Leaving a parking space because someone else wants it

[Allisnotlost1]

I left the gym this morning about 8.15 and, as I did, saw someone arrive and drive the wrong way around the car park. It’s not huge but there’s an overflow which adds about 15-20 steps onto the walk back to the building. There’s also a second overflow which would add about 60 seconds.

I sat in my car to send a difficult emails - to do with bereavement - and I did this there so I could leave it behind and come home and focus on the day. It would have taken about 5 or 6 minutes.

So I start dealing with it and the wrong way driver an older lady, just for visualisation purposes, knocks on my window and asks me if I’m leaving. Yes, I say, it not for about 5 minutes. She asks me to ‘just pull out and wait somewhere’. I say I can’t, because you’ve driven the wrong way around the car park and now you’re blocking the exit. She insists she isn’t and she ‘needs’ the space because the car park is full. She hasn’t been to the overflow.

I look at her gobsmacked, but then ask where is it she expects me to go, and she then gets flustered and says don’t worry about. Ok I say, closing my door. When I left, there were a couple of empty spaces but by then she’d parked on the grass verge on the exit road.

AIBU?

YANBU - she should have used the overflow/s or driven around a bit like anyone else.

YABU - immediately leaving the car park at busy times is just the right thing to do.

Both unreasonable imo

You had the space first, I often sit and eat in my car after going to supermarket or whatever.

Of course YANBU, those that are saying the car park isn't for admin have made me actually laugh. So you never get back in the car from doing whatever you have been doing and check messages or reply to someone?
I quite often buy my lunch at a supermarket and then sit in the car in the car park and eat it...oh the horror!!!
There was other parking available, the other lady just didn't want to use it, she was BU not you.

Always 'an older lady' - it wouldn't be so bad, but do you ever see reference made to 'a younger lady'??

YANBU

And some of the posters in this thread sound batshit.

Of course you're allowed to sit in your car for 5 minutes before you leave.

I would have just told her she needed to wait. And if she huffed and puffed it was her own issue.

If it’s like the car park at our gym YABU. Space is at a premium and you shouldn’t be doing admin there.
Its almost as bad as people at petrol stations deciding to do their stretches/texting/ coffee sorting out whilst still at the pump.

At my gym people park in disabled spaces with no blue badge, and up on the curb of the car park, just because they won’t walk 50 yards to the overflow. It’s unbelievable that people who are going there to get fit, just won’t walk 50 yards.

So is driving the wrong way around.

Meh. If there were no spaces in the overflow car parks, YA(possibly)BU. But there were spaces, so YANBU.

I wonder if she wasn't aware of the other car parks, given she also drove round the wrong way? Could be new to the gym perhaps?

Either way, rushing someone else out of a parking space is rude. My husband has type 1 diabetes and has to check his blood sugars before driving (by law they need to be at least 5.0mmol/l). If he needs to check them with a manual finger prick, this is best done in the car where he has his kitbag and testing stuff with him. It takes a couple of minutes to do the test. Perhaps he would be seen as unreasonable by sitting in the car 😂🙄

People who hog a pump while they conduct their weekly shop in the Tesco Express. Pay for your fuel, move your car, then do your weekly shop. Simples. Winds me right up.

So is driving around the wrong way and blocking the exit!

I would have smiled sweetly and asked if the overflow car parks were full. Sometimes the car is the only place you can get undisturbed time.

If you were within your paid for slot, it makes no difference whether you were using the gym or catching up on emails. It was your slot. I bet she didn't pay for parking having parked on the verge.

If you were sitting in your car without it on, then take as long as you need.
If you are sitting in your car with your car idling and your reverse lights on then you need to move!

It's not "batshit" to say that sitting in your car taking up a spaces when you are done using the facility the parking is for is a bit inconsiderate.

Like others have said, it's the same as blocking a petrol pump for 10 minutes rather than moving your car if you you want to spend 10 minutes in the shop before paying for petrol. Sure, there is nothing to stop you but equally it's just a bit unnecessarily selfish.

Neither of you are wrong really. You had that parking space for as long as you needed it (assuming there were no signs dictating length of stay) and she asked if you were leaving which she was well in her right to ask if there were no other obvious spaces.

Ignore her, she could (possibly in another lifetime) have caught you @ an even more difficult moment…
For future use in similar circumstances maybe rehearse other replies, that will force some1 to immediately back off! …I’m dreaming up crazy things now😊, justincase it ever happens to me—- can she empty my shewee, my false leg has become detached, waiting for disabled partner, brandish an umbrella etc.etc.

I think the interaction started reasonably - "are you leaving?"/"yes but I'll be a few minutes yet".

She was in the wrong to then demand that you moved. You had the spot. You were preparing to leave. Meanwhile, she was heading the wrong way round a one-way system and blocking the exit. She should have kept circling. I appreciate that a busy car park can get frustrating and perhaps this eclipsed her judgement, but that's not your responsibility. You weren't being unreasonable.

shoujld have just said no im not going and carried on with what youre doing

i hate people going wrong way round the car park-one person said to me it doesnt matter because its not a road

You did the right thing.

At my gym there are people who have theur SET PLACES in the gym studio for classes.
I joke to my friend about getting there really early and taking their spots. Just to see what they would do .

I thought that the pump wouldn't release fuel to the next customer until after you've paid, so doesn't really matter if you move your car or not?

We have none of these near me, so no real experience so apologies if wrong.

Back to OP - I'm on your side. Don't see anything unreasonable unless there really were no other spaces in any of the carparks you mentioned.

That’s a good idea. Will remember this!

I was mostly not bothered until you wrote this. You don’t know if she has a mobility problem. Not all disabilities are visible. My husband has a life-limiting disease and walking any distance for him is painful and leaves him breathless, but you’d never know it to look him, or if he’d just got out of a car briefly. And yes, he does still go to the gym because it’s essential, and he doesn’t have a blue badge, btw.

Then surely the answer is to apply for a Blue Badge? They are easy to obtain if you have medical reasons. We have one for my DD’s Autism/ADHD surprisingly.

Why should she? OP is a paying customer like everyone else.

The woman was just too lazy to walk to park in the overflow car park.

I mean I get it, I like to park as close to my gym as possible and then do 5km on the treadmill (yes, the irony doesn’t escape me) but I would never expect anyone to move for me to indulge my laziness.