AIBU to think my American neighbour is taking this too far?

[MelaniaLovesLemon]

She’s already invited us to Thanksgiving (yes, in September) and has given me a little to-do list...
Bring a casserole, make miniature turkeys out of whole walnuts(?), and have something prepared to say about what we’re thankful for, and I need to bring my own chair. She’s quirky, loud and brash with a weird husband, and has a habit of turning up unannounced with crazy schemes.

Recently she came for an aperitif in our cute garden, and practically inhaled the entire tin of prawn cocktail Pringles that I was saving for my DS and then simply helped herself to another glass of wine without asking, apparently she wants that wine for the dinner?

Another time she invited me round at 9am to taste test three different types of stuffing, for the Thanksgiving. I could not possibly eat all that at 9am!

I don’t know if I’m being rude thinking this is all a bit much?

Why?
That is a pos!!

This. You sound miserable. I would love to go to this.

Thanksgiving is celebrated in my DD's house these days because her husband is American but I have never encountered the walnut turkey thing....

Blimey. I’m atheist and practically a recluse, and would love this. It’s just a harvest festival - which is a traditional thing in many countries, and pagan in origin - by a different name.

And the walnut turkeys are brilliant. I too imagined a shelled walnut affair and would have had to decline on account of them being banned in our house (allergies), but whole walnuts are a whole different thing. I like the ones with the crochet tails and will be making some for the Christmas dinner table.

Or I might celebrate Thanksgiving this year.

For the first 5 1/2 lines I was thinking YANBU - I would hate to be invited for dinner and then given a to-do list.
However, reading on, you don’t sound very pleasant and seem to be a poor host. I wouldn’t be saving Pringles for my DS - if guests finished them before he did then he would understand we are hosting, they are just crisps and easily replaceable so no need for FOMO.
I am not sure what a cute garden is or how that is relevant.

She sounds quite fun if a little full on. You and your cute garden and precious Pringles on the other hand………

I would move house

Your post is in some ways a strange one. You invite her around so are not averse to her company. You have been told by pp that actually you don't have to celebrate Thanksgiving with her but you've said that you have no problem with doing so. This implies degree of friendship beyond that of just neighbours. In that case her treating you as a friend and involving you in the celebration by giving you a task isn't ( in my eyes at least) a big deal. If you are in the UK maybe she just wants to celebrate a holiday that is familiar to her. Different people will have their own tradition in regards to thanksgiving but even I'm aware that many people do a potluck or bring a dish type of celebration. She's trying to involve you which is actually rather sweet and again implies a friendship

As a host you don't sound particularly gracious. As a friend you dont sound that pleasant either.If she is too much then exert your boundaries and say so.

Boxing day is the consolation prize for those who didn't spend time on Christmas day.
Its sitting about on the sofa surrounded by a sea of yesterdays wrapping paper, eating leftover cold potatoes and turkey. If its a posh do you might get bubble and squeak with leftovers, or a turkey soup, but I've never scaled those heights myself.
At about 3/4 everyone might rouse themselves reluctantly for a walk somewhere in the outside world. This walk will invariably be cold, wet and windy. The children will whinge and cry. You might stop at the pub for 1- 4 drinks.
The walk back home will rejuvenate everyone sufficiently that they'll feel physical activity has taken place so its absolutely fine to head back to the sofa for more wine, leftovers and perhaps a movie.
Lots of people will fall asleep on the sofa.
And thats it.

Personally I'd never invite someone for boxing day as then I'd have to tidy up / cook which I absolutely will not want to do after Christmas.

Americans don't sweeten the turkey and mashed potato, for goodness' sake.

Hate to break it to you but this American’s turkey often has a maple syrup glaze, from a recipe by (checks notes) Nigella Lawson.

The walnut turkeys would put me off definitely. But being asked to bring a dish and a chair is quite normal surely.

Equally I wouldn't be upset if someone wanted a 2nd glass of wine or ate snacks that I had opened in their presence. She said she loved the wine 😊. If snacks are to be saved or precious generally don't open them in front of others where wine is involved.

I forgot to ask, and did op ever update: why or how is the garden ‘cute’ ?

There are people all over the UK eating absolute shite too. It's just as possible to avoid milk with hormones and additives there as it is here, and like here, the ability to do so is often related to educational and socioeconomic status. Someone inviting you to a home-cooked Thanksgiving meal is unlikely to have imported special hormone and sugar laden foods unavailable here.

@knitnerd90 Believe it or not, I've never actually had the sweetened sweet potatoes. And we also always do Brussels sprouts - sliced thin and fast roasted with a drizzle of olive oil, sriracha, honey and lime juice.

Hate to break it to you, but Nigella is a Brit, not an American. I'm a Yank in my 60s and have never had a Thanksgiving turkey (or heard of one) with a maple or any kind of sweet glaze. A maple or honey glaze is quite common with baked ham. Perhaps you've gotten the recipes mixed up.

Mashed potatoes are usually whipped with butter, but I have a fab recipe that adds sour cream and cream cheese. Again, I've never heard of them being served with any sweet ingredients.

I think @Mommybunny's point was that Nigella is a Brit and is the one suggesting sweetening the turkey.

Funnily, my Thanksgiving cranberry sauce is, and has been for many, many years, from Delia Smith.
https://www.deliaonline.com/recipes/type-of-dish/preserves/a-confit-of-cranberries-for-serving-with-game-or-duck

I would make the casserole and explain that I wouldn’t have a clue about the walnuts so I wouldn’t be doing them. Just go and experience something different. Have fun!

Aw come on, everyone knows we don’t use “holiday” for that purpose now, whatever its origin 🔨 (gavel)

Yep. I enjoy other cultures'/nationalities' celebrations. But I'd make my excuses regarding anything outside my skill set or spare time.

I don't get the horror at bringing a chair though @MelaniaLovesLemon ! Not everyone has a dozen chairs available for a once a year event! I always have to ask a couple of people to bring chairs at Christmas.

You lost me at making miniature turkeys out of whole walnuts 😂

OP never mentioned why she thinks American lady's husband is 'weird'. Was he dressed like Sideshow Bob and doing cartwheels around the cute garden? Did he put the Gougère on his head thinking it was a hat? I'm dying to know what peculiar quirks he exhibited.

Now I'm off to complete my online shopping order for the week and will try valiantly to avoid adding Pringles.

Apart from the walnut turkeys, I’d relish the opportunity to celebrate a traditional festival authentically with a family who is means something to. Go on op, open your mind. As for the wine and Pringles. My SiL is American and will help herself at an informal gathering like a bbq. I’d say its a cultural thing. If you were holding back the Pringles for your DS, they should have been stashed away.

Ooh this looks interesting thank you, I need (as well as love) a huge cake as lots of family so may give it a whirl!

I use various add to-s sometimes like apple and cinnamon etc, but generally do a large tray bake, or huge silicon ring moulds, or lots and lots of fairy cake sizes, as loaf cakes are my nemesis

Our Thanksgiving turkey recipe (passed down from my husband’s grandmother) has a maple syrup glaze. I also am the one person who likes the marshmallow sweet potatoes once a year so we make a small amount just for me

Personally, having Hyacinth as a neighbour would be both my worst nightmare and continual source of comedy ... OP, perhaps your neighbour is also laughing at you behind your back about your hosting and 'cute' garden, but is nevertheless generous enough to invite you to her celebration.

I do fairy cake sized honey cake too - my kids brought them for snack all week as I let my son help with the maths and made a triple batch accidentally lol