Devastated: boy keeps trying to touch DD's private parts

[DevastatedMama]

My DD started Reception this year. She absolutely loves school and was so excited to start. She's been so happy there and thriving already, and I've been so relieved and proud.
Fast forward to today, and while chatting about what new friends she's made, she mentioned this boy is constantly chasing her at play time and tries and touch her private parts, even putting his hands down her pants. She's told him no, but he doesn't stop. I called the school straight away, and they'll talk to the boy and his parents, and will talk to the class about private parts, boundaries etc. starting tomorrow.

I am absolutely devastated though, thinking that for the past few days, that's what has been happening to her while I think she's safe at school, and now the idea of sending her back tomorrow and for years to come makes me feel sick to my core. The most dramatic part of me wants to instantly homeschool her (I know it wouldn't work for me or for her though) or to demand that this boy is put in another class (although as this happens mainly at break time, I'm not sure that'd make a difference).

What can I do to make sure this doesn't happen, ever again? Can I ask the teachers to keep an eye always, and keep him away from her at all times? I know this probably isn't possibel though. Anyone has been through this?
I genuinely feel physically sick and also devastated as she really loves school and no2 has to endure this physically harassment. I'm gutted!

Completely understand how you feel op.

You need to speak to the DSL this is a huge concern. Where has he learned this behaviour???

ask them how they will safeguard your daughter and protect her in future and if you're not happy don't send her this is awful.

Is be talking to the safeguarding lead at the school. It's a safeguarding issue for your DD and I'd want to know how they're protecting her but it's also a massive safeguarding responsibility flag for the boy. The school can't and won't tell you what they do in terms of the boy but I'd want to make sure the safeguarding lead is aware of it.

This is the statutory guidance that schools and colleges in England must follow.

It will help you to know what the school must do.

Part 5 - Child on Child Sexual Violence and Sexual Harrassment is the relevant section.
https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/68add931969253904d155860/Keeping_children_safe_in_education_from_1_September_2025.pdf

I completely understand how you feel.

But be proud of yourself for raising a daughter who stood and said no firmly to the boy - you’ve done a good job and she’s clearly a bright girls with good boundaries.

The sad reality of life is that you cant stop the bad - you can only do what you’ve done and teach how to not accept it.

Put everything that happens in writing to the school, including your understanding of any conversation

Ask the school exactly. How they’ll keep,your daughter safe

You ask them how they are going to keep her safe and make sure they do.

As hard as it is, try not to let her see how upset you are in case she feels the her that telling you has made you sad and she feels like she should keep quiet in future to protect you.

Can she wear some tight stretch shorts under her dress for a while in case it isn’t resolved.

If it was me, I'd go into the school tomorrow and tell them everything and not send my DC in until they told me how they planned on keeping her safe.

Your daughter has been sexually assaulted by this boy. I’d be going into school in the morning and making that clear to them and asking that safeguarding is escalated immediately and the parents of that boy do not bring him into school until this is investigated fully!!

so good you’re into this now OP! I’d be on the barricades with this. Absolutely unacceptable. But I assume that the school’s leadership team will take this very seriously. The boy needs to be suspended until this has been worked out

Peer on peer abuse is increasing in schools it could be he's experienced something at home or seen something to act like this or it could be a child touching and crossing boundaries the two are different.

Regardless the school should have a safeguarding lead and policy you can ask to meet them and your child's teacher to discuss and if you're not satisfied, asked to speak to the School governor responsible for safeguarding

Fucking hell. Physical harassment is pushing over, pushing in line etc…. This is much more than that.
Needs reporting to police too, yes of course the boy is well under 10 so won’t arrest him but your child is not too young to be a victim. The police and social will want a good look at his home life….
Response from school is a disgrace. I’d not be sending my child there ever again, and I’d be reporting the safeguarding failure to Ofstead as well as education department at council. (Assuming council run - if academy the highest up email you can find).
No mention at all of what they’ll do to keep your daughter safe? Honestly I’d homeschool if this happened, maybe try a different school down the line , but as a minimum keep her off until you feel confident they understand they’ve got a duty to keep your daughter safe.
Obviously the boy needs to be kept in or supervised if out at play time as ideal solution, and I hope it doesn’t come across that I mean your daughter shouldn’t be punished by changing schools etc… BUT the schools response makes me think they don’t really want to do their duty of keeping children safe. I just wouldn’t want to send my child to a school I knew this happened to someone else, not alone my own child

They should be looking into the boy's parents imo.

She's so little and having to go through this. I would be watching how the school handle this very carefully. You may need to be a tiger for your daughter.

Go in with her tomorrow and ask to speak to safe guarding.

Its not normal for a child to try and put hands down another's trousers. Ask what precautions are being taken to keep dd safe

I am so sorry OP.

I would be there first thing in the morning and want to know exactly how they were going to safeguard my daughter.

Any indications that they weren’t taking this seriously and I would be escalating the matter and keeping my child out of there until further notice.

Has your daughter got the confidence to go and tell a teacher as soon as it happens?
Maybe she has already told a teacher, if so what did they do at the time?
This situation is totally unacceptable and the school needs to be dealing with it a lot better than what they are!

Sorry, I had to respond to this quickly: English isn't my 1st language, so I am using the words that first came to mind in English. I agree this is sexual harrassment.

had similar with my dd age 4 in preschool. boy trying to touch her and asked her to show him pictures of her private parts. i reported as obvious safeguarding concern at home. since have totally separated him from her and spoke to his family - seems okay now but if it ever happens again i will be escalating it. makes me furious just thinking about it

What is that poor child being subjected to at home to think this behavior is ok it obviously a learnt behavior from someone in the home be it mum or dad who knows

I'd report to police. He's far too young to be displaying this behaviour, this is likely something that is being done to him and he is copying.

Obviously completely unacceptable and I'd be teaching my children that if someone tries to touch you there, you respond with as much violence as necessary and tell an adult. But that boy is a victim too, I'd stake money on it.

This is really horrifying, but I'm confused, how would she have shown him pictures at preschool? He asked her to draw them or something? If so that sounds a bit more sinister, my son of that age only thinks to draw rainbows or houses... or scribbles!