To make a complaint about a shop assistant?

[Chunkychips23]

DH thinks I should make a complaint about the following, but I think to just let it go:

Took my two children out shopping today and when in Boots needed the age verification from a sales assistant on the self checkout. An older woman (probably closer to 70) came over to help. She immediately started interacting with my 2yr old who just wasn’t interested. She started tickling my 4 month olds tummy which startled him and made him cry. She then stroked his face, which I said no. Then leaned in to kiss his mouth. I put my hand in between her face and his and said “don’t kiss my baby” and pushed her face away. I didn’t mean to, but I just reacted on instinct. Both my kids have just got over a respiratory illness which dragged for the best part of two weeks. I’m sleep deprived and ratty, so reacted in a way I probably normally wouldn’t have.

The sales assistant didn’t acknowledge, apologise or even react, just cracked on.

DH thinks I should make a complaint to the store about it. I personally think, it’s done now, I made it clear that it wasn’t ok to kiss my infant. She looked to be of the age where she’d past retirement so I doubt she’s working there for fun and likely needs that job. I think she just lost herself for a moment and definitely didn’t mean harm by it.

AIBU to make a complaint? I’m on the fence. It’s cold & flu season and just seems basic to me to not kiss strangers kids at all, let alone on the lips! But like I said, I don’t think she was thinking. DH thinks I should as he said she could do it to at really vulnerable infant.

They aren’t going to fire her if you complain about this so do it or don’t but people need to get the idea out of their heads that people are fired because of customer complaints, they are not. I spent years in retail as a student and people complain constantly about all manner of things, unless you are stealing or not showing up for shifts they don’t care.

Right?! My first thought was "is this woman mentally ill?"

I can’t quite get my head round the fact that a total stranger not only touched but tried to kiss your baby. That is such rank behaviour. It really does have to be reported. She can’t go around doing that.

I once worked in retail with a lady who was autistic, among other things. She was sooo friendly! A lady was looking at the shelves, colleague was cooing over her baby in the trolley. Then she just started pushing the baby away, in a world of her own. No harm meant, but of course the mother of the child reacted by basically flinging her across the floor, she apologized a million times for pushing her but she understandably panicked. No disciplinary was given to colleague but they did explain to her what she can and can't do. Wether it's friendly or not people do not appreciate it.

She looked to be of the age where she’d past retirement so I doubt she’s working there for fun and likely needs that job.

This is incredibly ageist and ignorant.

Loads of people enjoy their jobs enough to not want to retire.

Sorry, was the 70 year old a shop assistant? Or a shopper?

I wondered that, too, but there would be no point in complaining about another customer after the fact, would there?

Ypi were dealing with the issue, why should the other shop assistant also intervene

complain there and then

@steff13 I wasn't sure if ahe thought the assistant should intervene between her and another shopper? Or if tbe older lady is a shop assistant

A total stranger tried to kiss your 4m old on the lips and you don’t know whether to complain. It’s unbelievable!

I literally has old ladies telling me they want to kiss my babies but they did not do it. However, funnily enough, one Boots assistant stroked her on the cheek and felt her skin is very very dry and gave me the most amazing cream

This is definitely not okay. My first thought was honestly possible dementia.

People need to deal with stuff as it happens. The feedback form will sit in a database somewhere. That is not appropriate behaviour between strangers.

I think it’s absolutely wild that a stranger in any circumstance would think it appropriate to touch a baby they don’t know, never mind attempt to kiss the baby on the lips.
I would raise the issue with Boots (either as feedback or a complaint) as it’s totally unacceptable for the staff member to behave like this.

Oh that didn't occur to me. I don't think I would expect an employee to intervene with another customer. Maybe a security guard, but not just a regular assistant.

I normally hate it when people suggest dementia. But the first real symptom of my wonderful MIL's dementia was the way she approached mothers with babies entirely unknown to her, in such a way.

She'd always loved children and was a spectacular grandma, but it was as if she lost a filter. We used to have to step in to rescue bemused or startled mums regularly. It was so sad, but also so awkward.

This.
She needs to be told.

Feedback is the best gift you can give to an organisation. How else are they to know what their staff are doing? Feedback is not a complaint.

Meanwhile, make it constructive, highlight the positive but point out how she crossed the boundary. Your till receipt will show what time the issue took place. They will know the roster and who was on duty.

However, I bet you won’t get a response from Boots or if you do it will be anodyne or palliative.

I’d make a complaint, and I’m very far from a fussy type, but I’ve never even kissed my own Gdcs on the lips! Cheeks, forehead, just about anywhere else, but lips? You just don’t!

ignore her. It’s what she does.

I worked in Boots and at no point did I have training on how it’s inappropriate to kiss random babies.
The problem is with her, not the shop where she happens to work.
I would imagine there might be some general message or briefing about appropriate customer interactions but I doubt very much she’ll have any individual ‘training’ or a disciplinary. It’s the run-up to Christmas, retail is crazy busy, rightly or wrongly nobody has time for this sort of thing I’m afraid.

I wouldn't complain. Its a social situation in a shop not a situation like a nurse acting like that where she will regularly be having contact as part of her job.
It could just as easily happened when she was shopping rather than working.

The worst bit is kissing his mouth. But how can you be so sure she was going to kiss his mouth if she never got that far, since you stopped her?
So many people say this is unbelievable. So, could it be that you went into panic mode , OP , and just felt this was going to happen, but she never would have done it?
If you take out the (potential) kissing bit, then it all reads differently.Especially if you changed older woman to say middle-aged woman.
Then you would have a middle aged woman came over, spoke to your 2 year old, and tickled your 4month old's tummy , and stroked his face.
When you look at what actually happened in that way, it sounds pretty normal. Perhaps you panicked about the kissing and she never would have done it?

I mean, you wouldn’t accept a friend or relative kissing your baby on the lips so why would you even entertain it’s ok for a complete stranger in a shop to do so. I honestly feel you need to take a look at your ability to assert yourself and protect your kids.

You can give anonymous feedback. You don’t have to give any identifying information about the assistant, not even what day you shopped on. You could just ask that there is team training given. I would do this honestly because cold sores and babies do not mix, and not every parents would be as quick off the mark as you (and well done there). It’s a safety thing and that’s how I would frame it.