To be annoyed at friend for taking her kid to A&E so often

[sellotape12]

We live at the top of a road and at the end is our local hospital. I have a fairly new Mum friend from preschool. A big personality, (possibly her Spanish roots) and quite the drama queen. I feel myself getting very very mildly irritated because she literally takes her kid to A&E every single month.
In the past 2-3 months she and her husband have taken the kid to A&E for

• A fever. Hospital sent them home and said just use Calpol and get rest.
• A bad repetitive cough. She was sent home for bed rest
• A graze on her nose after she fell from a scooter. Could’ve been treated at home with basic first aid.
• “Pains in her leg”. A&E doctors said it was growing pains.
• fever from the injection site after having preschool jabs.

Each time we get the full story and I think she expects a flurry of attention. This isn’t a panic or anxious person who suffers from hypochondria. She treats the hospital as if it’s a walk-in GP clinic because of its proximity.

I’m pretty sure that in every single case she could’ve just googled it or used the helpful NHS website. I feel annoyed that she’s wasting the resources of actual urgent medical cases, but I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable in having this eye roll! How would you feel?

OP should butt out.

Yes some people do worry about minor ailments and go to the GP or A&E too much.

Doctors know this and deal with it regularly. They also deal with other people who should seek medical help but avoid health care professionals.

It's between the patient and the health care provider, nothing for a 'friend' to get annoyed about.

Have you tried understanding why your friend is so worried?

The only thing I might have taken to A&E would be the cough if it had been going in for a long time or the child was very ill, but I’d go to GP first (DS had bronchiolitis as a baby and we ended up in A&E via the GP).

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not that hard to get a GP appt for a child although I wouldn’t take for a graze, or fever unless it was dangerously high. Obv it’s then an A&E job anyway - but you can google re high temps and usually tell by a child’s demeanour.

if she hadn’t got high anxiety/health anxiety then she’s got the use of A&E completely wrong. Is there a walk-in near you as they can be v useful when a GP isn’t available- I’ve used ours many times for me and DC over the years.

if it’s a cultural thing. Surely she’s got the memo by now that A&E is a horrible place that no-one should be accessing unless in dire need.

Not your child, not your problem. If she wants to waste hours of their life sitting in a&e unnecessarily, that’s on them 🤷🏼‍♀️

Your friend needs to be careful. Taking her child so often to the GP or hospital could cause concern to the professionals and other services could become involved which your friend will not like at all...No one wants it to go this far....

I knew someone who took his 4 year old to a&e with chicken pox. Perfectly healthy otherwise and not especially suffering with it. Just to be on the safe side. Probably spread it to some very vulnerable people. Lunacy

As someone who has seen a sick relative lying on a trolley for hours in A&E, piss takers who are there when they shouldn't be annoy me too.

Tell her that A&E stands for ACCIDENT AND EMERGENCY, not ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.
I imagine her English is good enough to understand that so maybe she will get the hint.

Let's hope this happens. Ridiculous piss taker.

We all know that the NHS is in a terrible state. It's because it's in a terrible state that the last thing we need is people like the OP's friend abusing the system. Nobody is going to die from a grazed nose. The friend knows this. And she knows the NHS is in crisis - she lives in the UK long term and her husband is English. She is surrounded by the English news media. There is no excuse for what she's doing.

Same for American family. When they visit, their kids always have a ‘fever’ (they’re fine) and then mom and kids end up at the GP surgery making a fuss (then are told to give them Calpol).
Massive eye rolls from everyone else

Hmm, there are people who go out on a Saturday night and then end up in a&e to sober up… I think that’s more of a waste of time:money for the healthcare stated than a parent who is worried about their child:

@August1980 The drunks are also a problem. The fact that we already have a problem doesn't mean that it's okay for someone to cause another problem, quite unnecessarily and deliberately. It's time for that mother to grow up. If she's so insecure about cleaning a grazed nose, I suggest she buys a family first aid book. If she can't cope with that, she should self-finance a basic first aid course. You can go on ones designed for parents and childminders.

Yes to this. My husband is from Poland. Last week our son (we live in the uk) was off sick with a cold/cough/mild fever (he’s 4) and I got a proper judgy pants text from my MIL asking why I “haven’t taken x to see a doctor? He won’t recover if he doesn’t get medicine!”. The medicine she means is antibiotics. I got my husband to explain that he doesn’t need ‘medicine’ (other than otc, calpol, etc) and antibiotics are utterly useless for a VIRUS such as the common cold. It drives me mad 😂no one ever puts a lick of sun cream on but will rush off for antiBIOTICS for a bloody virus 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Jesus wept.

She's probably used to good healthcare.

I'm in the eu for my kids schools and oh my goodness I'd tell stories of the nhs here but I don't want to rub it in people's faces. Let me just say the difference is mindblowing.

I agree that she's wasting time but having lived this good life now I don't think I'd cope in the UK 😶I've fully embraced the luxury I have here. A&E also has three tiers here, clinic type, some weird emergency but not dying type but they can handle dying type and then full blown a&e.

Surely youd try basic level stuff first like calpol?!

I know of people like this who live close to a hospital and walk in there for anything rather than the usual route.

I’d mention that if it was me, I’d be worried about Social Services becoming involved with so many hospital visits. That might curb her enthusiasm!

I think we need to be ashamed for sneering at people for their use of A and e.

My infant daughter became ill.
I took her to two doctors who both gave eye drops and said she would be fine.
I knew she wasn’t,
I took her to A and E, we didn’t even have to wait to be seen, admitted immediately for life saving IV antibiotics for cellulitus.
Left any longer meningitis and sepsis were very immediate risks.

I developed a horrible condition and GP fobbed me off several times.
I was so ill I went to a private doctor, immediately rushed to hospital for blood transfusions, again an emergency when I was told to wait and see by GPs.

I have lost a dear family member ,aged 50, this month as they were hesitant to waste anyone’s time and call an ambulance. They are gone now but do they get a posthumous medal for not seeking medical help?
Their children can keep it instead of their parent!

This stuff really angers me, what is the psychology that makes people feel good by sneering at people who are unsure and seek help????!

There are lots of people who treat the NHS like this, it is annoying- but so are a million other things we as tax payers fork out for. Hypochondriacs is one of the big arguments for charging for GP appointments- but they would just go to walk in centres , A&E or urgent care instead- it's part of the price we pay- you can't police other people or their mental health, concentrate on what you change and improve.

Telematic medicine in the NHS? It has been around for years.

That baffles me too , your colleague is not alone. Some of us grew up with paediatricians and doctors doing home visits, and not being advised to get children with fever over to GPs, and so on.

Loved this. I hadn't thought about the state of A & E, the people who attend and the chance of the child catching something nasty

I don't think she would want to visit my big city A&E in the evening with her child. It can be like war zone.

And l don't mean ordinary people with the usual health problems but crammed with addicts and substance abuse problems. People being abusive, fighting, swearing vomiting, passing out, relieving themselves

Thank God. l have been there for a few years so things may have improved

I have a dear friend in A&E with serious bowel issues, and many other conditions, they've now been there for over 24 hours. Your neighbour is an arsehole who needs to get a grip on parenting a sick/injured child, pathetic. And when the government start charging for GP appointments ... anyone who really does need help will be royally fucked!!

This. ^

Both my children have been hospitalised for ‘a repetitive cough’ my eldest oxygen dropped to 90 the one time. When they have coughs I panic because I have seen them both decline rapidly and be extremely poorly to the point they’ve had seizures from high temps. There’s nothing wrong with being concerned over your child’s health.