Been made to feel like a outcast at work :(

[Thelily]

I started a new job on an NHS ward about 2 months ago. I haven’t had any other trouble settling in roles, but I am auADHD so I suppose I could potentially be seen as a bit shy?

The ward atmosphere is unlike any other ward I’ve been on. I will walk in at the start of my shift and say hi/good morning etc, and no one will reply. Whenever I ask a question to any of the staff they act like it’s a big inconvenience and will roll their eyes. When I walk on the ward, they will stare at me (after I say hello) until I walk down the whole corridor. I feel like I’m not liked, which is fine, but it’s undermining my confidence.

I’ve still got friends from another ward I worked on, so I meet them for lunch (when I get one) but I’m not sure if this is just compounding me feeling isolated with the current team I work with?

A few people do speak to me during the shift, but I feel very isolated and lonely. My manager is only in 2 days a week, and on days they’re not in, I sit largely on my own with a few different appointments with patients across the day.

My manager has said she thinks I’m doing well but “don’t be scared to share your opinions of your patients in the team meetings, you are quite reserved about doing so”. I am reserved here because I know whatever I say will get eye rolls.

Is this normal ward working? I don’t expect best friends, but I am feeling so disheartened and actually dread going into work

I’m a nurse in a non clinical role now, but i think NHS wards are very toxic places to work. I’ve had mixed experiences my first ward when I qualified was awful I felt really unsupported. I stayed there just under 12 months the manager never knew my name! And I found some staff really rude I remember getting home and crying after my first week. As some people were really rude clicky, not being team players, bitching. Somebody ate/threw away my lunch too! However after some time settling in I made a few friends. The last ward I worked on I made some great friends and was such a good team. I do find it odd in a caring profession people can be so awful. I think sometimes it does take sometime to get to know people and settle in. Hopefully things will get better however if doesn’t personally I’d look for another job, you spend a lot of time at work. Nothing worse than dreading going in.

Re :care homes . This is my life just now. I honestly feel your pain OP. ❤️

It won't get better. Resign and make sure you have an exit interview where you tell the truth about your reason for leaving

Did you get the job that one of their friends was a shoe in for? That’s exactly what happens to the new starter in that situation. Or, they could just be the type of group who dont like newbies. Either way, it’s not acceptable. The manager is your first stop but if you don’t feel like anything is changing once you’ve done that, then go higher.

if you don’t feel comfortable doing that, your trust should have “Freedom to Speak” champion type people, or something equivalent. Whichever way you choose to go, I wish you the best of luck

Erm.... I was sticking up for OP?!

"She needs to learn to deal with situations like this as she will come across them again and again and she can’t keep running away…..

She doesn't "need to learn". Life is too short. It's not her fault, not her problem, and you can't fix a workplace culture (be it bitchiness, substandard work, crap H+S practices) by yourself especially if you're not the boss. It's the whole wrestling with a pig / playing chess with a pigeon scenario. Zero point.

"as a lot of people up thread have mentioned, bitchy nurses like this exist on every ward "
Literally nobody said that. Lots of people have experienced one or two crap environments in their whole working lives, with lots of lovely cohesive teams in between.

OP doesn't "keep running away"- she said that she has had no problems fitting into workplaces before and has never experienced a ward like this before.

I know you were, but it is honestly so difficult to make eye contact all the time for alot of autistic people. I end up getting a migraine if I do it for too long. I am just worried that OP will get burnout , so I feel she needs to keep a diary and get the union involved for advice if things escalate.

"She needs to learn to deal with situations like this as she will come across them again and again and she can’t keep running away…..

I started a weekend job in the NHS (cleaner). Within the first weekend I was there, I was pulled into the office with a supervisor and manager for not "engaging enough" with my colleagues.
In our rest room, they would just talk about sex. I got a job there because I was dating a porter at the time an he got me an interview etc. They asked my name, and about our sex life!
It was all women too, before anyone says it was a toxic male environment.

I’ve not worked on an NHS ward so no idea whether this would be considered unusual but it would generally be very odd elsewhere.
it must be very difficult, no one likes to feel excluded, these people are either completely unaware it’s being perceived in that way or are exceptionally rude and unprofessional.
I’d look to leave if I were you, don’t be miserable for anyone.
I’m getting quite cantankerous as I get older and I’d be sitting in the meeting ready to put them on the spot and ask if they’d like to share the reason for their eye rolling. Sometimes these fuckers need called out.

Your colleagues sound horrid and strangely immature, like high school bullies. Maybe they were hoping someone in particular would get the position and resent you for it.
I don't know enough about the NHS to understand if you can get a transfer easily but I wouldn't be wasting my time on them.

I would honestly look at NHS jobs and find another one. In the meantime, just try and do your job to the best of your abilities, if you haven't been given enough supervision or don't feel confident performing certain tasks then email your manager and let them know, not because I expect them to do anything about it, but it does provide a paper trail.
A couple of other things you could do is contact the following people;

1. A professional nurse advocate - they will listen to your concerns and help you figure out a way forward. There should be several in your trust, ask your friends if they know of someone who is doing this role currently.
2. If you don't feel you have had enough support/supervision in your role, could you ask for help from one of the trust practice educators ?

I am not suggesting the above because I think you cannot do the job, but sometimes it is useful to get other people on board and the above tend to be useful allies when it comes to toxic environments

I would just stop saying morning, try and speak up in the meetings (I know its easier said than done) keep looking for another job if it stays the same.

Sounds horrific and similar to an NHS job I had a few years ago. Some truly nasty people led to a nasty atmosphere. Blame game, bad management, unprofessional behaviour including door slamming, shouting and pen-throwing. Passing on messages about patients with blocked catheters (urgent issue!) elicited eye rolls and bad language. Didn't feel fixable so I left after a few months as it was bad for my health.

What makes them then caring to the public???

Don't be the mean girl. The OP already has enough of those to deal with. She is here looking for support and advice and clearly distressed about the situation. There’s no need for you to pile on and make matters worse.

OP, in your shoes I would call them out - ‘Mary, why are you rolling your eyes there?’ ‘Can you say that again, Mavis? I can’t hear you when you whisper under your breath’, but if that’s not for you then you should consider moving on. Do you want to remain in nursing?

Apart from iam not a nurse, this could have been written by me, it's the same where I work, very small team, 2 full timers...very clicky, iam part time. Plus the mother and daughter owners of the place. I've been there nearly 2.5 years, it's never got any better, shitty passive aggressive comments, whispering, clearly talking about me, the 2 full timers never like the 3rd member of staff, they make no secret they hated the lady I replaced, and made it miserable for her so she left
With it being a small family business, no HR depth, I have spoken to the daughter owner, who spoke to them, which has made it worse, they ignore me now, so I again spike to the daughter owner about now they totally blank me, she replied 'what do you expect, you made a complaint '
I really feel for you OP it's awful, I dread going to work

How toxic! If grownups behave like bullies, we don’t have a chance in h@ell with kids at school who are probably learning to be horrible from their parents.

i find that in the workplace the tone is set from the top. If managers and those in charge are nasty, this trickles down. When they are positive and supportive, again this truckles down.

whatever happened to kindness?

This sounds like an elderly wars I worked in, not in the NHS but in Canada.
Used to walk in and say "morning" to complete silence, no support, and horrible HCSW's who were in with the bricks and ruled the roost. I remember crying down the phone most lunchtimes to my ex, I lasted 4 months before handing in my notice with no job to go to I just knew I couldn't stay.
Funnily enough the staff seemed to warm to me a bit when I was working my notice but not enough to make me stay. These places need strong management to change the culture which rarely happens.

That's awful. If they treat colleagues like this, how are they treating patients? So much for a caring profession. I imagine working for the NHS is a tough job anyway, and this would make it worse. My friend is a nurse and very close and friendly with her colleagues, which is how I'd think it should be.

I had a feeling it will be the NHS when I saw the title. It's can be very toxic. Start looking for other jobs.

It sounds like they feel threatened by you for some reason. There could have been office politics going on before you were hired or something to do with your role. I would keep working anyway but maybe seek out the less horrible of the bunch and get to know them. Maybe the others will come round with time. I was in a job where this happened. The group was already really clicky when I started and seemed to have no interest in including someone new. Another job offer came up so I left. Maybe give it a chance first though

Your colleagues are bullies. Nothing to do with you - the problem is with them. Nasty people.

I used to be a nurse and this sort of behaviour is very common. Some wards were worse than others for the cliques and bitchiness but I've definitely worked in places where people would blank you when you said hello to them etc. It's one if the many reasons I don't work in healthcare anymore as I couldn't stand the toxic culture.

It's great you're doing well. And you have your patients to talk to in the meantime!

@Thelily

It isn't a form of bullying, it is bullying
The eye rolling and ignoring is harassment
It is also potentially disability discrimination.

You could raise a grievance but they will stick together like shit to a blanket and there will be no evidence.

Start looking for another job. Request a F2F exit interview and ci firm yiur feedback, with regret, in writing.

It isn't you, they are a bunch of nasty bastards. Move out, move up. Don't let it make you ill

Very best of luck - don't let them break you.