To find it almost unbearable being around my mum in this situation?!

[Ahhhhhhhhhhg]

My Mum is early sixties. She’s very youthful looking and takes pride in her appearance. Her hearing is generally terrible and’ profoundly deaf ‘ in one ear. Hearing aid been advised. She won’t have one.

Today we went out with my toddler and it was just horrendous. She can’t hear anything and I’m constantly repeating myself and she’s speaking loudly herself. I’m so so frustrated she won’t simply get this sorted as she doesn’t like the aesthetics and she says it makes her feel old. My parents are wealthy and she could also get this sorted privately very fast. AIBU to feel this is unbearable?! I never thought something like this would irritate me but I’ve spent the majority of today feeling worn out

That tinny sound goes once you start using wearing them all the time. You are also supposed to clean the bit that goes in your ear.

🤣🤣 I know to clean them 🤣🤣

I thought you weren’t wearing them.

Can someone please direct me to evidence of this CAUSAL link - as far as I can see from the links posted so far, there is a probable statistical CORRELATION in 70-84 year olds WITH OTHER RISK FACTORS and speculation as to why. The theories are that thevlink could be social isolation or "brain strain" (the brain working too hard to compensate at the expense of memory - these first two theories work on opposite premises) and a third theory that there is a common cause of both hearing loss and dementia (neurodegeneration) rather than one causing the other.

Hearing aids have only been clearly proven to help in people who have other risk factors such as high blood pressure, poverty and low educational levels as far as the studies linked to here indicate...

As someone with fairly early onset hearing loss who is also currently struggling with hearing aids which I can't wear atm due to ear infections, it's driving me a little crazy to keep reading people echoing the claim that "hearing loss causes xy proportion of dementia cases" without referencing or linking to the studies. "Studies show xyz" means nothing if you can't point to exactly which studies, or an article peer reviewing a significant number of studies.

I tried for almost 2 weeks and ended up with an ear infection which meant I couldn't wear them until it cleared,I'm now learning basic bsl and can lip read to a degree,because I just couldn't get on with them.

Sounds incredibly frustrating. My DM considered leaving DF over it - not being able to communicate properly was wrecking their relationship. I guess it will have worsened slowly for her and so she doesn't realise. Hope she changes her mind soon

I’m sorry to hear that but am mystified as to how they gave you an infection, hence my comment, but I’m sorry if I came over as sarcastic.

It might be worth speaking to the audiologist again as I have ones that sit in my outer ear rather than in the ear because of having a rather narrow and bent ear canal. I struggled to get one aid in on a regular basis so they made moulds for me and I now have some transparent ones. They aren’t quite as discrete as the in ear ones but nothing like the old NHS styles and nobody seems to have noticed. They might suit you better. There are also other options I believe.

Fair, I may do,it was years of ear infections that led to the scarring that impaired my hearing 🤣 so understandably, i'm cautious.

That sounds painful and frustrating and I can understand your caution. The tinny thing really does get better quite quickly if you use them all the time and I love having bluetooth so I can listen to the radio and get my phone conversations direct into my ear.

The fact that it’s widely accepted amongst all medical institutions, nhs and dementia charities is enough for me to believe it’s an undisputed fact in the scientific world (even if not well known amongst the public).

The type of study they do is follow eg 20,000 people for many years and discover that (after normalising for various factors eg diet health conditions socioeconomic group) the ones with untreated hearing loss are much more likely to actually have dementia than those without.

Sorry I was wrong to say x6 as likely, it is 1 in 6 cases are caused by untreated hearing loss.

There is loads on the internet if you look. Here’s an example to start with blog.medel.pro/audiology/hearing-loss-is-the-number-one-modifiable-risk-factor-for-dementia/

I posted this earlier but here it is again.
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/managing-the-risk-of-dementia/reduce-your-risk-of-dementia/hearing-loss

I developed hearing loss from a young age, at the age of 11 I was advised to use hearing aids, worst things ever, as you can imagine I never used them.
I started to use them though when I was in my 40’s and to this day at 58 they’re still the worst things I’ve ever had to use, I only wear them at work!
I’ve got around 25% natural hearing.
They say my hearing loss is due to swimming for years and frequent ear infections from swimming 🤦🏻‍♀️ I still swim now and I always come home from a holiday abroad with an ear infection!
im going to be contacting my local hospital next week as I would like to have the new Bluetooth ones, and I haven’t had an hearing test for years and I know my hearing has deteriorated lately

My dad says his fill with wax? So he takes them out and cleans them and an hour later they need doing again so he just doesn’t wear them

That link you provided states that "Existing research is insufficient to establish a causal link between hearing loss and cognitive decline."

The correlation is clearly proven, but causation is not. In fact it sounds far more complex - hearing loss can contribute to social isolation and that can lead to depression, reduced cognitive stimulation etc. those things are strong risk factors for dementia.

Claiming that it's widely accepted that hearing loss directly causes dementia actually just sounds like a cheap excuse for finding deaf people annoying and blaming them.

I'm not the only person on here who proactively accessed hearing aids only to be rewarded with new issues with my ears - in my case ongoing blocked sensation which turned out to be ear infection.

Additionally hearing aids don't fix or correct hearing in the same way glasses do - I can hear incidental sounds better (the sound of traffic for example) but I still can't hear the oven beeping or catch what my colleague is saying when she mumbles into the PC keyboard facing away from me. Hearing aids help but don't fix - and now my hearing is worse than ever because I've got an ear infection caused by the hearing aids (the first ear infection I've had in forty years; since recurring infections in childhood).

Using "untreated hearing loss CAUSES dementia" as a stick to beat deaf people with is an oversimplification and deliberate partial interpretation for less than altruistic reasons.

According to that page "There is some evidence that using hearing aids may reduce risk of some aspects of cognitive decline."

I suspect that a lot of people don't really understand how hearing aids work (i.e. they don't "fix" hearing the way glasses or contacts "fix" vision) and don't want to acknowledge how complex the dementia correlation is. It's just easier to use it to justify being more intolerant of deaf people not getting on with hearing aids.

How a person looks is a complete red herring - wearing a hearing aid is far more fraught with problems than wearing glasses, without providing the same type of simple "fix".

An audiologist visited a group I attend to give a talk. He said untreated hearing difficulties are a major risk factor for dementia and that your hearing will deteriorate further and irreversibly if you don’t get hearing aids.

He also said that he always tells people that they must persevere for at least six months to get used to hearing aids and that it is extremely important to be seen again for adjustments regularly if you are having difficulties. They also need cleaning regularly which isn’t always explained to people.

He also told us that not everyone offering microsuction for ear wax is properly qualified and there are real risks to that, you should make sure that anyone cleaning your ears is a professional.

Everyone should have their hearing checked every 3-4 years as it is very difficult to notice the beginning of hearing loss.

I don’t see caring for your hearing as being any different to any other health care, and it would be a shame for your DM to carry on missing out through misplaced pride or vanity @Ahhhhhhhhhhg

I've just found out my boss has a hearing aid.

I've worked with him for nearly two years.

They can be really discreet now. That, and the the dementia link are your two routes into the conversation.

If that doesn't work, then I'd be brutally honest. "Your inability to understand me is really frustrating me. It's affecting our relationship, it's affecting your relationship with Dad, and it will be affecting your relationship with your friends. We love you, and want to be able to have a conversation with you."

That's quite a patronising post - anyone who has been issued with a hearing aid (rather than perhaps bought a sound amplifier online) is fully aware that they have to be cleaned (and the blue tooth ones come with an integrated UV cleaning and drying station as part of the charger in a lot of cases, as well as a supply of cleaning wipes and materials being pushed as a package to buy alongside aids). Weekly appointments to adjust the aid are also normal in the first month - generally new users are not given the aid "cranked up to 11" from day one, as reintroducing full volume high altitude sounds all at once is often intolerable.

Someone who once heard an audiologist do a talk giving his personal opinion as fact will have had a lot less input on hearing aids than someone who has been through all the appointments and used them for months and yet is still experiencing problems. Telling someone using them to clean them is a little like telling a denture wearer they've never met that that "lots of people aren't told they're supposed to clean their dentures".

@IReadMuchOfTheNight it wasn’t intended to be patronising at all, I am sorry if it seemed that way. Two people had recently got hearing aids in the group and hadn’t been shown how to clean them.