Leaving a parking space because someone else wants it

[Allisnotlost1]

I left the gym this morning about 8.15 and, as I did, saw someone arrive and drive the wrong way around the car park. It’s not huge but there’s an overflow which adds about 15-20 steps onto the walk back to the building. There’s also a second overflow which would add about 60 seconds.

I sat in my car to send a difficult emails - to do with bereavement - and I did this there so I could leave it behind and come home and focus on the day. It would have taken about 5 or 6 minutes.

So I start dealing with it and the wrong way driver an older lady, just for visualisation purposes, knocks on my window and asks me if I’m leaving. Yes, I say, it not for about 5 minutes. She asks me to ‘just pull out and wait somewhere’. I say I can’t, because you’ve driven the wrong way around the car park and now you’re blocking the exit. She insists she isn’t and she ‘needs’ the space because the car park is full. She hasn’t been to the overflow.

I look at her gobsmacked, but then ask where is it she expects me to go, and she then gets flustered and says don’t worry about. Ok I say, closing my door. When I left, there were a couple of empty spaces but by then she’d parked on the grass verge on the exit road.

AIBU?

YANBU - she should have used the overflow/s or driven around a bit like anyone else.

YABU - immediately leaving the car park at busy times is just the right thing to do.

Then the woman needs to use her words and say she has a disability.

OP wasn’t parked in a blue badge bay.

You did nothing wrong

That is just awful. What sort of person wants to cause upset to someone else and laugh about it. She must have such a sad and empty life.

She doesn't need to give strangers her medical details. The OP had finished in the gym so she wasn't entitled to a space in the gym car park.

If it's a paid car parking space, you rented it for however long, enjoy it.

If it's free parking for the gym - bit cheeky.

Nope, that’s not how it works. The parking space is OP’s for however long she is entitled to stay there, whether it’s 3 hours or whatever.

The other woman wasn’t entitled to OP’s space. If she wanted a kindness from OP, she should have asked her nicely instead of ‘just pull out and wait somewhere’ and explained why she needs the space.

My mum has a blue badge, I deal with idiots all the time.

YABU. The nature of the email has nothing to do with it.

Nah, you did nothing wrong.

YABU to hog a parking space because you're using it as a temporary office. Go somewhere else to do your emails.

Her age has nothing to do with it. The ageism on Mumnset is terrible.

Unless you were improperly using a priority parking space (e.g disabled) YANBU. The lady could have used one of the other car parks.

The gym should consider changing the closest car park to priority parking only. That way everyone who can, parks in the overflow spaces.

Pay for your fuel, move your car, then do your weekly shop.

Please read again!

I think you were being a bit unreasonable…my kids school have a smallish car park which can be used by parents at pick up as no nearby street parking.The amount of parents who snag a space, get their kids then stand around in the car park next to their car, having a good old chinwag with the other parents while there is a massive queue of people waiting to pick up strikes me as particularly dickish behaviour. Spaces are a premium and it’s just decent manners to give up the space for someone else once you have used it for the purpose for which is provided.

If she was younger I’d have said that too. For me it’s not relevant, but others might have had a different view - ie ‘young people are so entitled’ or, someone suggested she might have had mobility needs. I’m middle aged myself so wasn’t intended to belittle her.

That’s a different situation. In this case there was an overflow car park the woman could have used.

If you hadn’t put her age, people would have asked how old is she. You can’t win on MN.

Funny you mention parents because as I drive home I pass two schools and the number of illegally parked and suddenly braking parents was quite jarring.

I’d agree it is a bit annoying when others are waiting - but I think it’s one of those annoying things you can’t control, rather than thinking it’s reasonable to ask someone else to inconvenience themselves for your own convenience. You don’t have any more right to those spaces than they do, they just got there first and you’re annoyed. Sometimes people park outside my house, should I ask them to move to a different parking space so I don’t have to walk as far? Probably not.

Exactly what I thought.

That would be unreasonable I agree - Teams calls at the steering wheel etc. Five minutes? I could have been waiting for a friend to come out, having a drink, changing my glasses…

I think the difference is that people will naturally look for people heading back to their cars when looking for a space. And by going back to your car you inadvertently signal that your space is about to become free.

But the other woman should just have gone to the overflow carpark.

But if you're the annoying person making other people wait, it is within YOUR control.

You sound self absorbed and I would have moved too.

I’d agree with that. There are disabled spots closest to the entrance, I was at the farthest away part of the main car park. I often have to go to the overflow. By the time I drove out (literally five minutes) there were spots closer to the door.

OP's car could have broken down and she was trying to arrange repair/recovery for all the other driver knew. What would she be expected to do then? Push the car back out of the parking spot?

And many times I’ve had to wait, or drive around, or park somewhere else. Some days you’re the pigeon, some days you’re the statue.