Page 5 | If you are single, are you genuinely happy being single?

CarrotCrusader · 2025-09-28T14:41:34+00:00

I'm single and I'm perfectly happy. I wouldn't want anyone in my life right now or for the foreseeable future.

JHound · 29/09/2025 12:56

Dogaredabomb · 29/09/2025 02:24

whataweekImhaving I'd do my best to move past it if I were you. He sounds fine apart from having been a twat in the past. There's nothing out there and it's undeniably harder on the kids.

I don’t think anybody should ever remain in a relationship solely because there is “nothing else out there.”

But I do think in that PPs situation I would consider finding a way to get past it.

HRTQueen · 29/09/2025 13:02

yes I am very happy and have absolutely no desire to be in a relationship again or to be intimate. I used to love being in relationships

have been happy most of the time being a single parent and other times its been a struggle (have always been a single parent) the struggles are more around worries of finances and juggling childcare

the thought if sharing my bed with a man makes me physically recoil

JHound · 29/09/2025 13:09

Friendlygingercat · 29/09/2025 12:22

Im in my 80s now and apart from a very bried marriage have always been so. I am also childfree by choice. Looking back I would not have made a different choice.
Single people are much more likely to be net contributers and to have a much lower carbon footprint than families. The only thing I dislike is the way that single/childfree people subsidise families through their taxes and receive almost nothing in return. 25% off council tax just does not cut it.

And to the dumbos who say "but you get to use the roads, street lighting. police etc etc. The groups I am subsidising also get to use these things.

How do you find being single / childfree at your age?

I am single and childless in my 40s.
It does not bother me now but I wonder if it will bother me as I age and need more support.

JHound · 29/09/2025 13:12

Quatt · 29/09/2025 12:40

The cost of single life is one of my motivators for being in a relationship. Obviously most other boxes need to be ticked too but the financial security is very important to me. I could never house share with anyone other than a partner or my son

Edited

Show quote history

I am lucky I am a high earner so can live alone in the SE. But I get why finances keeps a lot of people in relationships.

EmpressaurusKitty · 29/09/2025 13:17

I was single for over a year and was happy at first then started to miss male company, met someone who makes me very happy 😊

The cost of single life is one of my motivators for being in a relationship. Obviously most other boxes need to be ticked too but the financial security is very important to me. I could never house share with anyone other than a partner or my son.

Yes. I said quite early on that people who weren’t single would come on the thread & talk about why they like being in relationships.

It’s just like when parents chip in on the threads about not having kids.

JHound · 29/09/2025 13:22

EmpressaurusKitty · 29/09/2025 13:17

I was single for over a year and was happy at first then started to miss male company, met someone who makes me very happy 😊

The cost of single life is one of my motivators for being in a relationship. Obviously most other boxes need to be ticked too but the financial security is very important to me. I could never house share with anyone other than a partner or my son.

Yes. I said quite early on that people who weren’t single would come on the thread & talk about why they like being in relationships.

It’s just like when parents chip in on the threads about not having kids.

I was going to tag you and say “you were right!”

😂

iamnotalemon · 29/09/2025 13:28

bumblingbovine49 · 29/09/2025 07:06

I haven't posted because the question was aimed at single people. I am not single but I know romantic relationships and marriage is definitely not for everyone...

There are lots of happy singles out there as this thread is evidence of and you must absolutely do what you think is right for you.

. However if what you say about you husband is really true ( and I know snippets in a thread here cannot possibly encompass the whole of a life or relationship ) really think what you might feel 2-3 years after the divorce when your husband is with someone else, who your children may have to spend lots of time with, Someone you have no say over.

I am not saying to stay with your husband just for the children , I don't know your life and if you really cant forgive then you can't. You H was definitelya twat.. I am however willing to bet he will be in a relationship very quickly after you divorce. Especially if he really is handsome, kind, a good father and was just an idiot once a few years ago when you were having a rough time.

If that scenario of your husband happy with someone else.and you having to accept that oerson involved in your childrens lives genuinely feeels OK with you, then fine.

Just spend some time thinking about how that will feel and how it will affect your life before getting a divorce.

I am not saying that your marriage can survive what he did but in the situation you have outlined, I'd want to be very very certain it couldn't survive ( even if it was changed) before divorcing, particularly if I had young children.

Listen to what many of the single people str saying. They don't want the work of a relationship and that is a perfectly valid choice. All long term relationships require work, effort and compromise of some sort. Absolutely all of them. In good ones the work should be done by both parties, mostly feel good, even occasionally oyous even if it still take effort. Occasionally ( and it really should not be very often if the relationship is to be a good one) the work is messy and painful

Good luck, whatever you decide .

Show quote history

I don’t think that the fear of the ‘DH’ finding someone else quickly should be motivation for staying in the relationship. Yes relationships are compromise but there’s a difference between compromise on little things and then being treated like crap because your OH has an affair. If the latter, I would rather stay single. Admittedly I don’t have children to consider in this scenario but I still don’t think your advice of staying because she’ll be replaced quickly is good advice!!

TwistedWonder · 29/09/2025 13:31

EmpressaurusKitty · 29/09/2025 13:17

I was single for over a year and was happy at first then started to miss male company, met someone who makes me very happy 😊

The cost of single life is one of my motivators for being in a relationship. Obviously most other boxes need to be ticked too but the financial security is very important to me. I could never house share with anyone other than a partner or my son.

Yes. I said quite early on that people who weren’t single would come on the thread & talk about why they like being in relationships.

It’s just like when parents chip in on the threads about not having kids.

Or like every thread that’s even a tiny bit critical about men where the usual mansplainers cant wait to jump in and scold us telling us ‘but women are worserer’

decenteringmen · 29/09/2025 13:38

YES.

No whiny manchild who needs everything doing for him, no screaming kids, just me and my dog. Absolutely perfect.

This isn't to say I don't have difficulties to contend with, we all do. However, living alone for the last 11 years as a single person? Brilliant.

Dogaredabomb · 29/09/2025 14:09

Quatt · 29/09/2025 12:40

The cost of single life is one of my motivators for being in a relationship. Obviously most other boxes need to be ticked too but the financial security is very important to me. I could never house share with anyone other than a partner or my son

Edited

Show quote history

I also would fear losing my house to a man, there's more to lose when you're older.

Dogaredabomb · 29/09/2025 14:11

JHound · 29/09/2025 12:56

I don’t think anybody should ever remain in a relationship solely because there is “nothing else out there.”

But I do think in that PPs situation I would consider finding a way to get past it.

Show quote history

I meant it as a caution against imagining a knight on a white charger.

paradisecircus · 29/09/2025 14:12

I've been single for about 20 years. I suppose it's just the way life has turned out, and it's hard to imagine things any other way, but yeah I like it.

JHound · 29/09/2025 14:19

Dogaredabomb · 29/09/2025 14:09

I also would fear losing my house to a man, there's more to lose when you're older.

Show quote history

If you don’t marry them you’re fine.

bumblingbovine49 · 29/09/2025 14:24

iamnotalemon · 29/09/2025 13:28

I don’t think that the fear of the ‘DH’ finding someone else quickly should be motivation for staying in the relationship. Yes relationships are compromise but there’s a difference between compromise on little things and then being treated like crap because your OH has an affair. If the latter, I would rather stay single. Admittedly I don’t have children to consider in this scenario but I still don’t think your advice of staying because she’ll be replaced quickly is good advice!!

Show quote history

It not about worry about being replaced. It is just asking yourself if the best thing for your children is a divorce.

The answer to that is usually only yes, if one or more of the parents is making life miserable for the other on a day to day basis and it is affecting the children ( which it generally will do if this is the case) in which case a divorce makes sense. Since this situation rarely results in an amicable split it is unlikely to be easy on the children either way but is justifiable as the least worse oprion .

Alternatively if both partners can really agree things are over and amicably deal with the post divorce situation then that is better than even mildly unhappy parents. However this is more rare. It can also be risky down the line , if another person comes into the equation since you have no way knowing how they will affect things with the childeen.

Whilst I imagine most people don't regret divorcing, some definitely do since life is usually more complicated after divorce if children are involved.

Divorce with children and without them really is not comparable

Fountofwisdom · 29/09/2025 14:26

I’m mid-50s and have been single for 6 years after leaving a very unhappy relationship. I love some things about being single: knowing that I’m coming home to a peaceful, safe environment; not having to please anyone else; being able to do what I want when I want; eat what I like; watch what I like on TV, etc.

Most of the time I’m very content with my single life. However, sometimes I get big pangs of loneliness, usually at weekends when I see other people in couples and family groups. I miss physical affection and sex and often wonder whether I’ll ever experience it again. And I feel sad when I have no one to share good news or worries with (this is possibly the hardest bit). I also holiday alone but usually in an organised group, which provides company but I’m sad that I don’t have a partner there to share the experience. Plus I definitely feel I have a lower status within my family as I’m the only sibling who is single and childless.

YourWinter · 29/09/2025 14:41

Yes, ex-H moved out in 1997, my last relationship ended in 2006 and I will never share my life, hopes, dreams and head space with anyone again. Entirely happy and healthier in every way, living with dogs and cats, ample contact with AC and DGC. Life is good.

openmicdrop · 29/09/2025 14:55

Until recently, I was single for just over a year after the death of my DH. I felt adrift. I’ve just started dating a widower (unexpectedly), and am enjoying being in a couple again. Early days though.

JohnTheRevelator · 29/09/2025 15:10

Yes,definitely. Had enough of men,full stop. So I decided at the grand old age of 55 that I was going to stay single. I was married for 12 years,divorced in 2001. Since then I've had 4 relationships,one of them long term. Every single one turned out to be a waste of time. They either wanted me for my money (I'm hardly loaded as I live on disability benefits!),looking after (as in meals cooked and laundry done) or for sex whenever they fancied. I had had just about enough of it. The last guy I was with (in 2017) had the cheek to ask after we'd split up,if he could still bring his washing round for me to do once a week! 😂 Cheeky fucker.

Wynter25 · 29/09/2025 16:19

EmpressaurusKitty · 29/09/2025 13:17

I was single for over a year and was happy at first then started to miss male company, met someone who makes me very happy 😊

The cost of single life is one of my motivators for being in a relationship. Obviously most other boxes need to be ticked too but the financial security is very important to me. I could never house share with anyone other than a partner or my son.

Yes. I said quite early on that people who weren’t single would come on the thread & talk about why they like being in relationships.

It’s just like when parents chip in on the threads about not having kids.

🙄

SetMyselfOnFire · 30/09/2025 15:46

There is always talk of being alone when you’re old. More than likely if I’d have stayed married I would have ended up having to care for my ex as he didn’t particularly look after his health. One of the horrifying realisations I had before I decided to end the relationship was that if I became ill or was diagnosed with cancer, he would leave me at my most vulnerable. Unfortunately I read a piece about the statistics and McMillan nurses having to prepare women for the possibility of the end of their marriages after diagnosis.

In the main, men view us as domestic appliances / service providers and when we stop working or there’s a chance of an upgrade, we are discarded. As such, I prefer living my life for me, no one else.

UmbrellaEllaEllaElla · 30/09/2025 17:55

I'm mostly happy but do miss sex. I'm open to what may come my way but getting involved with the wrong person can be so destructive and I do value the peace and freedom I have

TheZenOne22 · 30/09/2025 23:14

I’m 44 and haven’t had a serious relationship for 17yrs. There’s been a lot of short term relationships, dating and FWBs in that time (up until 4yrs ago when I decided to become a solo mum by choice). I’ve been through times when I’ve been incredibly happy and feeling fortunate I was single and times when I questioned what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t find someone.

Right now I can’t see me being in a relationship for a while as I don’t have the time. If I ever do get into a relationship again I don’t think I’d know what to do in one. Haha! I certainly couldn’t imagine living with someone again - I love my own space (which is currently occupied with a toddler)! I do often have pangs for intimacy and romantic connections but I’m certainly not going to go searching for it.

Dogaredabomb · 01/10/2025 07:54

What I miss most is financial back up from another adult. I can work everything out but it would be nice if someone helped.

BUT I've never had a relationship where I can park or even share the load, I've just done it for him too, the budgeting and organising.

Rexthesnail · 01/10/2025 08:01

Very happy single, occasionally look on the dating sites, last time I looked through it was just awful. Ive decided to get a dog instead.

iamnotalemon · 01/10/2025 17:31

Rexthesnail · 01/10/2025 08:01

Very happy single, occasionally look on the dating sites, last time I looked through it was just awful. Ive decided to get a dog instead.

Thank you for making me laugh re the dog 😂