Fed up of splitting the bill with larger friends

[Foodie41]

There are four of us in our friendship group and we go out for dinner every other month or so, splitting the bill equally between us.

A couple of my friends are larger ladies and they often order slightly more food than myself and another friend.

With prices having risen sharply, we are now noticing the cost of things more closely and starting to feel a bit aggrieved that we are paying for food we aren’t eating.

Would it be rude of my friend and I to suggest we don’t split the bill moving forward? I just don’t want it to be awkward as I think it will be obvious why that suggestion is being made.

I eat significantly less now im fatter then I ever did when i was skinny thanks to age and hypothyroidism. Someone being overweight doesn't always mean they eat more so that extra information you gave about their weight is irrelevant. If you want to pay for your own food then do so

Reasonable to split a bill by what you each order, yes.

Unreasonable to fat shame as others have said.

I am a ‘larger’ lady, last night at dinner my stick thin friend ordered a side when I didn’t. I have one friend who will always order a dessert because she has a super sweet tooth, I never do because I don’t have a sweet tooth. It’s got nothing to do with size and you didn’t need to include their size to make a point around what is fair in terms of who pays for what.

Yeah, prob safer if hadn't mentioned their size!

I'm bigger than my better half, he's tall and lanky. He eats twice as much as I do daily and is a huge fan of fatty meats and junk food. Whereas I am vegetarian, cannot eat too much in one sitting because it causes physical pain so our meals out normally mean 1 for me, a starter, main and side for my partner.
Some people just eat a lot, some people use going out as a reason to go for it.

You are the only one to misinterpret and get it wrong. Your refusal to acknowledge this with good grace has made you look a bit silly.

Honestly I just love MN some times. It's just so funny.

OP please can you report back and tell us how the conversation went?

Yoy dudng ask.

you said ‘I’ll wait for the apology’

completely different.

And in apoite and avedemic circles, if one has been misunderstood, one clarifies instead of putting the entire onus on the recipient.

One most certainly doesn't smugly claim ‘I’ll wait for the apology’

See the difference? (I doubt it)

Again, enjoy the piety.

And in apoite and avedemic circles, if one has been misunderstood, one clarifies instead of putting the entire onus on the recipient.

It's just MNs though, so as pp said no shame in acknowledging you made a mistake...

Is there something wrong with your keyboard?

I have done this for many years by saying at the start of the meal - or possibly when the occasion was arranged that I would be asking for a separate bill and keeping a careful tally. Its a long time since I have drunk in pubs but I gave up contributing to a "kitty" or buying rounds which never works out fairly. As a single Ive been stiffed in the past buying rounds for couples while they only bought me one per couple in return.If asked what I am drinking I say "No thanks, I prefer to buy my own" without explanation. No one has ever commented or argued back.

The COL is a perfect reason to watch your budget carefully and not subsidise others. It has nothig to do with how slim or otherwise they may be.

Just say you’re strapped for cash and will only pay for what you eat. A friend of mine said exactly this the last time we ate out, no one batted an eyelid. I’ve also done it when I’ve wanted to order something more expensive and there’s no way I’d be comfortable doing that if we were splitting the bill equally. It’s not a big deal at all.

🤣🤣🤣 Seriously? I reckon you’re on the wind up.

My BIL over orders when we eat out and ends up taking a bunch of stuff home, some of which he hasn’t even touched. He’ll order maybe three starters, then all these side orders he doesn’t need. Nobody wants to split the bill with him, the cheeky bastard. And he’s not even ‘larger’ (well, maybe a slight beer gut …)

Why on earth didn’t you say something?

I couldn’t have kept my mouth shut. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep that night if I had let people take the piss out of me like that.
It’s fine splitting the bill when there’s a disparity of a couple of pounds but £36 difference- these people are not your friends.
Honestly - why did you let them do this??

Nope, just my eyes.

Nice dodge.

Enjoy yoir piety

Nothing to do with "dodge". What did you mean by that? Perhaps you could explain rather than have me think you might be accusing me of something else I haven't said or done

I already explained. Becsuse I made some sorlling mistakes youd response was ‘is there something wrong with your keyboard’

Off you jog.

Wow the doubling down is 😮

@spicetails Why can't you admit you made a mistake, its really not that big a deal.

I have no intention of "jogging" anywhere.

Maybe this is the OP

By mentioning their size in conjunction with the amount they order.

This suggests, even if only at a subconscious level, that you consider them greedy.

Clearly viewpoints can differ. I didn’t think she did, you think she did. Everyone is entitled to their own viewpoints.

Every other month? So, six times a year and the difference is likely to be less than a tenner each. I’m sorry to hear you’re so poor that you can’t even manage that.

Yes I think you should all bring your own weighing scales, get on them at the beginning of the meal and again at the end and split the the bill accordingly and the one who weighs most at the end has to stand on the table and shout I'm a fat cunt and pay for the tip hth.

There was no need at all to point out that the fatties eat more - which is exactly what you did. Yes. You did.

But as for splitting the bill, of course you are not being unreasonable to want to only pay for the food you eat. Sort it out as you please.

I'd probably avoid pointing out that the fatties eat more than you though.

YABU for the blatant fat shaming your friends size and the amount of food they eat is not relevant if you no longer want to split the bill that’s fine but find a better reason than you 2 are fat and eat more and it’s not fair to the skinny people to pay for it.