Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

This can’t be real. Nobody can be this dense.

Thank you, I can tell no one is even reading my responses and it’s just getting ridiculous now and imaginations are running riot that I’m leaving my kids to run round crying, playing with equipment whilst blasting iPads on full volume and badgering strangers whilst I sit oblivious just having my nails alone.

I’m going to stop bothering posting because everything I say is twisted.

I could understand if the usual salon we go to has a problem with children but they sometimes do nails for kids of similar ages but I tell mine they are too young yet.

I give up but thank you for your support!

@OrlaMcCool at end of day, people just don’t want to see or kids (and their eye pads) when they are having their nails done or some other kind of beauty treatment. They just don’t. Soz, OP.

YABU

You asked and the reply was sorry no, children aren't allowed in the spa, yet you just wouldn't accept their answer and continued counter questioning their answers.

Had you of just accepted their rules and re booked instead of standing there pushing back your DC probably wouldn't have had to listen to any of the conversation, which was prolonged by yourself, therefore wouldn't have been left upset.

It's irrelevant of how other companies run their business you weren't at one of those and reading your replies on here it's plain that you don't like or will accept being told no.

I don't think you're unreasonable for expecting it to be ok for your kids to sit quietly in a waiting area, if you were basing it on your previous nail salon experiences.
If you simply hadn't realised, and asked for a bit of leeway nicely, I don't think there was a need for the staff to be rude.
But that being said, even if they said it was ok for them to stay - iPads with no headphones is 100% unreasonable and I'd never dream of having anything with noise on in a spa! Kids programmes and games are SO ANNOYING. Public place - no noise.

So you're a bit unreasonable and they're a bit unreasonable. Lesson learned!

Hope you manage to reschedule

They seem perfectly polite from what OP has posted that they actually said.

She just didn’t want to hear “no”.

Not fair on your kids to regularly take them to nail appointment.

In this instance the staff said no and you continued to ask, that is rude. Perhaps other customers have been told no in the past and will be annoyed at exceptions being made. Perhaps other customer/staff dont want kids around, any beauty treatments i get are precious child free time, i like children but would be very disappointed if I went to a child free beautician/spa and kids were there.

I think it's a lesson learned op to always ring ahead and check. I'm a lone parent and have on occasion had to bring ds with me for hair appointments for example but I'm mindful of the vibe of the hairdressers (wouldn't attempt it in a fancier one) and I've always rang ahead to check it's ok for me to bring him even when I've been there before incase it's a busier day and they'll need the space. 99%of the time I aim to book for when he's in nursery and I use overtime/flexi or annual leave for my appointments.

You can't leave children of that age unattended in a reception, that's a total safeguarding red flag and God knows what could happen. Receptionist cannot be expected to babysit your children, they could have emergencies to respond to and then who watches your kids? It also means your kids are taking up seats in their waiting area which should be reserved for customers. Plus what's to stop your child turning the volume up again?

I think the owner has been defensive because you've argued with her after having dismissed and refused to listen to the receptionist who's already given you the correct information. Your behaviour in this scenario was quite entitled but no point dwelling, you'll know for again. And maybe it's a good excuse to book some child free time and treat yourself properly.

I would have been very annoyed if kids were allowed in.

I go to get away from kid talk.

Even worse that you obviously think it's ok to have their iPads turned down as low as possible.

So annoying and didn't want to take no for an answer and even considering complaining. Ridiculous.

You must be joking! They don’t even have headphones! The height of entitlement!

@Ellie1015

i disagree with that first statement tbh. It’s no hardship for them to wait for their mums appointment for an hour with their iPads and snacks. It’s only gonna be once every six weeks or so. And, It does children no harm whatsoever to see that their mother has wants and needs of their own and that the world doesn’t revolve around them, that sometimes they just need to tolerate doing something that’s not all about them. In fact it’s really good for them and prepares them for the real world.

It doesn't matter what they were going to be doing or how quiet they were or were not going to be. You were told the policy is no kids. You had to be told three or more times before you left. I am not surprised if they started getting blunt with you. You weren't listening to them when they were being kind.

Aside from that, poor kids being dragged round salons and spas on an seemingly regular basis.

I also don't want to interact with anyone else's kid if I am out and away from my own. I may still politely reply if they speak to me, but I do not want them to speak to me in the first place.

No, it doesn't prepare them for "the real world" , because in the real world some places are for adults and some are for children. In the real world there are restrictions. In the real world, when someone says no to a request, you don't plead or cry, you accept it like an adult.
In the real world you respect work spaces and make provision for your children elsewhere.

YABVU - and for your information, reception staff are not, and should not be, babysitters for other people's children!!!

The salon have been very gracious towards you by not requiring you to pay a cancellation fee for the appointment.
Definitely you were being unreasonable. You were told you could not have the children wait there listening with volume on or not. You can’t bring children there.
But let it go now and book somewhere else. You haven’t committed a crime, it’s a disagreement is all.

You don't have to- you chose to. Leg waxing and manicures aren't mandatory.

I have worked in, managed and been lucky enough to own a beauty business. Right the way up from spa girl, to beautician at a beauty salon, spa manager, clinic manager and my own little business. It’s very simple, we don’t like children on site for a multitude of reasons. I have my own children now and I’d never take them with me to an appointment because I know how much trouble it causes these establishments and their staff. It doesn’t matter how quiet your children would have been, they have to have very strict rules otherwise what they let one mum do, they will be expected to let another do and then another and before they know it the waiting area is a crèche. Parents ranged from having older well behaved children who would have sat quietly reading, right the way through to someone showing up for a massage 15 minutes late with her 1 year old and expecting someone to hold it while she had her treatment because “she has no childcare and needs this massage” people can get that entitled and have no understanding. So lots of establishments put a no child policy in place and stick to it rigidly. Generally nail bars are more lax on this and will allow kids, but most spa’s, city spa’s and beauty salons will have this in place. Stick to nail bars you know are fine with it if you have to take the kids.

"I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair."

Come off it, you were going for a nail treatment, not an essential medical procedure! You made a huge fuss. You were "holding back tears" and "begging" them probably break the law and invalidate their insurance, to have a completely unnecessary beauty treatment. This is a good definition of "making a fuss" which you were clearly doing big time!

You were told no and still asked 3 more times? No wonder they got annoyed.
You might think your kids watching iPads are not a problem, but the spa did.
They didn't charge you for a wasted appointment and many places would have.
If you're going to insist on taking your kids everywhere you need to be proactive and check first.
I never take my kids to a beauty salon, and wouldn't be impressed and kids coming with someone else honestly. No matter how good you swear they are

It's ridiculous to expect a business owner to accommodate two children per customer. The only people that should be there are clients spending money. I doubt you'd bring two adult non customers and expect them to be able to sit in spaces where customers need to be. So of course kids aren't allowed.

Yeah, YABVU. This is only acceptable if you’ve called ahead and asked and the salon agrees.

I dunno OP. It sounds like you got a bit naggy with them and they didn't have the time to keep going through the "no kids allowed" conversation with you.

Everyone is being a bit OTT on here though. Just leave it. It's not worth wasting anymore of your evening on this thread.

Nah I wouldn’t let my child breath in all those chemicals.

YABU. The spa is a no children zone. That’s it.

most people can tolerate a 5 minute conversation.

No, I don't even want a 5 second conversation in that situation! I would feel obliged to interact with someone else's kids because you know if they're there with them in what is usually an adult only environment then that's the sort of parent who's going to kick off if you object, they try to make you the villain, it's all "but my children are adorable, you must like them!"