To make a complaint about a shop assistant?

[Chunkychips23]

DH thinks I should make a complaint about the following, but I think to just let it go:

Took my two children out shopping today and when in Boots needed the age verification from a sales assistant on the self checkout. An older woman (probably closer to 70) came over to help. She immediately started interacting with my 2yr old who just wasn’t interested. She started tickling my 4 month olds tummy which startled him and made him cry. She then stroked his face, which I said no. Then leaned in to kiss his mouth. I put my hand in between her face and his and said “don’t kiss my baby” and pushed her face away. I didn’t mean to, but I just reacted on instinct. Both my kids have just got over a respiratory illness which dragged for the best part of two weeks. I’m sleep deprived and ratty, so reacted in a way I probably normally wouldn’t have.

The sales assistant didn’t acknowledge, apologise or even react, just cracked on.

DH thinks I should make a complaint to the store about it. I personally think, it’s done now, I made it clear that it wasn’t ok to kiss my infant. She looked to be of the age where she’d past retirement so I doubt she’s working there for fun and likely needs that job. I think she just lost herself for a moment and definitely didn’t mean harm by it.

AIBU to make a complaint? I’m on the fence. It’s cold & flu season and just seems basic to me to not kiss strangers kids at all, let alone on the lips! But like I said, I don’t think she was thinking. DH thinks I should as he said she could do it to at really vulnerable infant.

I think it’s totally fair to send feedback and hopefully it will make her rethink her behaviour- it might save another parent from this scenario. Similar thing happened to me in Duty free in the airport, shop assistant gushed over my baby and kissed their hand, it happened so fast before I could stop it, I was so angry. If it had been on the lips I would have hit the roof. I really think people need to realise how uncomfortable it makes new mothers and how protective we feel of them. Sounds like you were super on top of it though. Well done!

Are you sure she was an employee OP?

What are you hoping to achieve by making a written complaint? I would think this is better dealt with by having a word with the store manager.

She should not have touched them at all let alone attempted to kiss. Boundaries! If it was an assistant definitely complain. She should know better.

I would definitely complain.

What she did was weird and hugely inappropriate on many levels.

She could jeopardise the health of the next baby she tries this with.

So in other words, it didn't really

...eyeroll...

This was my first thought i work in retail and a lady I work with is autistic and just doesn't understand social norms so will often cross the line in my opinion but thats the reality of people with autism and other disabilities being out in the workforce i do think we all need to be a little more tolerant and understanding but at the same time I wouldn't want some random person kissing my baby so I do understand where op is coming from

I’m a nurse and I know how it can be dangerous to kiss a baby if you have cold sores or other infections. I would find it very very weird for someone not related to me to kiss my baby. Grandparents fine, relatives fine - unless any are unwell but shop assistants very weird and absolutely not on! Yes talk to the baby, shake its rattle or toy - kiss no f…… way! That is a very intrusive and possibly dangerous action! Asked my Mum and she says she would never kiss a strangers baby and only her GC if she knew we were ok with it and she wasn’t unwell. Must say all her GC expect a kiss and cuddle ( and tickle from Gramps). I’ve had strangers putting coins in the pram for good luck which is fine and like a tradition in small towns.

It’s not.

Edited - quoted wrong post!

Annoying but I would leave it, I don’t think she meant any harm and as you said, just got lost in the moment…you must have very cute kids!

All sounds very weird. A Boots employee was doing all this?

Well, er, no, kissing the baby on the mouth didn't really happen, did it? She never ACTUALLY kissed the baby.
Unsure about the eyeroll, though?
Does it mean I'm dumb to point this out?
I also think the fact about her being older does swing things, 'cos it suggests she was lacking in self control due to advanced age and therefore liable to behave inappropriately.

She sounds v inappropriate, regardless of age. No-one should be touching another person without their permission (or for the baby, would obvs be parental permission).
As PPs have said could be dementia, or just a complete lack of boundaries. Either way, totally inappropriate behaviour for an employee. The fact that it's Boots is worse as there will be small children regularly in there, and poorly children, who don't want unsolicited contact from strangers.
I voted unreasonable, only because you weren't going to mention it (and I'm glad you did, but I only read that but after I'd voted)

I am wondering of it was the same staff member posted about 6 months or so ago, same thing happened back then it is an amazing coincidence

You did exactly the right thing, OP, both at the interaction and with your feedback afterward.

As someone who has had whooping cough eight times (despite vax), may I add to the general discussion here that some infections can be fatal to a baby. We need to be sensible and gracious about infection control as a society. I have eternal babylust 😍and love seeing little ones in the wild, but I stand back, smile and wave rather than swoop in on them.

To address some comments:

• Yes, she we definitely an employee. She came over to do the age verification on the self checkout
• Yes, she was aiming to kiss my baby on the lips. Leant fully into the pram and I stuck my hand in between her and my baby, so she ended up kissing my hand instead.
• No, I’m not bring ageist or patronising. If it had been a teenager or middle aged woman, I’d still have mentioned the age group. It’s a descriptor and relevant. She looked around my mums age group, which was why I was assuming late 60’s to early 70’s.
• I’m more than happy for people to interact with my kids. 99% of the time it’s a respectful interaction from strangers. They’re smiley, happy infants who love people talking to them, especially my toddler. There’s just no need to physically touch them if we don’t know you. Yes, it is usually boomers who interact with them when we’re out and it’s nearly always positive.
• I’m not expecting or wanting Boots to do anything other than speak to her and make sure she doesn’t do it again. Imagine if that has been an anxious mother with a vulnerable infant, who didn’t feel confident in stopping it.
• I’ve contacted Boots and informed them, but reiterated I’m not raising it as a complaint as it seemed to be a genuine lapse of judgement. They’ve replied saying they have passed it on to the store manager.

I'd have complained there and then to management. You don't touch strangers children and if she had a cold it could have made your baby very sick. Working for a major pharmacy type company (please take the name of the company out).

How bizarre. I’ve never heard of a shop assistant kissing a baby in my life.

I think you did the right thing OP. I watched my friends son who was the same age as my youngest have to battle severe eczema from
the ages of 1-7, which was diagnosed at age 4/5 as herpetic eczema because a mutual friend of ours kissed him as a baby with a cold sore. The poor kid had to be wet wrapped every night for years and was under a consultant at the children’s hospital it was that bad.

I once worked with a man in his twenties, when saying good bye to a customer (someone he had worked with weekly for several weeks) she happened to have her daughter with her (a toddler) he said to the toddler “come and give me a kiss goodbye “ which the toddler kissed his cheek and hugged him. Mum complained after and he was sacked, there was a lot of discussion after amongst his coworkers. some people felt he crossed a line, others felt it needed a warning rather than sacking.

To be honest if she’s as old as the OP says, she’s more likely to be at risk from the children they they from her! Having said that she should not have done what she did.

You were right to intervene to stop the kissing. However, most respiratory illnesses are airborne: COVID, flu, RSV, whooping cough, also measles, amongst others. So simply bringing your children into an indoor enclosed space with limited ventilation puts them at heightened risk of inhaling viral particles exhaled by sick people. Especially a place like Boots where sick people go to the pharmacy.

Kissing would increase the risk due to the proximity to exhaled breath, and also risk cold sores, but kissing in and of itself is not the only risk factor for contagion.

This is why we need to focus on clean indoor air with good ventilation and air filtration to trap/expel viral particles. Good thing this was finally recognised at the UN General Assembly this week. And why tight fitting masks are the best form of protection against inhaling infectious particles. As worn by Violet Affleck at the UN.

I clicked on the thread all ready to tell you not to complain but when I read what happened I was immediately like eurgh that’s disgusting she needs to be stopped. You should 100% complain. She needs to be disciplined asap.

When I was pregnant with my eldest a woman came upto me and put her hand DOWN MY PANTS to touch my bump. They don’t even need to be born yet for people to go crackers over babies 😆