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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s not suddenly all the kids, it’s the new teacher.

249 replies

jollyoldjo · 23/09/2025 14:14

DD has just gone into year 4 and has a new teacher.

They had the same teacher for the last 2 years and she was very nice and also had lovely teachers before her.

We are still in the first month of a new year with the new teacher who’s new to the school and quite young so at a guess newly qualified and suddenly all of the children are misbehaving but were fine with other teachers, she keeps them back 15 minutes every day for poor behaviour, this is decided on the day without notice but it’s been every day and that’s the whole class.

A more experienced teacher is taking the class for a week next week to sort out the behaviour.

I regularly help out on school trips and they’re not bad kids and they haven’t all suddenly developed behavioural issues they just have no respect for this particular teacher.
AIBU to think she has no control over the class and it seems because she isn’t coping she’s retaliating against the children by being an absolute jobs worth?

We’ve had multiple letters out explaining they’ve all missed breaks and not done PE etc because of poor behaviour and by keeping them an extra 15 minutes she is making herself very unpopular by leaving parents standing outside in the empty playground while she punishes the children and parents.
I have a child in the same school in year 6 who has walked home and got changed while I’m still waiting in the playground for dd to come out at supposedly the same finish time, we’ve never had this before.
Other children and their siblings have places to be after school.

AIBU to think if as early as September, 30 kids and their parents are hoping they don’t have this teacher again next year then it’s not the kids it’s the teacher?

OP posts:
Lillers · 23/09/2025 20:11

@Asuitablecat Controlling a class is, by and large, a giant con trick. You can only do it with the compliance of those children. If they don't want to behave for you, they won't. Even highly experienced teachers have days, lessons, where the class just.... won't stfu. Often there's a wasp involved.

Today my excellent behaviour management skills disintegrated because of a fart in the back row. Chaos.

ccridersuz · 23/09/2025 20:14

Let the teacher teach, along with her colleagues and butt out!.
She’s new and just getting her bearings, the last thing she needs is advise from know it all parents of little angels!.

Dinnerplease · 23/09/2025 20:15

What does the school discipline policy say? Both schools my children have been in say no collective punishment.

It happened twice with a cover teacher, I very politely wrote to the head and said if DD had been a problem (I knew she hadn't been) I would of course back them up with sanctions, but thay she needed movement breaks due to ASD and so I'd prefer it if they adhered to the policy so she could have these at break.

Head wrote back to say very sorry, it won't happen again, and it didn't. Just refer them to whatever the sanctions are in the policy.

Haveaproperty · 23/09/2025 20:24

My sons class had a newly qualified male teacher in year 4. All the clothes came home mixed up, homework was never set. He kept taking sick days. The kids acted appallingly in his class. Fighting, not learning. He ended up having two experienced TAs assigned to him then eventually had a breakdown mid year and left teaching altogether and the class got another teacher.

I don't think everyone is cut out for teaching. But they are just people. Its very unfortunate if you get a not so good teacher as a good teacher can make incredible differences in childrens lives. But the new teachers need to teach a class somewhere and that classes learning can end up being disrupted if the teacher is struggling.
Speak to the school, if enough parents write in they will have to give the teacher more support and training.

Burntoutandcantbebothered · 23/09/2025 20:29

I've never heard of primary school DC being held back. I'd be pretty pissed off if I had to hang around in the playground for 15 minutes everyday with my knackered reception age DD waiting for DS or DS missing expensive clubs as a collective punishment. But it sounds like the school are doing something so I'd see if much changes in the next few days and take it from there.

MissPoor · 23/09/2025 20:37

ccridersuz · 23/09/2025 20:14

Let the teacher teach, along with her colleagues and butt out!.
She’s new and just getting her bearings, the last thing she needs is advise from know it all parents of little angels!.

Hilarious.

Butt out of your child’s life, OP, a stranger on the Internet is telling you to!

It’s not suddenly all the kids, it’s the new teacher.
HatStickBoots · 23/09/2025 20:40

NorthSouthEast · 23/09/2025 14:26

Missing breaks and PE seem like daft strategies. You need to give children a break from the classroom and a chance to run off energy to help them behave better surely?

Totally agree with this. They’re expected to sit still so much of the time.

My own children had these whole class punishments at primary school (no explanation given of the cause) and it achieved nothing. It’s a classroom of small children not an army platoon ffs. What do they have to do in those extra 15 minutes after school? Mine in their whole classes were expected to sit like statues and not make a sound, which was an impossible task for many so the time just dragged on and on.

FrippEnos · 23/09/2025 20:44

Haveaproperty · 23/09/2025 20:24

My sons class had a newly qualified male teacher in year 4. All the clothes came home mixed up, homework was never set. He kept taking sick days. The kids acted appallingly in his class. Fighting, not learning. He ended up having two experienced TAs assigned to him then eventually had a breakdown mid year and left teaching altogether and the class got another teacher.

I don't think everyone is cut out for teaching. But they are just people. Its very unfortunate if you get a not so good teacher as a good teacher can make incredible differences in childrens lives. But the new teachers need to teach a class somewhere and that classes learning can end up being disrupted if the teacher is struggling.
Speak to the school, if enough parents write in they will have to give the teacher more support and training.

Edited

I saw something similar is secondary.

A teacher rated poor, kids running rings around them.
Ended up having a breakdown and left the school.

Saw them 4 years later. New school, different supportive SLT and parents that wanted their kids to learn that didn't just blame the teacher.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 23/09/2025 20:52

I would not be standing for this. I'm a former teacher and do not agree with whole class punishments whatsoever.

Legally, she cannot withhold your child from you. So you can take your child home. I'd be calling an urgent meeting with the Head over this, and insisting my child leaves with you at normal end of school time.

This teacher has zero respect for the parents, or the well behaved children in the class. I'd not be happy with her 'style' whatsoever.

ThatNoisyTealBird · 23/09/2025 21:50

Flosnana · 23/09/2025 17:54

I’m not sure making them miss PE is legal. It’s a very important part of the curriculum-some children love it, some hate it, like any other subject. My daughter would have been delighted with this ‘punishment’.

Yes, I'd have been delighted to miss PE 😅

Extra PE would have been a punishment for me!

ManteesRock · 23/09/2025 22:29

Teacher here! Year 4 is when they all act like dicks.
Honestly they're no longer in the younger cute year groups, theres generally no extra play time when work is finished early it's sit and read a book. But also if toys and games were available they wouldn't use them because they're too grown up for that. But they aren't grown enough that they have the same freedom of the older kids who are starting to gain independence in school.
Every year without fail in every school I've worked in year 4 is the year group that has the most behaviour problems. And every summer I look at the year 3 kids and think - you're the year that will break the year 4 curse and every year without fail I'm wrong!

DorothyStorm · 23/09/2025 22:33

they haven’t all suddenly developed behavioural issues they just have no respect for this particular teacher.
So, which is it?

no the teacher should not be giving out whole class sanctions. That is not good practice. Find the behaviour policy. Id be very surprised if after school detentions were named in a primary too.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 23/09/2025 22:58

Cripes. I think if I knew I was going to be punished regardless, I'd take advantage of it and misbehave as well.

What sort of message is she actually sending to the class by holding everybody back?

A full month of being held back is ridiculous, and just shows what she's doing isn't working.

ClawsandEffect · 23/09/2025 23:18

She's new.

She's struggling.

They're acting up.

Parents are Whatsapping about her.

Unless you've stood in front of a class of 32 / 35 children for 6 hours a day, topped by probably (as she's new) an additional 4 or 5 hours of work, I really think you need to cut her some slack.

Parents on MN struggle to manage their own children. Imagine doing that X 30.

ClawsandEffect · 23/09/2025 23:21

Lillers · 23/09/2025 20:11

@Asuitablecat Controlling a class is, by and large, a giant con trick. You can only do it with the compliance of those children. If they don't want to behave for you, they won't. Even highly experienced teachers have days, lessons, where the class just.... won't stfu. Often there's a wasp involved.

Today my excellent behaviour management skills disintegrated because of a fart in the back row. Chaos.

Storm and wind. Chaos!

ResusciAnnie · 23/09/2025 23:24

Poor teacher, she must be feeling absolutely shit about herself! Ugh.

But I’ve never heard of after school detention in primary and my kids wouldn’t be participating.

cherish123 · 23/09/2025 23:29

Some teachers do have better discipline than others. However, children are responsible for their own behaviour. If they can behave for one teacher, they can behave for all teachers.

Stiffnewknee · 23/09/2025 23:51

I don’t agree with keeping them behind after school at that age but missing breaks has been a punishment for decades. There had to be some sort of consequence for poor behaviour. The attitude of the OP and some of the comments completely sum up why nobody wants to teach anymore. Parent what’s app groups have contributed to ganging up and gossiping. If the parents are slagging off the teacher and saying she’s shit of course 8/9 year old kids are going to pick up on this and behave like little shits. My kids were brought up to respect their teachers regardless of whether they ‘liked’ them or not. It’s a valuable skill to learn in life. They are likely to have bosses who are a hundred times worse! It’s good preparation for life. What exactly do some of you think you’re teaching kids about respect. Good luck with the teenage years! Anyone who thinks that their kids are little angels and can’t possibly be misbehaving because they were brilliant for Mrs X last year is very naive! I bet Mrs X had lower standards! It’s absolutely laughable that parents with no experience of teaching somehow think they are qualified to comment on a teachers ability!

usedtobeaylis · 24/09/2025 00:46

ccridersuz · 23/09/2025 20:14

Let the teacher teach, along with her colleagues and butt out!.
She’s new and just getting her bearings, the last thing she needs is advise from know it all parents of little angels!.

Some of the kids ARE well behaved though and those parents are absolutely within their rights to object to them receiving punishments for what other children do.

Everyone is within their rights to object to a subject being withheld as a punishment. Plenty of teachers think PE is optional and not necessary and that should be challenged. 'Let the teacher teach' doesn't really apply when the teacher is not.... teaching.

thirdfiddle · 24/09/2025 01:13

The teacher is being failed by senior management. The support the teacher needs is not people 'supporting' their inappropriate punishments, it's someone alerting the head so they can guide them swiftly towards more appropriate ways of managing behaviour. Before you approach the head about something you're supposed to speak to the teacher involved first, so I'd do that. Much more positive and cooperative than everyone standing around grumbling in the playground about them.

FrippEnos · 24/09/2025 04:55

@jollyoldjo

Are you really sure that the 15 minutes at the end of the day are punishment?

Or is it taking the teacher that long to get the children ready to leave?

LondonGalll · 24/09/2025 05:11

How utterly stupid of the teacher, kids need movement breaks and PE to behave. They are not little robots,

HeyThereDelila · 24/09/2025 05:27

Wait and see what happens next week. If the teacher isn’t up to it a good Head might sack her so she may not be back after Christmas.

Keep a close eye on the situation: DS had a teacher who wasn’t very good leave last Christmas. She was replaced by an NQT who was lovely and nurturing, but couldn’t manage the class and wasn’t kept on after summer. DS basically lost a year of education and made very little progress.

Think about your other options.

JMSA · 24/09/2025 05:41

Oh well, the kids will just have to learn. And maybe their parents could set a good example by speaking to them about their behaviour, rather than turning on a new teacher who is trying her best.

JMSA · 24/09/2025 05:42

But I do agree that whole class punishment (for the well-behaved) isn’t on.