldn't take no for an answer which meant they had to be firm with you.

This in a nutshell.

I'm about to run out and get my nails done. I do it every month. I'm very aware of the set up and would be super annoyed with some chatty child and her oblivious mother invading my space. Accept that you were wrong, that the spa was right and model better behavior for your children.

.I really don’t understand why it’s such an issue either two girls sitting quietly

The thing is, your kids may be as quiet as church mice but once they've let your two in they have shown that kids can come in.
Other kids maybe whingy and needy while mum gets her nails done or they mess about, run about ar be loud.

I know you said you have now accepted their decision but you should have accepted it first time.