To think holidays rarely live up to expectations

[Tangerinetortoise]

Love the idea of holidays. Also try to keep expectations realistic. Always looking forward to break from mundane routine.

BUT holidays always seem to exhaust me on every level. So much effort. So much overstimulation. Someone is always sick. I find it hard to sleep well away from my own bed, so am either tired and crabby, or taking more sleeping pills than I would like to.

I know this is a first world problem and holidays are by no means a necessity, but AIBU?! And I want to have great family time and give my DC a variety of experiences, but I usually find the whole thing more stressful than enjoyable. 😩

It can definitely be the case

this year though we paid through the nose for a properly nice holiday and it was 100% worthwhile

other trips have just been a big stress

Oh that does sound miserable. Being ill on holiday is horrible..In general, for me it's the other way round. Before going on holiday I'm always stressed abd wish I wasn't going because I have too much work to do but then once I'm on the actual holiday I love it.

Yes, I do think it’s the DC who are the issue! (And the illnesses.)

I did go away with DH for a long weekend last year and it was bliss.

I 100% relate to this! ADHD in close quarters is soooo difficult.

Have you booked a holiday for next year?

if not, try something different from camping!

I’ve never had a holiday I haven’t enjoyed!

But I try to make realistic expectations. right now we have a toddler and another on the way - we decided a UK budget holiday would be a better choice than spending thousands on going abroad and having to try and entertain/supervise a toddler and baby by the pool in the heat all day, all sharing a bedroom unless we paid an extra premium for a place with extra rooms.
So we’ve paid £350 for a week in a caravan a few hours drive away with a soft play and pool on site, and zoo’s/kids attractions nearby, so we can take it easy when we need to, toddler gets his own room, we can self cater when convenient, but we’ve also spent so little on the accommodation that we have plenty of spare holiday funds for eating out and treating ourselves. Then when the children are older we can go for AI type holidays when they’ll feel a bit more relaxed.

Thanks for laying on the guilt. 🙄

Huh?

That is how you describe your holiday… maybe reread your own Op

BUT holidays always seem to exhaust me on every level. So much effort. So much overstimulation. Someone is always sick. I find it hard to sleep well away from my own bed, so am either tired and crabby, or taking more sleeping pills than I would like to.

you wrote this
so how am I laying on the gullt by saying it does indeed sound awful!!

have you booked for next year?

Adjust your expectations! I don’t think I’ve ever not enjoyed a holiday but I’m a naturally optimistic person that makes the best of things no matter what 😄. Also I don’t do AI or beach holidays ever - not my thing 😄

Yes, but the implication of what you are saying is that I’m ridiculous for not enjoying holidays when my DC are those ages, when I have already said that I am feeling bad and guilty that I don’t enjoy them more!

My kids are ND and don't like being away from home, one also has AFRID. So when we do go anywhere it has to be somewhere in the UK, and we will spend most of our time in the accommodation as after a few hours out they will need downtime. It's pretty depressing how crap our holidays are and I don't know if it's worth the cost.

I know I do need to adjust my expectations. Would be lovely to have a holiday from the tears and tantrums, but as long as the DC are there, that is the reality!

Goodness Op, you need a holiday!

saying 5 and 9 are pretty decent ages to holiday is not trying to make you feel guilt or shit.

Have you booked for next year?!

Ever heard the saying "wherever you go, there you are?" A holiday is still you and your life, just in a different location. There will still be disappointing
days, days where you are tired or ratty, rhings that aren't as good or fun as you had anticipated. Don't put so much pressur on it.

I apologise if I misunderstood you!

(oops wrong post, see below)

Not yet

If only I could have a holiday from myself! 🤪

I apologise if I misunderstood you!

(I quoted wrong post above, but meant to reply to you)

Traditional holidays were definitely not my thing until I had kids . Then I felt I owed it to them and embraced the experience for their sake . Travel has become so tedious these days with security and hours hanging around ugly airports . It would be great to go 1st class all the way.

Variety of types - Eurocamp-style mostly. Because plenty of things to keep DC entertained

There's your answer
Camping and self catering are not my idea of a holiday. Uncomfortable and hard work.
Could you afford a hotel? My DC were great company at that age as long as there was a warm pool, sea and endless food.
Illness will ruin the very best holiday though.

We can’t afford holidays abroad and the last UK holiday we had was not enjoyable. It was cold and wet, in June and the holiday place was cold too.

For me, flying and the airport experience has been the kiss of death too. It's all so horrible and stressful now.

I flew (for work) out of a small UK airport 8 years ago and it was fine. Flight was at a reasonable time. The airport wasn't crowded. Even the departure gate wasn't over full. The flight itself was OK as well. Not over full and quite low key.

The contrast between that and the experience of being battery-farmed cattle through Heathrow, Gatwick, Edinburgh. Not to mention the hell of overseas airports. Really, there is no way I'm paying to be treated like a piece of meat.

Seems that you are doing holidays wrong then

why so much effort?
why so much overstimulated? I mean that should be easy to control!

what types of holiday have you tried?

we had simple in uk holiday cottages, one “thing” a day and plenty of chill time, strict rotation on who chose the “thing” , upfront budget per day so that the rules of the week were well understood

edit - are you “over entertaining” the kids ?