Maternity leave-how did you sort bills with partner?

[walkingismedicine]

How did everyone sort mortgage/rent and bills while on maternity leave?

Did you continue to share bills as you did before maternity leave so you used your savings but DP didn’t, did your DP pay more than they did before leave and you less, did you both equally use your savings?

UABU- each party continued to pay the same as before maternity leave
UANBU- DP paid more

You're having a baby so you're a family,should be shared money. And if youre not married, charge him for childcare while you're off and dont downsize your career

Some women get their salary whilst on leave...

We saved so we had the same
money available to us each month as my normal salary (we do the same job and have the same basic salary) so didn’t struggle too much.
We have a joint account and everything is paid for out of that bar our own (same) allowance each month.

Honestly I think any option other than pooled money leaves women open to financial abuse later down the line.
This baby will impact your career for years, not just whilst you’re on leave.

This OP.

Im on mat leave now and there has been no question of me having onto magic money up to remain 50:50. If anything my husband regularly checks in to see whether I need any (we have separate accounts but are very open).

My DH paid all bills.

Also worth considering how you are going to pay for childcare and split covering sickness etc now - if he wants you to use savings to cover "your share" while looking after your shared newborn & recovering from birth, will childcare also be expected to come from your salary, & will you be the one taking time off for every sick bug...

This is very presumptive. How do you know baby will impact her career without knowing any of the details / her set up?

Any man who suggests that the mother of their child should use their savings to pay for maternity leave is a total red flag. Just astounding how you'd not just pool money altogether and pay for family bills together as a FAMILY.

Ok, any baby impacts 90% of women’s careers for years. Apologies.

Shared pot. I think someone who expects that their partner should lose out financially in order to recover from birth and care for their shared newborn, while they get to carry on earning and saving the same as they did before, is a giant red flag - it shows that they expect (usually) the woman to make all the sacrifices and regard it as a holiday for the woman that they shouldn't have to pay for. In these circumstances I'd be insisting on shared parental leave so they can run down their own savings

Can’t vote as we share everything. It’s a household income. I had a neighbour who had to use savings and take out a credit card whilst on Mat leave whilst her husband merrily carried on with all his expensive hobbies. Absolute insanity! Please don’t be this person. Whichever way you decide to do it kids are a joint expense.

The fact she it taking maternity leave at all will most likely impact her career, as it does for many women.

That’s without factoring in returning to work, childcare settling, illness, school holidays etc. It’s just real life.

We have joint finances anyway so all bills will continue to come out of that.

From the vote you’ve set up, I’m guessing your partner has some expectation that you can continue to contribute similarly?

If so, that’s not ok. You are literally taking poorly paid leave, unless you have excellent maternity benefits, and impacting your career to be the primary carer for his child. In most economies the paid version of this - childcare - is extremely expensive. I do hope this is not the situation you’re facing.

Why is this even a question?
All your money is pooled. All your bills are paid out of that. You both have the same amount of savings as each other. If any is left over you split it and spend it on person fun stuff.

Just baffled that this is even a question. Of course once one person is doing the unpaid work of childcare for a joint child, they are going to put less in. One pot. All income in, all bills/kids paid for, split the remainder 50/50.

I know people say you should discuss this before having kids, but I will hold my hands up that I didn’t discuss it at all with my husband. And that’s because it’s obvious to everyone that his income would have to cover all 3 of us, then 4, for a while.

We opened a joint account towards the end of my pregnancy and both got paid into that

We pooled all our money and paid bills from that.

If your partner expects you to pay half the bills while on maternity, I'd ask him how he's going to manage to do half the childcare while he's working.

We both paid the same for bills but we had both saved equally before and used those joint savings to supplement my salary so neither of us were out of pocket basically

Just being pregnant costs you money. Things like maternity clothing or higher transportation costs. He should be contributing to that as well.

I'm guessing you're not married, are you already pregnant?

My DH covered ALL household expenses whilst I was on maternity, only a complete cunt of a man wouldn't.

Do not leave yourself financially vulnerable @walkingismedicine

ETA: He should also be paying into your private pension whilst you're out of work raising his child.

This.

We have a joiner account and outwith mat leave I pay in x amount to cover the bills that come from that and he pays in the same or a bit more. This covers all bills. Last mat leave I only got stat mat pay so no longer paid toward the bills and my husband covered them all and my pitiful mat pay was for me and day to day costs, baby groups, clothes for me and baby etc. If I ever needed anything he covered it no questions asked. 2nd time I’ll get full pay for 6 months then stat and we also have £800 a month nursery bills on top of the rest so I’ll contribute but not the full amount.

Whilst I was on full pay, we kept things the same. When I went to SMP, he paid my share, when I went to unpaid, he paid for everything. I never touched mine or our joint savings. We kept things separate before children (although married) but join all our money now.

@ReadingSoManyThreads you'd be surprised how many men are like this. My sister married one and told her she'd have to ask my parents to give her money to ensure she paid her 50%. He didn't get better but she eventually wised up. Another married friend had similar. It's disgusting really.