To wish I’d known how crap and miserable being a lone parent is?

[RibenaRibena]

It’s completely miserable and lonely and I think people kid themselves saying how great it is! I am lonely, miserable, have no money, getting old and feel old beyond my years, no free time to myself ever, haven’t even had sex in a decade! Facing another birthday and Xmas alone, every weekend the same old. I know people say it isn’t forever but it’s a bloody long time.

No, I haven’t. Over 325 posts had already been posted on this thread before I even commented. Only 2 people other than you and the OP have interacted with my posts on this thread. Hardly a ‘wave of criticism’.

As I’ve said to another poster, it isn’t just you. I think that you knew what you were doing in helpfully making sure (in case they weren’t already) that others knew the OP had posted before, a lot, and that she had for whatever reason not found the advice helpful.

I do get it can be frustrating when people don’t seem to do obvious things that would help their situation but it isn’t for any of us to say what she should do.

Think whatever you want. I couldn’t give a toss what some random on the internet thinks. You are wrong about why I posted what I did. Completely and utterly wrong.

As I said, think what you want. You are wrong.

Then scroll on, ffs. 🙄

I'm exactly the same apart from a solo parent through widowhood.

Yes it is all so difficult, and lonely. Even when DC have flown the nest I'll still be alone (given up on the prospect of meeting anyone, and struggling with peri!)

As time goes on, it's been a decade for me, you learn how to cope. Practical things are still difficult but you do get used to it. Things fall by the wayside, some things don't get done at all, decorating the house for example - I can't do it and hate getting tradespeople in, can't move furniture alone etc etc, but you realise that's not important. Focus on the things that are.

Don't feel alone though, because as you can see from this thread, there are many of us here. All trying to do our best.

We're going on holiday for Christmas, the first time ever. Otherwise it would just be another day or me and DC at home.

I’m not a parent so I hope you don’t mind me commenting but I actually think I understand why you are feeling the way you do. I care for a parent single handedly and haven’t had a break in just over 9 years. No other family as much as checks in by phone and I get no breaks. I can’t even leave on a day trip without a ton of preparation alongside the healthcare assistant who comes for 1 hour/day and it’s just too much worry if I did go.

I was offered the option of putting her in a care home for respite but the guilt eats me up because it means she would have no visitors and would just stay in her room like she’s done when she’s been there before (recovering on the way home from hospital stays). I don’t know what age you are? But I can see it’s so upsetting and frustrating watching life pass me by and feeling myself getting older (I’m 36) and going nowhere, figuratively and literally. Personally I am depressed but it feels like I’m in a hole and can’t find a way out. Does this sound like a familiar feeling OP? Not trying to make your post about me but thought that maybe some part of my comment resonates with you. 💕🌺