To say school went too far suspending him for a vape

[Abdican]

basically DS14 has been suspended for 3 days cos he was caught with a vape at school and I just feel like that’s too harsh for a first time he only had it in his blazer pocket he wasn’t even using it in class or anything it was at break time.

I know vaping isn’t good before anyone says it but loads of kids are doing it and I’d already told him off and taken it off him when I found it before so it feels like he’s getting punished twice. He’s gonna miss lessons and he’s already behind.

I rang the school and they were really rude to me saying they have a zero tolerance policy and if it happens again he could be permanently excluded. I get rules are rules but I don’t think chucking him out for 3 days is going to teach him anything except to sit at home on his Xbox.

sorry long post but I feel like they’re making an example of him cos he’s a bit cheeky in class sometimes. do schools really suspend for this straight away? or am I right to think they’ve gone too far?

Your absolutely right obesity is a lot more dangerous then vaping

OMG vapes are NOT healthy!

Please make a coherent argument and stop rage baiting.

We are talking about vaping that is not allowed per the school policy

Start a new thread about obesity if you want to.

My child would not be smoking or vaping in my home or infront of me until they was an adult

I just think everyone is being dramatic about vaping its a massive improvement from years ago when kids where smoking at school.

Both can be harmful to health. One is treated like class A drugs due to a moral panic. The other can be consumed as much as teens want.

They aren’t healthy, but they are far less dangerous than cigarettes.

I didnt say healthy I said healthier like I would say cannabis is healthier then heroin

OP, you seem to have a very low bar for behaviour - if he isn't "smashing windows" is it ok?
When you go into school for the readmittance meeting, tell the pastoral head/year manager that you will support the school's behaviour policy and work with your son on the low level disruption as well. They may have a space for 1-2-1 support, but it's difficult with budgets. He needs to be on a better path, and will need to meet targets. Ask what support they can put in place, and work on his behaviour at home.

But there's a link between vaping addiction and those children becoming disruptive as a result. This was one of the things I actually spoke to ds about when I discovered he'd been vaping. It harms focus and concentration and you end up with the same outcome as those whose ADHD is poorly managed (as an example, seeing as you mention inclusion).

With that kind of attitude towards authority, I am, not suprised your son is behaving this way. This is a consequence of breaking a school policy and the school has every right to follow through and suspend your kid otherwise other kids will think it's okay. You should be thanking the school for helping you with this problem because today it's a vape, what is it tomorrow? I find that schools are actually too lenient with our kids. You should be backing the school and not your child. Clearly your consequence did nothing since he was caught with the vape after the fact.

The link is nicotine addiction which children have been addicted to for decades. Its not a new thing its just a safer option has been invented

Learning to follow rules is useful as we as a society all have to follow rules. Its not 'big' to flout the rules. If he's behind then perhaps he plays about/acts up to deflect from this. I have seen plenty at various schools. Take away electronics for the three days. If you get tantrums, bad manners, shouting then youve found the right consequence/punishment.
You want him to get on in life, be able to read, write and express himself in proper whole sentences.....then this is how you get there.
Also if door slamming occurs.....remove the door.
Coming down firmly is teaching how to behave. This will help later in the workplace .
All part of growing up.
Physically big at 14
Mentally nowhere near big yet.

Not Harsh at all. And yes, the exact same thing happening my school.
You're unreasonable that you was planning on letting him just sit on his Xbox, like a reward.
He's going to be bored? Give him something to do that's not fun. He can clean, read, do online maths etc.
You "told him off" for having a vape and removed it. He then got a second vape and took it into school, where is it prohibited. This is not a second punishment, it's a second times he's done something bad.

It’s mumsnet. Of course we can 😂

🤣🤣🤣

@youalright

Your acceptance of nicotine addiction in children as being normal is blowing my mind.

Their brains and bodies are still developing.

It is NOT normal. Permissive parenting is what makes it seem normal but it is really not.

I'm sure you can find plenty of chores for him at home bed changing ironing cleaning hoovering cleaning oven sweeping front/back of house he also needs to learn that he will have to know how to do these things in life window cleaning he will be pleased to stop cleaning and do schoolwork or watch tv after meal prep of course 14 is not a baby

I'm sure you can find plenty of chores for him at home bed changing ironing cleaning hoovering cleaning oven sweeping front/back of house he also needs to learn that he will have to know how to do these things in life window cleaning he will be pleased to stop cleaning and do schoolwork or watch tv after meal prep of course 14 is not a baby

Because in 1996 49% of children aged 11- 15 had tried a cigarette in 2025 20% of 11- 17 year olds have tried vaping. Let's not make out its abnormal behaviour among teens

The scale of it is definitely new, as any teacher or parent will tell you. When I was a teenager, a handful of kids smoked. You'd be hard pushed to find any kids who haven't vaped, though - that 20% figure is those who have admitted to it, the actual number is likely to be far higher. A 'safer alternative' which was originally aimed at getting adults to stop smoking does not equate to 'safe for children to do it'. Cigarettes weren't specifically marketed to children, as has been the case with vapes. They didn't come in attractive colours and flavours. A higher proportion of children vape now than ever smoked back in the day.

Not according to the stats 49% of 11 - 15 year olds had smoked in 1996 and only 20% of 11-17 year olds have vaped in 2025.

Trying it once isn't the same as actually doing it multiple times to the point you have vapes in your pocket at school.

I use to always have a packet of fags in my bag at school everyone did

Kids who vape regularly is 9% in England this number hasnt increased since 2018