Leaving a parking space because someone else wants it

[Allisnotlost1]

I left the gym this morning about 8.15 and, as I did, saw someone arrive and drive the wrong way around the car park. It’s not huge but there’s an overflow which adds about 15-20 steps onto the walk back to the building. There’s also a second overflow which would add about 60 seconds.

I sat in my car to send a difficult emails - to do with bereavement - and I did this there so I could leave it behind and come home and focus on the day. It would have taken about 5 or 6 minutes.

So I start dealing with it and the wrong way driver an older lady, just for visualisation purposes, knocks on my window and asks me if I’m leaving. Yes, I say, it not for about 5 minutes. She asks me to ‘just pull out and wait somewhere’. I say I can’t, because you’ve driven the wrong way around the car park and now you’re blocking the exit. She insists she isn’t and she ‘needs’ the space because the car park is full. She hasn’t been to the overflow.

I look at her gobsmacked, but then ask where is it she expects me to go, and she then gets flustered and says don’t worry about. Ok I say, closing my door. When I left, there were a couple of empty spaces but by then she’d parked on the grass verge on the exit road.

AIBU?

YANBU - she should have used the overflow/s or driven around a bit like anyone else.

YABU - immediately leaving the car park at busy times is just the right thing to do.

Personally, when I have experience of being the statue, I try harder not to be the pigeon.

She sounds unfamiliar with the layout. Did you tell her about the overflow?

Cheeky person. I would have stayed and said no.

You’re right, I don’t know if she had a hidden disability. From what I could see, she didn’t have a mobility problem. And she didn’t tell me she needed the space because other car parks were too far to walk. If she had, I’d have moved for her. Of course she doesn’t have to tell me anything, but then it’s very hard to know.

As it was, I was parked as far as possible away from the building, while within the main car park. When I left, she’d parked further away on a grass verge. If she’d needed a blue badge space, one was available.

Ye it’s 6 of one half a dozen of the other. Both of you were unreasonable

Me too, but sometimes it’s inevitable. Hanging around for 5 minutes doesn’t seem that pigeony for me.

🤣

You were not pigeony at all.

What a great new adjective, henceforth, I will call annoying people pigeony.

Alright alright! Blimey. Someone pissed on your cornflakes!

Easy to solve OP. Get out the car park, go home, send email. Then this confrontation wouldn’t have happened. Can’t believe you have time in your day to argue with an elderly(and possibly confused) lady.

I don't agree those two examples are the same. Blocking a pump at the petrol station is selfish I agree but it's not the same as staying in your parking space, also there were other spaces available!

To those saying the OP was BU, if there was a cafe at the gym and she had gone there for a coffee and to do her admin would she still BU? Or is it the fact she's sat in her car? I am genuinely curious as I just can't see the issue with what OP did.

If there’s an easy to reach overflow then it’s fine. If it was the only car park - then I’d have moved.

If there’s an easy to reach overflow then it’s fine. If it was the only car park - then I’d have moved.

If there’s an easy to reach overflow then it’s fine. If it was the only car park - then I’d have moved.

No idea why that posted 3x.

that's what the yellow disabled spaces are for - if she has a blue badge, she can use them.

knocks on my window and asks me if I’m leaving. Yes, I say, it not for about 5 minutes. She asks me to ‘just pull out and wait somewhere’. I say I can’t, because you’ve driven the wrong way around the car park and now you’re blocking the exit. She insists she isn’t and she ‘needs’ the space because the car park is full. She hasn’t been to the overflow.

The asking was fine - trying to get you to leave before your ready is where the overstepping is - less so if there were no other options.

What’s her age got to do with it?

Well Op, I don’t think you were being unreasonable, but lesson learned.

Next time, sit in Reception and send your email, that way you are not visible to those who would harass you to vacate a space.

Ultimately, they are no better off, but less hassle for you.

Next time you'll just know to say 'no' when asked if you're leaving. That was your error!

I don't think this is a right or wrong question but one of courtesy and kindness. The situation was resolved so we can only assume that you are asking on here for honest feedback from others.

I seem to be in the minority here but I don't think that you acted kindly in your actions or in your descriptions; 'older' lady, driving the wrong way round the car park, got flustered, blocked the exit, parked badly etc..

It sounds as though she approached you politely and did not make a fuss (other than to get a bit 'flustered'). She didn't stick around to argue with you about it.

None of us, including you, OP, know what is going on in this woman's life or what her morning has been like.

I felt sad reading your post, to be honest. I think the polite thing to do would just have been to say 'no problem at all' and let her have the space.

I get that the content of your email was difficult (and I think you have mentioned that so that people will side with you on this but you could have sent it from the gym or a cafe if you didn't want to send it from home). FWIW I have had to send a similar message this morning to someone but I would not have inconvenienced or not been very kind to someone else whilst doing so.

OP did nothing wrong, I often duck into my car between classes to send emails. I had 20 minutes today and did just that! I also park at the gym and wait in my car (on my phone, shocker!) while I wait for my dcs to finish their activities! If you asked me to move, I'd say no and expect you to move on graciously.

If she had blocked the car park did she expect OP to drive the wrong way round to leave, I wouldn't be hapoy doing that. Surely the easiest thing for everyone would have been for her to exit and go to the overflow.

I would not sit in my car doing whatever if I was aware there was someone waiting - it doesn’t matter which way she drove into the car park. I find it totally frustrating when people sit there - I don’t care how important your email was you could do it before, after or when you start work. If someone sees me walk to my car and I’m not leaving right away (occasionally if shopping I will dump my bags in the car and go off again) I would indicate this to whomever is waiting.

I'd have said, "I said I'm busy and I'll be five minutes. Either wait or park elsewhere." Closed the window/door and got on with what I was doing.

Now that’s ageism! She definitely wasn’t confused, or elderly, and neither of us argued.

I didn’t know she was waiting until she knocked me, and I immediately told her I’d be five minutes.