Been made to feel like a outcast at work :(

[Thelily]

I started a new job on an NHS ward about 2 months ago. I haven’t had any other trouble settling in roles, but I am auADHD so I suppose I could potentially be seen as a bit shy?

The ward atmosphere is unlike any other ward I’ve been on. I will walk in at the start of my shift and say hi/good morning etc, and no one will reply. Whenever I ask a question to any of the staff they act like it’s a big inconvenience and will roll their eyes. When I walk on the ward, they will stare at me (after I say hello) until I walk down the whole corridor. I feel like I’m not liked, which is fine, but it’s undermining my confidence.

I’ve still got friends from another ward I worked on, so I meet them for lunch (when I get one) but I’m not sure if this is just compounding me feeling isolated with the current team I work with?

A few people do speak to me during the shift, but I feel very isolated and lonely. My manager is only in 2 days a week, and on days they’re not in, I sit largely on my own with a few different appointments with patients across the day.

My manager has said she thinks I’m doing well but “don’t be scared to share your opinions of your patients in the team meetings, you are quite reserved about doing so”. I am reserved here because I know whatever I say will get eye rolls.

Is this normal ward working? I don’t expect best friends, but I am feeling so disheartened and actually dread going into work

It’s definitely not all wards, but a significant minority of wards have really awful cultures. And often massive turnover and terrible performance metrics.

OP if you haven’t had any problems elsewhere, it is them not you. Start looking again, changing a ward culture is next to impossible unless you literally sack everyone and start again (which I have actually known happen, because the nursing leadership were so toxic they were also abusive to patients and they all got struck off).

Or maybe they just haven’t worked on as many wards as us? I’ve worked on some perfectly lovely wards in my time. The toxic ones were absolutely horrendous and unsafe places, so they stuck in my mind, but plenty of wards are well-run and friendly places.

I think some of your advice is correct but do you know it it is so difficult to read people when you are autistic ? And I feel they can use thing like not smiling enough against a person. Similar stuff has happened to me. I bet OP is exhausted by all this crap. And I bet OP is actually a really caring person who is just trying to do her best for the patients on the wards without these daft mind games. Please OP, join a trade union, if you are not in one already and keep a diary. I am so sorry this happening to you xxx

I would've thought communication and camaraderie would be essential to your job, for patient info and to keep you guys going on a 12+ hour shift!

Have a look for another job imo. Something is deeply strange on that ward and things don't tend to change quickly at the NHS. Good luck and be happy!

OP my DiL joined the NHS and was made to feel exactly the same way. In some workplaces there’s a toxic culture from established staff to those who are new. My DiL could have written your post, with the addition that a couple of staff are making her life a misery with indirect bullying. She fell pregnant around 15 months into the job and the bullying got worse - she was also not risk assessed when she declared the pregnancy. Thankfully she is now on maternity leave awaiting the birth but is undecided as to whether she will go back and considering her options as to whether she will sue for constructive dismissal as she doesn’t think she can face returning to the same environment. I really feel for you, but the only thing I can advise is that you need to speak up for yourself more and be assertive. Hopefully things will improve.

You poor thing, it definitely sounds like them, not you.

Personally I'd call them out on anything obvious, in a cheery outgoing way. Or show concern, like 'gosh is everything ok, you just totally looked through me then' when they ignore you. Stop, look them in the eye and say it. Or if they eye roll, call them out, ask them why they are rolling their eyes when you just spoke. Confidently, with an air of confusion so that you appear unbothered by it and don't feed them more.

I’ve just left a job like that . I tried being super nice and then ignoring it but decided I was feeling so miserable not sleeping etc and losing confidence so left . Life is too short to feel this way and they were utterly utterly horrible people I’ve walked away from x

This is a form of bullying………they are deliberately NOT including you and also making you feel unwelcome.
As a pp says, be more assertive and repeat the good morning greeting if they continue to not reciprocate. They are acting like spoilt children……”you’re not playing in our gang” mentality!!!! What a way to run a hospital ward!!!
If matters don’t improve then mention to your manager but do keep a note of everything that makes you feel uncomfortable as you might need evidence further down the line. I speak from experience

Bullying is rife on the wards by many accounts. I'm so sorry.

Get out!! There are some really toxic behaviour on too many nhs wards throughout the UK. If your not feeling it I would leave. This type of environment will seriously damage your mh before long.
Leave

I encountered a few wards like this when I was a very young student nurse and it really upset me. It was only when I made a passing comment to a fellow student that I was considering not returning after my weekend back home that my tutors became involved, and suddenly those bitches couldn’t do enough for me.
Now I’m through menopause I wouldn’t hesitate to call them out in the manner that a PP said, but I fully understand how you feel.
I would take a transfer or new post if one comes up. It can be a very challenging environment if there is an established clique.
I hope you find something that makes you happier OP xx

Can you try being more assertive. E.g. carrying on saying good morning? Until someone replies with a wide smile. Ask the eye rollers if they have something they wanted to say. Tell your manager this is the unfriendliest team you've ever worked in.

I was going to say how horrible this is, but then you bumped the thread after nobody replied inside of a whole 7 minutes!

I know you're talking about the NHS but it sounds like every care home I've worked in. Then they had the audacity to say they can't get/keep workers. I've noticed it's usually stemming from one or two people and the rest just go along with it to keep from being targeted. I know a few nurses who are the same, pointless attitude and entitlement. Sorry you're going through this and I hope something happens to improve it.

Perhaps the timing of you starting work is when they are with patients so cannot say hello.
Tey eating lunch in the common area and when you walk on the staff room say hello, does anyone what a coffee. People soon come round

How did your day go today, were they at it again?

This happened to me once when I moved to a different trust, I stuck it for one shift and that was more than enough! I went back to my old trust on temporary staffing until I found another permanent contract that I wanted.

This is a "them" problem, not a "you" problem, OP.

The stupidest people I ever worked with, and the most toxic/bullying environment, was in the NHS. It was horribly bitchy. The only way to deal with it was to get out.

Find another job as soon as you can, even if it just means finding another hospital to work at. I think the trouble is that the way things are run, you only need one bad apple to poison the whole workspace. You might have better luck in another hospital, but don't crush your soul trying to make this work.

when you walk on the staff room say hello, does anyone what a coffee.

Given what the OP said about the staff and how they have already treated her I would not do this, it’s just giving them another opportunity to ignore her.

What’s your point?

This. Just left a job like this. Utterly miserable fossils that get joy in seeing people leave.

Life is far too short for this shit. I would suggest leaving ASAP. You deserve better 🙂

I’ve heard that maternity wards can be the worst for this. Give yourself a deadline, see if it gets better then move and be honest about why you’re moving.

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