AIBU to think my American neighbour is taking this too far?

[MelaniaLovesLemon]

She’s already invited us to Thanksgiving (yes, in September) and has given me a little to-do list...
Bring a casserole, make miniature turkeys out of whole walnuts(?), and have something prepared to say about what we’re thankful for, and I need to bring my own chair. She’s quirky, loud and brash with a weird husband, and has a habit of turning up unannounced with crazy schemes.

Recently she came for an aperitif in our cute garden, and practically inhaled the entire tin of prawn cocktail Pringles that I was saving for my DS and then simply helped herself to another glass of wine without asking, apparently she wants that wine for the dinner?

Another time she invited me round at 9am to taste test three different types of stuffing, for the Thanksgiving. I could not possibly eat all that at 9am!

I don’t know if I’m being rude thinking this is all a bit much?

I would say Thanksgiving is the bigger deal because it is a national holiday so lots of people have a few days off to visit family, also the kids are on Thanksgiving Break (no half term holidays so that and Spring Break are the big ones). Ideally Thanksgiving should be communal so nobody should be doing all the shopping/cooking on their own, although it is a big effort!

(I am very pleased this has become a Thanksgiving thread; it's making me feel very festive)

I think you sound very rude and very snobbish . I hope she reads this and uninvites you. So what if she prefers Pringles over smoked salmon.

Thanksgiving has always been special for my husband and I as it’s one of the few holidays we both grew up celebrating. He’s Christian and I’m Jewish so there isn’t a lot of overlap on family traditions. We love sharing our histories but it was really nice to have something we both had memories of as children.

So in my family we had a massive Thanksgiving extravaganza but didn’t have Christmas (we went out for Chinese sometimes as per Jewish tradition!). My in-laws had both but like others said - it wouldn’t usually be the same family hosting both holidays and Thanksgiving is more potluck in nature anyway.

one year Thanksgiving overlapped with Chanukah so we made turkey and latkes. We’ve always had too many people and too much food and too much wine and it’s delightful.

That's so funny. We always have latkes on both Thanksgiving and Christmas in memory of my paternal grandfather, who was Jewish. We tend to do them before we sit down to eat, while everyone is milling around with an aperitif (we call it a drink, but thought I'd throw that in to help the OP feel more at home)

Southerners quite like a honey roast ham at Christmas.

Very true, and the ham bone is good for flavoring the black-eyed peas for New Year's Day.

I think there are differences around food and hosting in America. A host would help themselves to food and expect you to likewise help yourself. Example, staying at their home, they have a pot of food on the stove, they'll grab a plate, serve themselves, sit down and eat and not offer you any. But they'll expect you to make yourself at home and help yourself.

Maybe that's the basis your neighbour was operating from when she helped herself to crisps and poured her own wine without waiting to be offered.

I do hope she didn't move her chair out of place and make your cute garden look untidy 😂

Hyacinth, is that you?

I love this, thank you 🤩

Thank you, it’s giving me memories of 80s driving home for Christmas type classics, planes , trains and automobiles anyone?

sacre bleu
Height of the nu sofistication
cute

"Dear neighbour, I would love to attend your Thanksgiving meal, however I am not into crafts or cooking, so if you're happy for me to contribute with some money or store-bought food instead then I will be happy to join. Let me know if this works for you."

This would be whay I would write. But then, I am not British, so what I think and what I say tend to coincide most times.

Good God, I’m so embarrassed. Please don’t think all Americans are this awful. She’s rude, pushy, and over the top, and she’s not a good representative of our culture. Oh dear I’m so mortified 😑

We have had one or two adventures worthy of at least a scene in one of those movies when going north to DH's family, including being stranded somewhere in Ohio in a blizzard. We wound up in a small Mom and Pop hotel (and lucky to get that) with two dogs, two teenagers, and my mother. But we did finally make it to our destination in time for the big feast.

Yes, we have both. It is stressful. It’s a lot.
of course everyone is different, but even with toned down holidays in my family, that period from late November to January first is a sort of pie- cheese- food- coma time. Lots of leftovers 🤣

I do, always have, and if you look at your calndar you'll see bank holidays noted.

I soak my Thanksgiving turkey overnight the night before in a brine that includes brown sugar, salt, oranges and their juice, juniper berries, peppercorns, various herbs, onions, garlic, and ice - I don't have the recipe to hand and I'm pretty sure there are additional ingredients. The turkey browns very well and the meat is incredibly tender. I serve roast potatoes and parsnips, sprouts, green beans, and carrots. I make cranberry sauce with cranberries, sugar, and orange juice, with grated orange peel. I also make gravy. I usually have lots of leftover stuffing (sage and onion) and I freeze it. We have sweet potatoes mashed with butter, S&P, and molasses.

For Christmas, we have the same side dishes but with roast beef.

Isn't that one in fact about going home for Thanksgiving!

It is but in our house it’s part of our Christmas film list

Ha, it’s funny that I forgot about glaze when you can buy honey or maple roast turkey at the deli counter. And I made glazed Cornish hens. But the meat itself isn’t sweet.

I do dry-brined roast turkey with gravy made from homemade stock and drippings. Traditional cooked cranberry sauce with orange zest. Mashed potatoes. Sweet potatoes cooked with brown sugar, orange juice, and a pecan crumble. Roasted sprouts with olive oil and balsamic. Green beans with mushrooms and crispy shallots. Pearl onions.

stuffing is a minefield! I use homemade white bread cubes, but you have cornbread people and white bread people. Adding sausage or even oysters, and meat free. For the meatless, mushrooms or no mushrooms? (We are meatless and mushroomless.)

I love this.,. Now have to google mom and pop hotel 🤣🙌🏼

This is also pretty much what I’d say, also not fully British 🤣

@mathanxiety

Would you mind digging out that brine recipe? It sounds intriguing, and, of course, being American, I'm not hiding under the sofa at the thought of a bit of brown sugar in my food 🙂

Your cranberries sound a lot like the Delia recipe I base mine on. All the same ingredients, but red wine instead of water. If you're really pushing the boat out, half port and half red wine is delicious

@aurynne
@Charredtea

I'd be unhappy if a guest thought I wanted them to contribute money, @OP, please don't ask that. Asking someone to bring a dish (which I don't do) is generally more about the feeling of everyone pitching in than about finances

Grammarnut

Side show to Seven Years war and ‘won’ by Spanish and bankrupted the French and led to the French Revolution and we’re thankful
we got rid of the US when we see what President they ended up with

She sounds delightfully deranged. I would love her but I can see why most would not. Please post pics of walnut turkeys.