Fed up of splitting the bill with larger friends

[Foodie41]

There are four of us in our friendship group and we go out for dinner every other month or so, splitting the bill equally between us.

A couple of my friends are larger ladies and they often order slightly more food than myself and another friend.

With prices having risen sharply, we are now noticing the cost of things more closely and starting to feel a bit aggrieved that we are paying for food we aren’t eating.

Would it be rude of my friend and I to suggest we don’t split the bill moving forward? I just don’t want it to be awkward as I think it will be obvious why that suggestion is being made.

No I'm not. I was initially agreeing with the person who advised against raising the person's weight. Surely the tone of my response was obvious? She then chose to make me the focus of a personal attack.

She absolutely fat shamed

I'm fat but am always the one that has 2 starters and no pudding, as I don't like eating huge amounts in one sitting anymore. Bloody goady nonsense.

@ilovesooty Sorry! I meant to tag @spicetails as they confused what you were saying!

“Heads up fatties, I’ll be watching my pockets as much as I watch my calories so don’t think you’ll be chuffing the chub up on my penny!” That should do it.

It was completely obvious that you were not serious.

As you please. I was initially agreeing with you. Not my fault if you misinterpreted, delivered a personal attack and refused to acknowledge it.

Not unreasonable to simply pay for what you order. I generally don't like splitting it because what if someone wants an alcoholic drink which is more expensive for example or an extra side. Just paying for your own stops any resentment that you or someone else has had to pay more than what they would have otherwise.

No problem! At least someone else understood what I was saying. 😉

Nice. Pithy yet comprehensive.

God, I could never manage two slices in one day. I’d be stuffed! I eke one out over the week.

Sorry but categorising them as ‘larger’ instead of stating they have bigger appetites just shows what type of person you are. You could have said they eat more but instead you made it about their weight and that automatically makes you unreasonable

With salt? (Obviously no pepper as wouldn't want the extra calorie)

I’d be more than happy to acknowledge, sadly the ‘I’ll wait for an apology’ in the absence of any understanding that words on a screen can be interpreted many different ways bevause tone, body language and facial expression are absent, has extinguished the goodwill.

Bye. Enjoy the piety

Only at Christmas.

Op you are suggesting splitting the bill based on what you order. That is fine.

Size is irrelevant unless you want to split the bill based on weight.

I had a new friend who did this - order an expensive main, plus starter, sides, pudding, a cocktail... and then insist on splitting the bill - despite me pointing out she'd had more - it happened twice.

I was subsidising her meal!

So the third time, I said, before ordering, we'll pay for ourselves- she actually said 'no no, we always split, I don't like the awkward number totting up!!'

I said okay. I insisted she order first - and made sure I ordered more expensive choices. Her face was a picture. The bill was ridiculous but it taught her a lesson.

Every time after this, she's been happy paying for ourselves and strangely enough she doesn't order nearly as much...

Please yourself. I hardly think asking for an apology after a personal attack is unreasonable.

Spoken like a true decent person

I always take the attitude the person most negatively effected by splitting the bill gets to decide if they want to split.

"Hey, do we mind just paying for what we order please? Im watching money atm" seems a reasonable way to start the next meal

OP no need to mention their size. I am in my fifties. Most of my friends are trying to lose weight or not gain so eat very little when we go out. I am slim so still order normally. I eat more than them. Not all large people eat more so no need to focus on that element.

This is a bill splitting dilemma that often arises. Most don’t see it as a fat thing. That’s your prejudice showing.

This is the answer.

If your friends are nice people, can't they see the discrepancy? Or (if you don't want to make a fuss), can't you discreetly make the point to just one of your friends?

But…youvd missed the point entirely. OP is implying in multicoloured flashing lights that the reason gif yhis is that her friends are ‘fat’

Seeing as you have clearly said your larger friends only order slightly more than you, YABU.