Maternity leave-how did you sort bills with partner?

[walkingismedicine]

How did everyone sort mortgage/rent and bills while on maternity leave?

Did you continue to share bills as you did before maternity leave so you used your savings but DP didn’t, did your DP pay more than they did before leave and you less, did you both equally use your savings?

UABU- each party continued to pay the same as before maternity leave
UANBU- DP paid more

My DH contributed more whilst I was on maternity leave so that I didn’t have to use my savings.

The same as before. Be both had the same amount of fun money each and the rest went in the pot. When may pay was less than our fun money I took my fun money out of the pot.

We always pooled money regardless of who earned more. We shared what was left after essentials, savings etc.

Pooled money, paid bills, split what was left.

I cannot conceive of being with someone who would expect me to pay 50/50 when I was on SMP.

It was the one time in our relationship we pooled our money.

Whichever choice you go with, keeping money separate or pooling, you shouldn’t be penalised for looking after a baby too young for nursery. You both need to save to cover the difference maternity creates or the working parent needs to cover a much higher proportion of bills

We just shared everything and so there was nothing to work out. One pot and all income went in there and all bills out.

My husband paid, I contributed to expenses in general but not as much as I usually would due to being on reduced maternity pay.

We pooled everything from the start so we just had a smaller pot whilst I was on mat leave. We were on the same page with fun so there was never any scrutinising what was spent personally for fun

We treat it as shared anyway so everything goes into the same bank account. We have the same amount of fun/disposable money go into our personal accounts each month, everything else is shared (but we are married so legally its all "marital assets" anyway, regardless of who's salary it is). We did exactly the same during mat leave, it just meant the overall pot was smaller during the unpaid months.

All money pooled together for bills same amount of fun money to spend? What’s the other option you spend all your savings whilst your “d”p merrily continues with his life?

can never understand how someone can have a child with a man doesn’t voluntarily want to support them 🤯

We re-calculate our split every year based on changing costs and salaries. We did the same while I was on maternity leave so DH paid for more.

It depends who is earning the most surely?

All bills come out of joint account (only joint thing we have) so we each put in what we got each month with us both keeping the same set amount of spending money each

It's all joint money as far as I am concerned (for the record I earn a lot more than my DH). He took a few months off after I went back to work, and not for one second did I ever consider that he would have less pocket money than me or contribute from his savings. He was. after all, taking care of our child, which is a very important job. I can't believe this is even a topic for discussion.
OP I am sorry for you if your partner is suggesting that you take time off to look after yours and his child, and be financially penalised for it.

We share everything. Any other way just seems too difficult but I know people have babies with people who are controlling, poor with money etc so might need a different approach.

That’s the point at which DP and I started properly sharing money. Worked out a budget, all money in one pot, both have own accounts where we have the exact same fun money which is just our own spends. We have spending accounts separately for food and kids spends, this helps us budget. If money wasn’t tight everything would just go in and come out of one account.

we have continued to share money ever since, I’m the higher earner while DP works part time and does more childcare. We couldn’t work out a fairer way, we couldn’t make percentages/ splitting bills work for us.

Likewise we pooled it and each took the same fun money, although we didn’t work like that beforehand, as we earned very similar amounts. Now I’m on slightly reduced hours we’ve continued taking the same amount of fun money each and pooling the rest. We have enough fun money to spend and each independently save a bit for anything bigger that we personally want to buy.

You shouldn't have to use your savings to pay half of bills.

You're growing a baby for both of you, you shouldn't be financially penalised for that.

If you don't share finances then you should both use savings to make up the shortfall from your salary, for the months you're not getting full pay.

We lived overseas when I had our baby and I didn't have any money coming in, my husband paid all the bills and transferred money to my account every month for anything I needed if he wasn't with me to pay. If I needed more I just asked for it and he put more in without question. There was never any question of it being different because we were both doing our "jobs" as such, his just brought in the money.

I absolutely despair when women (often unmarried) coming on here saying the father of their child expects them to continue paying 50/50. Mind you, I think the same when one outearns the other but still expect a 50/50 contribution.

We pooled our money and worked as a financial team. If a man suggested I touch my savings while he kept his so we could have a baby, we would not be having a baby together, nor would we have a relationship going forward.

All money pooled together and bills paid out of that. No way would I agree to have children or sacrifice my career had my DH not agreed to that. Having children is a joint responsibility so costs should be shared. If one income reduced then the other should step up whether due to sickness, maternity leave or redundancy.

We pool all money so there was just less in the total pot. DH took Shared Parental Leave too so we took it in turns to contribute less financially but instead making the irreplaceable contribution of looking after our tiny baby!

Please don’t stay with a man who expects you to lose out financially for looking after HIS child! What a pathetic excuse for a man.

We are married, all money is joint money and stayed that way on maternity leave.

My DP topped up my mat pay so I still had my usual salary and we continued as we were before (50/50).

UANBU.