"Can I take you out for a meal"?

[RachelTopliss]

Would you find this odd? It sounds like it's come from the 70s. What's a meal anyway? It sounds creepy. Lunch or dinner maybe yes but a meal?

I said I was busy.

If I'd turned down every bloke who said " Can I take you out to dinner?" in my dating days (the 80s) I'd have been celibate. Maybe it was more of a convention then but it did not imply creepiness. Conversely, offering a walk as a date would have had the person asked backing off slowly and carefully without making sudden movements.

Agree with others, the use of "meal" does give you the option of choosing lunch/dinner/whatever.

It's not even slightly weird. 😂It's a completely standard date.

I would suggest that your snobbery is not as well controlled as you think it is. 😂

Whilst it does sound normal to me, I actually find it a bit icky………rather like when someone says ‘oh, it’s our anniversary today so we’re going out tonight for a nice meal’……..well, you wouldn’t deliberately plan to go out for a crap one would you?

Still better than ‘it’s our anniversary tonight so we’re going for a bite to eat’ 🤣😱

"Can I take you out to dinner?" - Why not! Fallow?
"Can I take you out for a meal?" - Romford Harvester? Let's not and say we did.

To me the wording implies that he's inviting you out and will pay the bill, and he's leaving you to choose whether it's lunch or dinner - sounds perfectly reasonable to me!

So many times on here you read of women being asked out and is then expected to split the bill, often with the guy eating and drinking far more; or the date is a walk followed by a takeaway coffee.

As for the word 'Meal' on MN that is akin to holding your knife incorrectly - maybe that's what the OP is concerned about!

I would expect to split the bill on a date!

Oh blimey! Yes, it does! But they might normally be on a liquid diet and usually suck and swallow………….perhaps I’ll leave that one there 🤪😂🤭

For a bit of context, this is a man I've chatted with at the sports centre. It seems a bit full on to say this to me as we've only said hello, had a nice weekend sort of thing. He's nice but a bit quaint.

I genuinely am busy on Saturday all day I wasn't fobbing him off. I might suggest meeting for a coffee in the day instead. A "meal" seems a bit much, but I guess he could have meant fish and chips for all I know.

Oh gawd, being polite is dated now. Give me strength.

Coffee in the day instead sounds like a good idea if you're not quite comfortable with him yet, to me quaint is endearing, but if you're not used to that it can seem uncomfortable. If the coffee meet up goes well maybe suggest meeting up for fish and chips or a pizza next time , still keeping it very casual and see how you feel.

Seems a bit strange to dismiss him based on a word, could be a lovely guy. To me he's just asking you out without being to forceful in terms of type of date, giving you the option, but also could be nervous etc. Perhaps there are other things putting you off?

I’d prefer to be asked out for a meal than spend weeks and weeks messaging someone before even meeting them which seems to be the modern way of doing things.

Whoever you turned down had a lucky escape if you think their behaviour was odd. A meal is food - if you’re so pedantic buy your own.

"Can I take you out (etc) .." does makes it clear that he's offering to pay. Before I'm criticised for promoting unacceptable attitudes from that age of the crinoline and horsedrawn carriage, the 1980s, this did not mean that you expected him to pay for every date going forward. Just saying what it means and of course there is (and was) the option of offering to split the bill on said date.

I’d have no issue with someone making it clear they mean to pay when they ask me out, but I’d always go halves if I accepted the date.

It’s not indecision. It’s leaving space for the OP to say ‘lunch would be nice’ or ‘I love to go for dinner’

It’s not the ‘take you out’ that bothered the OP though. She said it was the word ‘meal’ and the same question but with ‘lunch’ or ‘dinner’ would have been fine.

He’s shooting his shot. Christ. One person said it was too indecisive. You are saying it’s too forward 🫤

I’d rather someone just suggested going out for lunch or dinner, or a specific restaurant, rather than use the word ‘meal’ 🤣 I wouldn’t like ‘shall we go out for food’ either as it sounds entirely unromantic, as if the entire purpose of meeting is to consume said meal rather than get to know each other. It’s a good job my husband never invited me out for a meal 🤣

I find you odd

You don't know what a meal is?? 🤔

You're the odd one in this scenario.

Think he's had a lucky escape if you don't go, you are a weirdo