Leaving a parking space because someone else wants it

[Allisnotlost1]

I left the gym this morning about 8.15 and, as I did, saw someone arrive and drive the wrong way around the car park. It’s not huge but there’s an overflow which adds about 15-20 steps onto the walk back to the building. There’s also a second overflow which would add about 60 seconds.

I sat in my car to send a difficult emails - to do with bereavement - and I did this there so I could leave it behind and come home and focus on the day. It would have taken about 5 or 6 minutes.

So I start dealing with it and the wrong way driver an older lady, just for visualisation purposes, knocks on my window and asks me if I’m leaving. Yes, I say, it not for about 5 minutes. She asks me to ‘just pull out and wait somewhere’. I say I can’t, because you’ve driven the wrong way around the car park and now you’re blocking the exit. She insists she isn’t and she ‘needs’ the space because the car park is full. She hasn’t been to the overflow.

I look at her gobsmacked, but then ask where is it she expects me to go, and she then gets flustered and says don’t worry about. Ok I say, closing my door. When I left, there were a couple of empty spaces but by then she’d parked on the grass verge on the exit road.

AIBU?

YANBU - she should have used the overflow/s or driven around a bit like anyone else.

YABU - immediately leaving the car park at busy times is just the right thing to do.

You were fine.
Take what time you need.
You could have been waiting for your passenger who was still in the changing rooms

Eh? what are you on about @HelplessSoul

My inherent bias? Because I thought your response would be abusive and petty? That I think it's sad that people like you are walking around verbally abusing and deliberately inconveniencing people?

You absolutely did not "merely" use what the OP wrote in her post.
The woman didn't hassle anyone. That's your messed up perspective because clearly you're walking around like some sort of emotional time bomb, looking to take offence to the slightest interaction. How dare someone talk to you and ask you if you're moving, what a cunt, right?
And yes, those were absolutely the only two options...you definitely didn't make that part up either did you?

"You said you objected to my posting about here - bitching, you called it. "

Come on OP you know that bitching ≠ posting. I'm not going to waste my time explaining that.

"There were places for her to park, she just chose not to go there, for whatever reason.

There were places to park when you left at least 5 mins later.

She certainly did not indicate that she ‘needed’ the space, just that she wanted it. You’ve chosen to imagine that it was health related, based on nothing at all.

No, I chose to consider the possibility that someone who asked for a spot might genuinely need it. I personally wouldn't expect proof of anything, if someone needed something and I didn't, and my use was inconveniencing someone unnecessarily then I'd just move. Why make someone's day a little more difficult when it's possible to help them out a little.

I chose not to leave immediately, for reasons I’ve explained. You don’t need to agree with those reasons but asking why seems defunct at this point."

Yes, I know you chose not to leave. I just disagree with that choice and think it was selfish. The parking spaces are there for people to use the facilities, not for general admin and there was literally no reason not to do that at home or somewhere more appropriate.

I think overall it’s a minor occurrence. I think she was unreasonable for driving the wrong way around a car park and you were unreasonable for blocking a car park space for something you could’ve done at home.

yanbu, I go to the gym with my dd sometimes and if she finishes before me she goes and sits in the car so is this now allowed?
When I go shopping I sometimes stop off at my friends for a catch up on the way home so beforehand I buy a sandwich at the supermarket and sit in the car and eat it, is this not allowed either?
If no other spaces were available for parking I’d suggest it’d have been better to leave but as there were I don’t get why she even bothered you.

Is it presumptuous of me to think if they're using the gym they're able to walk those few extra steps in? If she parked on the grass bit, is it possible she didn't know about the overflow car park?
I don't think it's unreasonable to spend 5 minutes in the car before driving off. Sometimes I need that time to decompress from one activity to another. If someone told me they'd be 5 minutes and I really needed that spot then I would just wait 5 minutes, not have the audacity to tell them to leave immediately!

I suggest you go back to bed because clearly, reading comprehension is WAY above your pay grade.

I’d say YANBU. You weren’t sat in the car for half an hour, just a few minutes. She drove the wrong way blocking your exit and could have quite easily parked in the overflow. Annoying for her but tough luck really.

Sitting in your car in a busy car park to send emails that could be done absolutely anywhere else is just a dick move.

I wouldn’t have told her to FO, but I definitely would have made her wait longer.

I’m aware I’m not that nice though sometimes! I own it.

Utter rubbish! All she would have needed to do was pull up further along then reverse into the space. Easy! You were just being awkward and you know it.

These people are the worst! Why can they never just get back in their car and drive off?!

Personally I’d have moved myself to the overflow car park that was presumably empty as no one ever wants to park in the overflow. If I’d known I was going to send emails after the gym I’d have parked in there from the start and not had to move.
you clearly valued the close space just as others did so it’s a bit mean spirited to say she could have parked in the overflow when clearly you didn’t want to either.

I'd say if the car parks busy then leave when your finished the gym, but tbh it's 5 mins not half an hour, so not that big a deal and there's an overflow car park.

Fair enough, but you’re asking her to wait for your own convenience?

It all seems to have been sorted, so perhaps don’t dwell on it. Life really is too short.

Urgh, God, I'm so sick of people.

You weren't doing anything wrong. And for all she knew, you were waiting for someone else to finish up and come out.

I think you were in the wrong really .I mean the spaces are for people coming to use the gym .Not those who have finished ! Im sorry about your difficult email .But thats not her fault really.

I think the request and the response were both reasonable. The driving the wrong way around is of more concern, if the way around the car park is well signed/signposted. Suggests poor eyesight to me.

But that sounds far more aggressive than the cf in question. And scary.

But we’re not all mind readers so unless she is happy to tell the OP, I’ve got a mobility issue, if really appreciate it if you’ve finished could I have your space, why would they presume that she has a problem? As someone with a blue badge I’m not entitled to a blue badge space or any space more than the next badge holder and if all the spaces were full I wouldn’t dream of going up to someone to ask for their space if it was nearer than another space in a car park. Does your husband ask people to move their cars so he can get a prime spot in the car park? I think I have overused the word space!

Ideally this would be something that you'd shrug off. Trying to be the correct all the time leads to a lot of angst. It was fine for you to sit there and it was fine for her to ask. There ended up being a little more emotion on both sides than was called for.

Imagine being so bad tempered and rude.

All these people making up rules about what car parks are for! Car parks are for parking your car; and that's what you were using it for. Unless there are written rules limiting use, then anyone can park there for whatever reason they like.

What if you stop for a coffee in the gym café after you workout? Is that allowed? What if you nip to the post office to buy some stamps? Is the Post Office a permitted shop?

Listen to yourselves...

I thought that too. Horrible.