AIBU to think my American neighbour is taking this too far?

[MelaniaLovesLemon]

She’s already invited us to Thanksgiving (yes, in September) and has given me a little to-do list...
Bring a casserole, make miniature turkeys out of whole walnuts(?), and have something prepared to say about what we’re thankful for, and I need to bring my own chair. She’s quirky, loud and brash with a weird husband, and has a habit of turning up unannounced with crazy schemes.

Recently she came for an aperitif in our cute garden, and practically inhaled the entire tin of prawn cocktail Pringles that I was saving for my DS and then simply helped herself to another glass of wine without asking, apparently she wants that wine for the dinner?

Another time she invited me round at 9am to taste test three different types of stuffing, for the Thanksgiving. I could not possibly eat all that at 9am!

I don’t know if I’m being rude thinking this is all a bit much?

I'd be thrilled if I got invited to a Thanksgiving dinner! I'd love to experience that. I reckon a few walnut turkeys is a small price to pay, surely you just Google how to do it, or look up a video on YouTube?

Your neighbour sounds quite full-on, but fun, OP. If you like her, why not throw yourself into it and make the most of it? Obviously if you don't like her then say you can't make it and leave it at that.

I agree. My late DF and Stepmother used to attend a Thanksgiving held by American friends every year and enjoyed it. How narrow must people's lives be if they can't celebrate something from another country when invited to.

(I would be a bit dubious about the walnut turkeys however, if they want decorations then that's on them).

How is an invitation 'imposing her nonsense' on the OP? It's a hospitable invitation to a festive dinner. I really don't see what's an issue with that. OP doesn't have to suddenly start doing her own Thanksgiving every year and is free to say no if she doesn't fancy it.

I have been invited to a Thanksgiving dinner by an American friend. I felt honoured to be asked and certainly was not asked to bring anything - although of course I did - but there were no walnut turkeys. It's a lovely tradition in my opinion and the main course is delicious. I admit I wasn't overkeen on pumpkin pie - l found it too sweet and yet flavourless - but l suspect it is an acquired taste.

She has kindly invited you and you are calling her brash and quirky. She seems like she considers you her friend whereas you don't seem to like her very much.
Stop inviting her to your "cute" garden , decline the invitation say you don't do Thanksgiving but it was kind of her to offer.

If you do end up going definitely take food as American food is FULL of sugar.

As the UK's second most popular postwar Prime Minister said, "don't be a big girl's blouse". No one is saying that OP MUST accept the invitation in any form, let alone that she can't simply say she'd love to come but completely lacks walnuts and an extra chair and has no idea what a casserole entails.

Speaking of the cost of hosting Thanksgiving dinner relative to Christmas dinner, we usually have a relatively small Christmas gathering. Sometimes it's just the two of us. But Thanksgiving is always a large crowd. Like many Americans, I much prefer Thanksgiving to Christmas.

Yes, definitely bring your own sprouts boiled into grey mush, because often at American Thanksgiving what looks like a turkey is, in fact, a facsimile, constructed entirely out of sucrose, glazed with high fructose corn syrup and molasses.

It's funny how Americans have the reputation of being inward looking and small-minded, which can be true, but when you live in another country, you realise that the same mindset exists everywhere.

Come on, everyone knows American food is SHITE. Listening to a podcast recently the presenter recalled that when she lived in America she developed bad acne and was recommended to give up milk products due to the hormones and additives in cow food. She did and the acne cleared up.
Thanks for the reminder re Xmas sprouts, putting mine on to boil now.

The Turkey walnuts are so cute! 🦃

It's got be a combined sitcom of American Housewife and Keeping Up Appearances. OP is Hyacinth Bucket, the English version of a Westport housewife, and her neighbour is the third fattest woman in the neighbourhood.

I'd watch that 😂

Thanksgiving has nothing to do with the Revolution

Ye gods...

No, it isn't becoming less popular.

And it was Brits a year away from their native soil who held the inaugural event.

Holiday as in Benidorm is a very new meaning of the term.

For hundreds of years it meant specific feast days, initially religious and over time with secular holidays mixed in - Michaelmas, Christmas, Good Friday, Bastille Day, New Years' Day, etc.

You still say Bank Holiday, I presume?

Costco, eh?

i’ve never been invited to anyone’s garden for an aperitif, cute or otherwise.

It's funny how baffled some British people are when faced with friendliness.

Is this one of those wellness podcasts that exists to convince everyone that they need to give up dairy and gluten?

Look, American regulations could be stronger. But often when you look closely some of the vaunted differences don't exist, or the floor in the US is lower but you can buy better quality if you like, or there's politics and snobbery involved. (Even in the infamous chicken row, European safety authorities admitted there's nothing unsafe about antibacterial wash, and there was a huge campaign by farmers because they were afraid of being undersold by imports.)

I have seen absurd claims made like the gluten in European wheat is completely different so the gluten intolerant can eat it (it is not, there's less high gluten wheat grown, but the protein itself is the same). One tell is when people make the claim about America but the food in question is the same in Canada, as with wheat products.

To be more serious about it: Yes, the sweet potatoes are going to be full of sugar. Most of the rest of the meal won't be. Americans don't sweeten the turkey and mashed potato, for goodness' sake.

You may also get roasted sprouts at Thanksgiving, with or without bacon in them. No bacon at mine, as no pork here.

I think American friendliness can be a touch over-rated, but inviting people over for holiday meals is absolutely common. I'm Jewish, but I was invited to someone's iftar; I said thank you very much and turned up with a nice box of baklava. This is even more true for thanksgiving where people will be worried you've got no one to go to.

I miss thanksgiving! I want to come!

It's not clear to me what you're objecting to.

If they turn up announced, either don't answer the door, or answer and briskly say, "What's going on? I'm in the middle of something. What did you need?" and end it quickly.

It sounds like you're just not speaking up. I'd have had no problems with the morning tasting, but there would have been nothing wrong with your saying, "I'm sorry, I appreciate your asking, but I just am not used to eating something like this so early."

@MelaniaLovesLemon

I think you're being ridiculously unreasonable on every count here.

The notion that a taste test of stuffing would involve you eating unwanted platefuls of stuffing at 9am is hilarious - taste testing would mean having at most a couple of mouthfuls of each sort.

Your neighbour just wants you to tell her what your favourite stuffing is of the three she has in mind. She doesn't want you to end up pushing something around your plate when it would have been easy for her to make an alternative that you would have liked.

Actually it’s still very popular but everyone celebrates in their own unique way. You might be surprised to learn that people love it because it’s about food, family, and friends coming together to share a meal. And yes we do often talk about what we are thankful for. Many prefer it over Christmas because we’d rather have time with our favorite people over receiving gifts.

I personally can’t imagine having such a negative attitude about being invited to experience a holiday I’m unfamiliar with just because it’s not part of my regular world. I still don’t know what Boxing Day is all about but I hope someday I’ll be in the UK on Dec 26th and I’ll get an invite. :) (Really, what is Boxing Day all about?!?!?)