To make a complaint about a shop assistant?

[Chunkychips23]

DH thinks I should make a complaint about the following, but I think to just let it go:

Took my two children out shopping today and when in Boots needed the age verification from a sales assistant on the self checkout. An older woman (probably closer to 70) came over to help. She immediately started interacting with my 2yr old who just wasn’t interested. She started tickling my 4 month olds tummy which startled him and made him cry. She then stroked his face, which I said no. Then leaned in to kiss his mouth. I put my hand in between her face and his and said “don’t kiss my baby” and pushed her face away. I didn’t mean to, but I just reacted on instinct. Both my kids have just got over a respiratory illness which dragged for the best part of two weeks. I’m sleep deprived and ratty, so reacted in a way I probably normally wouldn’t have.

The sales assistant didn’t acknowledge, apologise or even react, just cracked on.

DH thinks I should make a complaint to the store about it. I personally think, it’s done now, I made it clear that it wasn’t ok to kiss my infant. She looked to be of the age where she’d past retirement so I doubt she’s working there for fun and likely needs that job. I think she just lost herself for a moment and definitely didn’t mean harm by it.

AIBU to make a complaint? I’m on the fence. It’s cold & flu season and just seems basic to me to not kiss strangers kids at all, let alone on the lips! But like I said, I don’t think she was thinking. DH thinks I should as he said she could do it to at really vulnerable infant.

Can you maybe frame it more as feedback than a complaint, make it clear that you're not angry about it but that it's maybe something she should be mindful of?

It's pretty rare that I complain, but I would in this instance.

She shouldn't be touching other peoples babies, let alone trying to kiss them. You were able to say no, but the next person may not be, so she clearly needs some additional training.

I'd complain. I'm sure she meant no harm, but kissing strange children on the lips is just weird and incredibly invasive. Your baby is not a dress-up doll for this woman to paw at. Even back in the day, this wasn't a thing that strangers ever did. Her manager needs to know about this.

I rarely complain but some viruses that people may be carrying can be really harmful, so fingers in mouths or kissing is a no-no for strangers and to be honest most other people outside of the home when they’re very small. Imagine if she had asymptomatic herpes (cold sore) and she infected your baby, at least with you know if they suffer or you can tell ask them in advance - honestly what idiot kisses random babies especially without permission. I’d perhaps ask Boots to educate her, she’s maybe just ignorant

I would have made a right fuss there and then tbh, and yes I'd definitely complain now. That's wildly inappropriate.

No I wouldn't complain. You were standing there, you managed the situation

I wouldn't complain. The poor behaviour isn't related to her job but more of a social interaction of which you handled well. A company like Boots care more about the transaction being processed than the training of customer service.

Work in a supermarket and no colleague would physically touch a customer's/strangers child without permission even if they knew them first, let alone try to kiss them. Just go with your instincts. Not really acceptable even if to her totally innocent.

You managed the situation at the time. A complaint would only be raised if you were unhappy with the outcome of the interaction.

My 4th baby wound up in ICU on a ventilator at 5 weeks old. Two run of the mill viruses which led to pneumonia and we very nearly lost our son. So yes I would highlight it, not in an official complaint way but I would ask to speak to the store manager and ask them to have a quiet word so it doesn’t happen again. Babies only have you to advocate for them. Someone else who is more introverted may freeze in a situation like this so you would be doing others a favour, and protecting the shop worker from potentially loosing her job by doing it to someone else who isn’t so understanding

But without the feedback, the staff member might do it to someone else's baby.

Framing it as feedback is a brilliant idea, thank you. I get it, some people think that’s completely normal to do and maybe she has done it a few times unchallenged, so thinks it’s ok. Or maybe on this one occasion she just forgot herself.

I have had people try and be intrusive with my children before, but just moved the pram out of the way. But there was no where to move the pram to and she was diving straight in! My favourite was an older woman attempting to pull off the rain cover to try and touch my 1st born as a baby 😂 I think seeing babies out in the wild for some people, they think it’s ok to touch them. Don’t see anyone trying to touch and kiss my teenage stepson though!

Unbelievable, OP. What was this woman thinking? And what is it with some people who want to kiss other people’s babies?

When my daughter was a few days old and fresh out of NICU after a sky-high temperature and a lumbar puncture, an auxiliary nurse came up, bent down and kissed her smack on the lips. I burst into tears - I was a very worried first-time mother. Honestly!🙄

Then raise feedback. You can raise feedback without complaining.

A complaint is feedback 🤣 negative feedback. It doesn't really matter what we call it here, does it? It comes to the same thing.

For someone that thinks it doesn’t matter what we call it you seem to have a bee in your pants over it 😂

But no - feedback isn’t a complaint. Language is important.

I’ve sent off some feedback and reiterated that I’m not making a formal complaint as I know she didn’t mean any intentional harm by it, but she needs training on appropriate interactions. I’ve spoken to my friend who works in retail and she said they won’t fire her for it, but she’ll likely have to do some additional training and may get a disciplinary. Unless she’s had a complaint before about this. I don’t want to get her fired. I’m sure she’s a lovely lady with grandchildren of her own and just forgot herself for a moment, but it’s seriously not ok,

If this wasn’t on Mum’s net, I wouldn’t have believed this happened
wtf

What are you on about 😂 bee in my bonnet (that's the right idiom by the way, language is important) when you're the one playing Websters over which word is ok for the OP to do and which isn't?

A complaint is obviously a type of negative feedback, but it's irrelevant! I'm saying raise it with Boots so they can retrain their staff member!

Sounds like the perfect response. Hope your baby doesn't get ill!

I'd have complained there and then. I'd probably have made a big fuss.

She's completely out of order thinking it is okay to touch children that are not anything to do with her. I think it's quite shocking really.

Of course it's those pesky 'older ladies' who just can't keep their hands off babies 🙄

Believe me this older lady would run a mile.

Bless 🐝 🩲

I would complain, maybe put in the email that you don’t want her to lose her job but she does need to be told this isn’t okay behaviour.