To make a complaint about a shop assistant?

[Chunkychips23]

DH thinks I should make a complaint about the following, but I think to just let it go:

Took my two children out shopping today and when in Boots needed the age verification from a sales assistant on the self checkout. An older woman (probably closer to 70) came over to help. She immediately started interacting with my 2yr old who just wasn’t interested. She started tickling my 4 month olds tummy which startled him and made him cry. She then stroked his face, which I said no. Then leaned in to kiss his mouth. I put my hand in between her face and his and said “don’t kiss my baby” and pushed her face away. I didn’t mean to, but I just reacted on instinct. Both my kids have just got over a respiratory illness which dragged for the best part of two weeks. I’m sleep deprived and ratty, so reacted in a way I probably normally wouldn’t have.

The sales assistant didn’t acknowledge, apologise or even react, just cracked on.

DH thinks I should make a complaint to the store about it. I personally think, it’s done now, I made it clear that it wasn’t ok to kiss my infant. She looked to be of the age where she’d past retirement so I doubt she’s working there for fun and likely needs that job. I think she just lost herself for a moment and definitely didn’t mean harm by it.

AIBU to make a complaint? I’m on the fence. It’s cold & flu season and just seems basic to me to not kiss strangers kids at all, let alone on the lips! But like I said, I don’t think she was thinking. DH thinks I should as he said she could do it to at really vulnerable infant.

My youngest DD had chemo when she was a baby. If anyone had tried that shit, they wouldn't have lived to see the day out. Meanwhile, I know what you mean about weird, intrusive people sticking their paws into the pram or lifting up the covers. Drove me bonkers when I had newborn twins.

It’s irrelevant that it’s cold and flu season! It’s normal to fuss over small children but really weird to try and kiss a tiny baby on the lips.

Wow I’ve never even kissed my own DC on thr lips. Had a stranger tried to kiss infant dc…I don’t know what I would have done. Well done for intervening.

It's not just the baby being vulnerable.
I have CLL ( Chronic Lymphocytic Leukaemia) and catch many colds from my 2 small dgc so I would prefer them not to be given bugs by strangers.

Its a generation thing. In her days people were allowed to do this and there was no harm meant. Nowadays its all about personal space, don't touch me. I work in a supermarket and one of our older male staff was sacked for touching the arm of a younger worker. Its another example of the worlds gone mad.

What a weirdo?! I don't like other people's children, let alone kiss them,. Yuk! You need to make a complaint.

There's that casual ageism again - 'an older woman - probably closer to 70'. Irrelevant. What gets me is why anybody would want to kiss some random yucky baby - it might have just been sick!

It is a good question, I think. I am guessing that If she was younger you would take what she did far more seriously and would not be so concerned about making a complaint. That’s worth reflecting on imho.

I’d have been just as annoyed but I’d expect them to know better. There is a lot more literature we’re bombarded with, especially on social media regarding boundaries and not kissing babies. Was chatting with my mother about this. She’s the same generation as the shop assistant and she personally wouldn’t touch or kiss a strangers baby as she was medical in her former career, she’s seen what one kiss can do and take a baby to the morgue because of HSV being passed on by a kiss. But she was saying it was a lot more common when I was born in the 80’s for strangers to think it was ok to pick up your kids etc. My MIL approaches strangers children and engages with them and DH has had to tell her not to touch them. But even then, she still wouldn’t even dream of stroking their faces or kissing them!

The world's gone mad because of personal boundries and consent?

This is why, even with babies and children I know, I treat them like a dog. I wouldn't pet a dog without permission, I don't manhandle babies and children without permission.

Is it? Why is it patronising?

I totally hear you, in fact I would have stopped the lady at the moment she started tickling my baby. I really dislike other than mum or dad tickling my kids.
Could you tell the shop that you are not angry but that would be nice if the whole team can have a training regarding personal space without referencing the person?
A bit of trainning for everyone doesn't really harm, in fact doing a favour for more awareness.

Why do people think it's acceptable to touch and kiss babies? They wouldn't do it to a 10 year old so why do they think it's fine to interact like that with a baby? Trying to kiss a customer is gross misconduct. Yes, complain.

If a man kissed your child there would be no question. Predators come in all shapes and sizes

You sound very reasonable and composed, I think you handled it well by stopping her. I would probably have a gentle word with the manager and suggest they speak to her as it is unprofessional and unacceptable. Offer it as feedback rather than a complaint. The next person she does it to may well want her sacked. This way it's an opportunity for the store to speak to her and monitor her and if she continues to do it then maybe she should lose her job.

Its wildly inappropriate to kiss a stranger, even one of 4months. I would probably say something but frame it as a request they consider not a complaint

It may make a difference to the intention behind the act, but the act itself is creepy as fuck no matter who's doing it.

This is absolutely my biggest fear in life that someone will give my child herpes/cold sores. I will straight up soft smack away. It's a life opportunity limiting condition. No no no. And have advised my children to avoid anyone with them like the plague. Freaked out when son had a spot. Was hormonal acne starting at 9. I'm cursed.

This is gross to be honest. Why do people think it's okay to touch people's kids unsolicited let alone kiss them. I had to tell one of the nurses at my grandmother's nursing home not to touch my 2 month old sons face as she swooped in and started stroking his cheek with god knows what germs and then I get looked at like I'm the a hole 🤦🏻‍♀️

Touching or kissing a strangers baby is totally inappropriate behaviour

anymore so then her touching and trying and trying to kiss you

you just wouldn’t do it

So yes informing boots is a good move. So she knows better for next time

Completely inappropriate and if you said no and felt uncomfortable then it was wrong. I would complain,

im going to go to an extreme here. If that was a man would you complain? If so then yes you should complain. Women can be perverts too!