Maternity leave-how did you sort bills with partner?

[walkingismedicine]

How did everyone sort mortgage/rent and bills while on maternity leave?

Did you continue to share bills as you did before maternity leave so you used your savings but DP didn’t, did your DP pay more than they did before leave and you less, did you both equally use your savings?

UABU- each party continued to pay the same as before maternity leave
UANBU- DP paid more

No, I was just interested to read the stats. You continue to be presumptive.

My point stands, you still don’t know OP’s set up. Which was my only point, and remains the case.

I never suggested OP should pay anything out of her savings. Nor did I say father’s should expect it.

He paid them. Why wouldn’t he? I wouldn’t have a child with someone who expected me to contribute to bills whilst I was on mat leave

I've had 7 months off and until I'm on SMP my enhanced maternity pay is the larger pay, so we're just evening out. He's taking 5 months after Christmas and I will cover most of that because he will be on either basic or unpaid leave by then. But we usually split everything about 35/65 so that we have the same "fun" money or savings left over. I'm considering offering to be the sole earner because I would love him to be at home with our daughter, but I'm going to see how he does in the 5 months SPL!

We have always had joint finances including joint savings so during mat leave that just continued as normal. Nothing would put me off a man quicker than sitting quibbling over who pays what. I suppose it helps that we have always had roughly similar earnings but obviously during both my maternity leaves mine dropped like a stone but we still carried on as usual.

I contributed as normal when I was on my enhanced package. When it went to SMP, we covered my share from some savings and some extra of DH's pay.

we Have always shared finances so I guess that meant my husband was paying more. But it’s all the same money. We did need to have more conversations before spending just because there was less overall - so just running things past each other and keeping on top of it as we are always both spending from the same account

We’ve always shared finances so it was just one pot during mat leave, same before and since. When I went down to no pay he cashed in an ISA he’d had since before we had met to top up the pot.

Crickey.
DH earns triple me and just puts all his money in the pot . Always has . We share everything.

Id be so turned off by this calculation business.

All money shared including current accounts and savings. Some in my name, some in his, main day to day current account joint. We are paid into our own accounts and transfer salary to joint account and transfer savings to that account.
Would discuss big purchases but absolutely never begrudge little luxuries, and there's been times I've been earning nothing on maternity leave and times he's been earning nothing on shared parental leave or other time out of work.
It's all family money.
I honestly cannot understand friend's situations when I hear people talking about how they have paid for all the kid's clothes and now can't take them on a day out, whilst dad is paying for a season ticket to football. Or mum can't go back to work because her wage doesn't cover the nursery bill- the bill that should be covered by both parents allowing them both to work.

Our money went into joint account. So once I was the unpaid part, he paid everything. And I just spent what I wanted.
We both paid into our savings accounts.

Having a baby with someone who is not prepared to pool money is not a good ideal.

We pooled money and have done since then - I still work 4 days and do a higher share of house mental load even though kids are big now (15,19 and 21).

Otherwise how is fair if the man has more money for discretionary purchases because the woman is on SMP or paying for childcare.

Google the phrase “motherhood penalty”. It doesn’t matter if you are a high earner, being a mother is shown to statistically lower your earning potential compared to what you would have earned if you were childless. Ironically, the effect is reversed for men. Even if women try to individually prevent impacts to their own careers, they still face societal bias.

Everything into one pot.
Bills and living expenses paid from that pot.
Anything left over, split between us as fun money.

If he's going to insist you pay your 'half' I'd strongly suggest splitting maternity leave, and letting some of the unpaid portion be taken by the sperm donar.

Yep, this. All into one pot.

What if this poster wants to tackle the finances this way? DH and I do the same and it suits me perfectly.

Same as before - everything in one pot and everything paid out of that account. Anything either of us ever wants just gets bought out of the shared account.

Oh, trust me, if I heard of a woman doing what I did, I would absolutely tell them they were an utter fool! 😂But at the time (way back in the day) we couldn't have a joint account in the country we were in. And I've honestly never felt awkward asking for extra because it's "our" money and just a matter of location. Feels about the same as asking him to pass the butter! It's really hard to explain because no one on here has met my husband. And I know everyone says they didn't see it coming and they thought their man was a good man when he leaves them with nothing etc etc. And I admit I'd be thinking the same if I read someone else saying it. And maybe I AM that fool, but it's worked for us for 20-odd years so...

😂 3 months of SPL with our first and my husband was grateful to go back to work where before SPL he wanted to be a SAHD for a 2 years (on career break from work). He did drop to part time though (I'm also the higher earner) which we found a good balance with nursery the rest of the time.

Parental leave for dad's can be even more isolating so encourage groups attendance etc and some areas have dad's meet ups.

It was all shared money anyway. So yes he paid more because he was earning more. I cannot imagine being with someone who expects you to fund maternity leave for his child when you have a much reduced income.

This too. All money pooled regardless.

All money pooled. Equal savings in individual names from pool.

If he expects you to put in the same as before, make sure you charge him 50% of the full time child care rate for staying home to look after his child

This. Over 25 years it has worked out fine through redundancies, different salary levels, maternity leave. By far the simplest route. Due to inheritance recently I have probably been a net contributor, that's fine by me, he supported me through my PhD.

5050 while on full pay.

He covered everything after when i went onto unpaid and sent me half the leftover money.

It was never going to be a case of him "protecting" his money - if I'd wanted a single joint account that would have been fine.

When i went back to work part time he insisted anything like non-work days out with DC were funded jointly (Inc coffee shop trips).

He also reduced his hours and did some childcare himself and shared the housework.

Basically he isn't an insecure weedy little man that thinks women are out to get his money.

He wanted a wife and kids so he became a husband and a father.

Joint account, everything pooled. Also got married immediately.