Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

Take no for an answer. That got their backs up right there.

No, a spa isn't going to let kids in with you or sit in the reception area. Adults go there for relaxation, not to hear your kids on their iPad. And you don't make them use headphones so they're causing noise pollution in what should be a quiet space.

And a receptionist is NOT your babysitter. Nor are any of the people working there.

Do you really like being the example of entitled behaviour?

Your sister is right. I understand you being upset because you were looking forward to it but YABU.

This is why I have used walk-in nail bars for a long time, some places with ‘spa’ in the name seem to think they’re doing you a favour when they’re running a business. Women don’t have childcare on tap, they could have been more polite. You know where not to buy a voucher.

Exactly - most of us won't say anything, perhaps because we think that someone entitled enough to use any noisy device without headphones won't care what we have to say about it, and in some cases might even square up for a fight.

'If people can’t cope with a 5 minute chat with polite children then that’s their issue.'

This!!! I go to spas to get away from kids! I don't want to make small talk with kids while I'm trying to relax!

Do you understand that every mum I know would have been lovely and polite to your DC coming over for that five minute chat, but also that every one of them would be seriously pissed off at you, their mum, for allowing them to even be there, let alone interupt their precious child-free time.

you’d even turn the iPad down to low volume???? I have got second hand rage just reading this sentence.

Excellent work OP you've hit more froth generating bingo hits in one thread than I've seen anyone manage for ages

No, most women do not have childcare on tap. They make arrangements, which may cost them money. That's what most of us do, or have done, rather than expect others to modify their experience/working atmosphere in order to accommodate them.

I wasn’t expecting the receptionist to babysit.

I didn’t want to go into too much detail about the place as it’s outing giving a full description but I keep getting accused of this.

There is a reception and waiting area with an open area with nail stations. The girls could have sat in the waiting area in full view.

Then there is a corridor leading to another waiting area with treatment rooms for massages and other beauty services like waxing and facials so the chatting from the waiting area and people having nails done doesn’t interrupt treatments.

It was based on the nail area being separate that I assumed my girls could sit waiting but I didn’t expect anyone to watch them except me.

I hope that clears it up a bit.

Feel free to out them. Suspect it would be good for business!

I imagine their insurance doesn't cover having under 18s on the premises- so they aren't allowed in. Nail gels contain hazardous chemicals, UV lamps are a burns risk and presumably they will also be doing waxing - possibly hot waxing - so multiple potential hazards. If your kids had sustained any injury you could have sued and closed down the business - no sensible owner would take that risk, rightly so. The local council may put that clause on their licence as well.

Yes, it clears up the fact that you assumed.
That's really very entitled, don't you think?
Please listen to pp on here. Women pay for treatments to feel good and relax. They have probably paid for childcare.
Please think about this.

I think you’re somewhat missing the point and thinking that other posters are.

What’s most interesting is this… You expect people to repeatedly tell you they don’t like something before you’ll listen. Whether that’s interacting with children at a spa, allowing children in a spa, volume of an iPad, and so on. But you don’t like when they do this. You think the staff should have been kind. They were kind, they told you the rules and you kept mithering. And then started getting upset.

If someone had said, “I don’t want to talk to kids” or “iPads shouldn’t EVER be used with volume in public” you’d have called them rude too.

I think it’s possible you rely on first being oblivious, then pushy, then teary, to get your way. It’s very effective. My mum does similar. But if you do this, it’s you being rude. You should attempt to understand and ask about the rules, and then follow them. And don’t assume that your intrusion into other people’s lives is harmless unless they complain. Just don’t intrude if you can help it. Whether that’s interacting noise from iPads or kids in a spa.

A walk in nail bar is poles apart from a spa. Spa’s generally have age restrictions and are considered a service for adults. Walk in nail bars tend to have lots of space in waiting areas and are a much less formal environment.

They don’t think they’re doing you a favour. They think that are offering an optional, non-mandatory service. If you are not in the position to use that service because you don’t have childcare then you don’t use it. Her nails weren’t about to fall off or self combust, there was no urgency in the situation, she just wanted her nails done. Unfortunately she wasn’t in a position to get them done because she didn’t have childcare. That is her problem to solve. I solve it by going to these kind of places while my child is at school or with her dad, sometimes that means I take annual leave from work because I have to arrange these kind of treats around a full time job too. That’s what people do, they find a way to make their schedule work, they don’t expect everyone else to capitulate to their demands.

unfair it might be but i do not equate beauty places such as spas nail bars hairdressers as places for children to wait. i like to go there with other adults present and relax. yes you may be used to leaving them while you get your treatment but its not fair on others as not all kids are well behaved so if they let one person they would have to let them all.

You were pushy. You were told no several times and three times you tried to negotiate an exception for your children.

You did have a choice. Having your nails done is not a life or death issue. Asking at the time of booking would have avoided this situation. You could have booked another time or asked someone to look after your children for a couple of hours.

You do come across as quite entitled and totally unaware of how you might impact others; in what world do you think other people want to listen to whatever your children are watching on their iPad. If you can't be bothered with earphones leave the noise making devices at home.

Hearing the tinny squeaks of kid's ipads is not just unrelaxing, it's fucking enraging. Even if 'oh it's just low' it cuts through everything. To people who aren't immunised against that sound by having small children, it's genuine torture.

So you are very very unreasonable to have the volume up at all, even low, in any public place whatsoever.

That goes for anyone who takes any public space hostage by forcing others to listen to what you, and only you, want to listen to.

I honestly think if there were ever a civil war in the UK it would be between people who think about others, and people who don't - or do, but then think fuckit I am more important than those cunts.

Only because what I posted has been twisted and taken out of context.

There are other responses from people who see my point of view and have been in similar situations but everyone focused on the iPad as though I was planning on having it in a spa treatment room on full volume whilst my daughters chatter their ears off and I’m in a separate room having my nails done!

If you read all my replies you’ll see that it was other posters generating “the frothing” by exaggerating the situation.

You know some lovely mums, evidently.

I can’t stand random children speaking to me when I can’t get away from them-a nail salon would be precisely that kind of place.

I can also pretty much guarantee the nail tech doesn’t enjoy it either.

Torture. Taking public spaces hostage. Civil war. The C-bomb. Totally reasonable response to a conversation about a nail salon.

Personally I think the moral of the story is you need to be more organised about your nail appointments so you don't have to take your children. The fact your nails are to long isn't the spas problem, you sound like someone who has them done regularly so you know when they will need doing again.
The nail place doesn't know your children, how would they know if they will sit quietly or not? I currently have acrylic nails and wouldn't of dreamt of making my children sit through that when they were younger, every time i go in a nail bar it seems to take forever. There quite within there rights to say no and they offered to book you another appointment.

No, it's because you appear to be so entitled. That is all.