Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

You sound entitled and mard. They said no kids. You kept pushing and they said no again. Why would you complain you were in the wrong

If people can’t cope with a 5 minute chat with polite children then that’s their issue.

You have GOT to be having a laugh?! I ensure my child has childcare so that I can go to the spa / beautician's and have some well deserved ME time. I don't want to SEE children, never mind listen to low level kid's programmes or have conversations with other people's children. How very selfish and utterly self-absorbed of you! I am not there to entertain YOUR children.

It could be their business insurance doesn't cover them for under 18s being in the spa area. If there was to be an incident then who would take responsibility? Rules are often in place for a reason, even if they dont seem fair or reasonable.
The staff should have remained calm and not been aggressive towards you, but it is incredibly frustrating when you have explained your policy/rules to someone and they still argue back expecting you to bend the rules just this once! Its never just this once and its not only you they will have had this request from, hence having to draw a line in the sand somewhere.

Agree.
As much as I can see your POV OP, if there is a no children rule, then it needs to be upheld, irrespective of how good / quiet your children are.
I am a parent and grandparent and am heavily involved with them but if I went to a hotel spa, I would want some child free time.

@OrlaMcCool - @HopefulBeliever said this - ”Saying you would turn the volume down or off implies that originally you were going to let them keep it on and disturb everyone else there.” - which is a very good point.

Letting your kids play their iPads at any volume in a public place is thoughtless and selfish - and I’m clearly not the only person who thinks so.

This, please just don't let them use their i pads without headphones in public full stop.

This reminds me of the super soaker thread…

It’s def on its way to being a classic

No-one finds your children as charming as you do.
Receptionists are not child minders.

I don’t want polite chat with your children. I don’t want them to compliment me on my nail colour or anything else.

I can absolutely cope with a 5 minute chat with a child, I like children. I don’t really like them in my space when getting my nails done, my hair done, having my lunch. I’m sorry but I don’t find your young children fascinating and engaging.

Once I had an appointment and a lady booked in for treatment in the back, brought her child. The child waited in reception, but moved to the chair next to me. She wouldn't stop talking and her ipad was loud. I wanted to scream as I booked to have my hair done as a treat away from the kids, only to get an annoying kid next to me! You are bring massively unreasonable. Stop bringing your kids with you everywhere! Sometimes it's inappropriate.

I went to the “spa” entrance to head to the reception area and said I had an appointment, I said “I hope you don’t mind my girls sitting quietly and waiting do you?”

The nail technician said “sorry but no kids are allowed in here so you will need to change your appointment”

I said that they wouldn’t be any bother and would sit quietly and have waited for me at my other appointments.

She repeated no kids were allowed and to come back another time.

I asked if they could just make an exception once and apologised and said I was sorry for not realising they didn’t allow children but they aren’t toddlers and would be quiet and said I had a special occasion and was really hoping I’d get my nails done for it.

The owner got involved and said I’d been told their policy and needed to accept it and make another appointment and was stood in a way like she was blocking the door as though I was going to push in or something! She had a very sharp tone and was acting like I’d been arguing or aggressive when I was just asking.

But I accept I should have just left it and not kept on asking after being told no. I just think they could have shown a bit more understanding it’s clear from these responses that I was wrong and I’ve said I will apologise.

Agreed.

It would be a massive safeguarding risk for them to sit unsupervised in reception. I can’t believe you would request that! If the receptionist was on the phone/ left the desk and your unattended kids wandered off/ left the building/ fell in a swimming pool you’d go ballistic. Look after your own kids in suitable environments. Not spas.

If people can’t cope with a 5 minute chat with polite children then that’s their issue.

No the issue is yours! If I have managed to get out child free I am certainly not wasting my time entertaining someone else’s child. I will politely ignore.

Sorry I’m a mother so I get the juggle but you are being unreasonable. People go there to relax and it’s not fair to have kids around. I go to a local nail salon and people always have kids in there listening to iPads, screaming etc. It’s incredibly annoying when I’ve paid for an appointment to try to relax. They couldn’t take the risk even if your kids are quiet. Not everyone wants kids hanging around a spa.

They were not rude.

you behaved badly.

I can't believe you'd have the nerve to go back. I imagine you have the reputation of being the woman who brings children and expects the receptionist to supervise them while they run around annoying customers and trying to talk to them. Good for them for taking a stand and being ready for you this time.

I'm sure you knew it was adults only but thought you were too special for the rules to apply.

By “show a bit more understanding” you mean make an exception, don’t you? The receptionist said no three times before the manager had to get involved!

You cried because you couldn't get your nails done?

It could absolutely have been handled better by you not disgracing yourself and upsetting your kids with begging after being told no.

Doesn't it annoy you when your kids whine after you've given them an answer?

This stood out for me too. I would be very polite to a child chatting in the salon but would actually be very pissed off. People do not enjoy chatting to your small kids, they just have manners and don’t want to upset the child.

OK sweet lord after 11 pages op here are your lessons (show your sister am sure she will agree )
1 ring ahead to check if children are allowed before appointment
2 get heapdphone for your kids if they are going to use ipads in public bo matter where you are
3 if you are allowed to bring you children with you next appointment DO NOT let them wander around to other customers even if its only for 2 minutes
there are about between 5 beauty and hairdresers on the main street of my local town evey single one of them do not allow children to wait. one has even reduced the waiting area to the tiniest part ever as they don't want anyone hanging around on it.

It’s an adult space. Women want to relax there, not feel that they’re being watched by children who may not behave well.

And you didn’t have headphones for your DC watching things on the iPad! You’re very unreasonable for that alone.

I know people are focusing on the iPad volume issue, but the fact you let them have it on a low volume in a nail bar would drive me insane. I don’t want to listen to someone else’s tv shows, their games or music, any more than I want to listen to someone’s entire conversation when they’re on loud speaker.
A beauty therapy salon, spa or nail bar is somewhere I would think most people go to relax. I have my nails done rarely, and wouldn’t particularly want to engage with someone’s children about my nail colour or anything else. Me not wanting to do that really isn’t a me problem.

Perhaps the owner was sharp with you, or maybe she heard the fact that despite being told your children couldn’t stay, you pressed ahead with asking again. She was advocating for her staff, who were doing their job.