Snapped in the parent and child parking

[seize]

Juggling my 3 month old from their baby carrier trying to get them into the car seat, a car pulls in and asks me to close my door, while I’m halfway into getting my baby in their seat.

Out hops a child in school uniform about 10 years old, not help needing any help to get out, my face must have had an expression of surprise. Someone in need of this space being asked to stop what they’re doing to allow someone not in need of the space to use it. The adult said “ignorant” loudly at me. So I snapped back, “these spaces are for people with babies and children that need help getting in and out, they aren’t for older children” she snaps something back at me about not knowing how old their child is (the one that is in school uniform, fairly tall, that needed no help getting out and is now safely stood in a car park without the adult needing to have them in their line of sight) and the bratty child screams “yeah!”.

I’ve had it with these spaces, they aren’t a convenience for people that happen to have a person under the age of 16 with them. They’re for people who genuinely need the help getting them in and out and need the extra space.

You’re going round telling people with babies to close their door and stop what they’re doing for your convenience and barking “ignorant” at them are you? You’re the problem if so.

Indeed. They were a thing when ds was a baby but there weren't very many of them so people would queue to use them. SUVs weren't really a thing then, it was the people carriers, so I used to leave them to it and park in an empty bit of the car park.

Nowadays I'd just use online shopping!

What that child needs is to learn not to be rude to complete strangers. Something she's sadly unlikely to learn from her sorry excuse for a mother.

In our local shopping centre the parent/child spaces are right by the access lift, while the blue badge spaces are far away from it. This slightly bugs me ... sorry! ... as I have my blue badge because I can only walk a short distance without getting out of breath whereas parent with children have legs and buggies to get to the access lift.
That's my little gripe for the day!
I am sorry you had this parking tussle.

Threads like this make me wonder how I ever managed when my daughter was a baby and toddler in the days where designated parent and child parking spaces were almost non existent. 😆 It never dawned on me that there could be a reason why I should need to park right outside a supermarket rather than in a quieter area of the car park where I could have more space to get my child in and out of my car.

When this topic has come up in the past people have said they should put parent and child spaces at the back of the car park, as long as there is a safe path to the store to walk along I’m all for this. It’s the fact they put them close to the entrance, that causes lazy people to take advantage of them.

Oh nice, we haven't had one of these in a while!

Surprised you’re getting a hard time on this one, OP. It seems like lots of people are focused on their rights and the rules rather than just acting with compassion toward others in society. Presumably we’ve all had young babies / toddlers and know what it’s like to need these spaces. When that need is gone, and you know yourself when that is based on your child, surely you then stop using them to be a considerate member of society? I’d be embarrassed to use one with a fit school-aged child in tow and I’m surprised so many people wouldn’t be?

I had my own run in years ago at Waitrose (of course) where a woman without kids was talking loudly on her phone while parked in the p&c space as I struggled to get my baby out nearby. Like you, nothing said on my side but she must have sensed my annoyance and started yelling at me about how she’d park where she liked. It was less the parking than the upset of someone treating me like that while being so blatantly anti-social that stuck with me. It’s unsettling that some people are so unpleasant and so brash about it.

Good for you. They’ve been a thing for a long time, though.

I’m shocked to hear that a lot of these spaces are for children 12 and under?? I mean by 11-12 they’ll be walking to school themselves! I assumed they were for babies/toddlers.

Because you can’t judge on what you can see.

and if there are no blue badge spaces I would and have used a P and C space because he needs it!

I agree OP, it's really frustrating.

I actually find it worse when it's parents who use them unnecessarily as they have been through the experience of trying to get a baby/toddler in and out without being able to fully open the door.

While older children might be at risk of knocking the car nextdoor, all that takes is a parent to open the door for them/stop it from hitting the neighbouring car. They definitely don't need the wider spaces as much as someone trying to get a baby into or out of a carseat, or even worse trying to get the entire car seat out if it's a baby carrier.

Other driver was impatient and rude.

But you're not entitled to preferential treatment because you have a baby. They have as much right to park there too.

I came here to say that 🤣

I have twins. I have seen so many grown adults without kids using these spaces to text/vape/chill that I cannot get angry about someone with kids using them! Are you sure she didn't say "ignore it" to the child. I

I plan to use them for many years because it moved the stress of denying another car when small children open their doors in the back. But I would say "wait for the lady to sort her baby out" to them 😂

Am I missing something with the farting comment?

Wasn’t the problem that you were taking up 2 baby & child spaces?

Normally each one is wide enough to open the door to get a baby in - I suspect the driver was put out that you had effectively commandeered both spaces.

That said, they shouldn’t have been rude as it’s tough having a new baby.

They are, clearly, intended for younger kids generally. The rules around this don’t impact who does and doesn’t actually need them. It would be better to leave ages off the signs to drive this point home. Parents of some 14 year olds with special needs might need those spaces, while those of some 4 year olds might not. Your point about secondary school kids walking to school is well made!

Calling someone ignorant, in public, because they didn't immediately accommodate your wishes, is extremely rude.

But no good ever comes of arguing with strangers about parking.

Just accept that some people are arseholes, it's their lookout and they're only giving themselves wrinkles, and go about your day.

You can absolutely judge people for being rude gobshites though.

.

Parent and child parking are for children under 12 or those with disabilities (including hidden disabilities). Just because the child looked able doesn’t mean they are, vest not to assume and they didn’t break any rules, they were entitled to the space just as much as you were.

The other driver should have been more patient, OP @seize , and there should be enough room in these spaces that someone can have a door open while the next driver patks, that's what they are for!

I wouldn't have told the other driver off for using the space if they met the conditions of use. but they would be told to fucking wait a second while I safely put the baby in the car.

There’s always one

The adult wasn’t watching the child at all when starting and continuing an argument with me, so you can stop claiming a hidden disability and special space needed for this independent child that was safely able to stand still while not being watched.