Snapped in the parent and child parking

[seize]

Juggling my 3 month old from their baby carrier trying to get them into the car seat, a car pulls in and asks me to close my door, while I’m halfway into getting my baby in their seat.

Out hops a child in school uniform about 10 years old, not help needing any help to get out, my face must have had an expression of surprise. Someone in need of this space being asked to stop what they’re doing to allow someone not in need of the space to use it. The adult said “ignorant” loudly at me. So I snapped back, “these spaces are for people with babies and children that need help getting in and out, they aren’t for older children” she snaps something back at me about not knowing how old their child is (the one that is in school uniform, fairly tall, that needed no help getting out and is now safely stood in a car park without the adult needing to have them in their line of sight) and the bratty child screams “yeah!”.

I’ve had it with these spaces, they aren’t a convenience for people that happen to have a person under the age of 16 with them. They’re for people who genuinely need the help getting them in and out and need the extra space.

My 15 year old can “jump out of the car” sometimes, doesn’t mean he doesn’t need his blue badge!

You had a space. Don’t wind yourself up over where anyone else parks!

This angers me so much. I couldn't park to bring my baby into the doctor when she was sick last week because two cars with no children took the parent and child spaces left. I had to park a good bit away in a normal parking space, and I'm struggling at the moment with the weight of the carry seat as I'm pregnant again and my pelvis is killing me When I came back I was blocked in by two cars so I had to ask a stranger to hold my pram while I drove forward to get the carseat back in.

People dont give a toss about parking in these spaces but there's literally nowhere else to go if they are taken by people who dont need them.

Regardless of the age of her child, it's perfectly reasonable for them to wait a moment until you'd finished. I have found it's much better to stick to what's immediately there when in these situations, ie "Won't be a moment, just getting strapped in" and carry on, rather than getting into a discussion about who has more right to the space.

Why wouldn’t you use the child lock on your car to prevent this happening?

I'm with you Betty😉

Honestly I just couldnt get worked up about this like you have, you have no idea the needs of that child - keep your judgy nose out.

Under 5 I believe

Gosh, can a child not be taught to wait for someone already doing something first?

I wish to god we could just ban the bloody P&C spaces and instead start a petition for actual usable spaces for everyone.

The amount of anger, outrage and frothing I’ve witnessed over these spaces since I became a parent is insane.

BTW I had 3 under 3 at one point and used to behave like I was the most oppressed person in the world if I couldn’t get a P&C space - bit embarrassing to remember!

What’s that got to do with a P&C space?

I would have kept my judgy nose out if:

A I wasn’t told to stop what I was doing when trying to safely get a baby into a car.

B I wasn’t called ignorant

Surely you can teach a 10 year old not to do that unless major SEN in which case they should have a disabled badge. Even my eldest with auADHD managed to open a car door by that age.

I worked for years as senior HR for a supermarket chain and witnessed/helped to handle some massive ding dongs about child parking spaces. We once had to call the police and ambulance as it got physical. Weirdly, it was a huge car park and had numerous spaces further back where there was ample space, but the spite and nastiness over these spaces was bonkers. There was talk over getting rid of them completely as they caused such drama. Other solutions were to reallocate them to the very back of the carpark, thus eliminating those using them for a quick run in or out of sheer laziness.
As I said previously, I never used them, even with a 2 year old and a newborn. Strategic parking futher away and not going at peak times made it a much less stressful outing. There will always be twats in the world unfortunately. Best to just ignore and get on with your day than trying to argue with stupid. You'll never win and it will only serve to ruin your own day and piss you off. The rude lady won't be feeling taken down a peg I can assure you! Not if her ten year old acts the same way as her mum!

I’ve had it with these spaces, they aren’t a convenience for people that happen to have a person under the age of 16 with them. They’re for people who genuinely need the help getting them in and out and need the extra space

Agreed. I often think they should charge for them and then all the people who want them will melt away and those who actually need them will be able to use them. It would certainly concentrate some minds. I stayed off the bigger cars thread but if people drove sensibly sized cars, they wouldn't need the P&C spaces except for when a baby is very young (though even then I used to just park in the furthest reaches of the car park because I was too impatient to queue for a P&C space).

And they definitely are not for school-aged kids - if they are disabled you get a blue badge and park in the right sort of bay.

The age limit may depend on the supermarket I guess. If it is 12, it's far too old.

PS, I thought when you said "snapped" that you meant someone had taken a photo of you!

People can say they’re for children up to 12 all they like… morally you shouldn’t be using them anymore once your child can do their own seatbelt / isn’t a flight risk / has learned not to fling doors wide open.
It’s not hard to be considerate of people who need them more than you.

They're completely non-enforceable. I would have told you to take a hike.

All of those things you list are easier than shopping with kids

No idea why you're getting grief! It is so inconsiderate for people to use these when not needed. I've never known an age limit but thought it was generally for babies/young children who need help getting out of the car.

I've got a toddler & older child & wouldn't ever use one for my older child, because you know I'm not an utter-c**nty-selfish-a-hole.

If you struggled having three under three you should have more empathy for those in the thick of it now, rather than judge what sounds like a normal reaction to the stress you were under in the past.

Yes she should have waited until you’d finished strapping your child in but equally it wouldn’t have hurt for you to just have closed the door and saved a lot of aggro.
I do wonder though how today’s parents would have managed years ago when Parent & Child spaces weren’t a thing. I’d two under two and managed perfectly well as did all parents.

We have actual usable spaces. The problem is that so many yummy parents need the massive SUVs as a status symbol.

You don't. Get a normal car.

They are for under 12’s in all our local car parks with clear signage as such. Mine are 13 and 9 I haven’t used them for years but I also wouldn’t judge someone for using them within the specified age limits. No need for the woman to be quite so rude to OP though.

I just wish everyone had enough space to get in and out and safe walking routes to the store. Apart from disabled people, once you are out of the car and your child is safely strapped into the pushchair, or trolley, so long as there was a safe route, it shouldn't matter if you are a little further from the store. I'm not disabled but am elderly and struggle with the small spaces between cars. My car is small but parked between 2 SUV's, its a nightmare getting in and out. Before anyone mentions toddlers, why have parents stopped using reins to keep kids close. Even in baby and toddler spots, I see kids escaping mums hand and running into traffic.

Most parent and child spaces have a sign saying 12&under so she wouldn’t be far wrong, not being patient enough to wait for you to finish putting your baby in the car is a bit of an asshole move but imo you can’t judge for using the spaces.

my daughter is 10, she looks fine to most but she has dyspraxia and often needs more space to get out the car. This isn’t always obvious and at times I still use parent&child spaces if the usual spaces are too narrow. It’s also to save other people’s car doors…