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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think criminals are very common?

237 replies

ChicJoker · 22/09/2025 17:35

I see lots of threads on here claiming moral high ground and pearl clutching for example about people not correcting large company’s on a billing mistake. All very tsk tsk tsk “that’s stealing” etc.

it got me thinking, I’m sure it’s dependent on your region but I don’t believe there’s a single person where I’m from that doesn’t either know or have a relation to a criminal in some way. If mums net was a true representation of the public, surely criminals would be shunned from communities and the holier than thou would reign free.

where I’m from, everybody, and I do mean everybody - either knows someone directly or are themselves involved in illegal activity in some way. Even if it was historically. It’s astoundingly common. Anyone who claims otherwise is either lying or incredibly naive.

what are your thoughts? How do the whiter than white cope in life? FWIW there’s absolutely not a chance on this earth I’d correct for example Tesco on sending me a free online shop by mistake. I’d actually find it more morally inferior TO correct them.

OP posts:
Bambamhoohoo · 23/09/2025 16:32

SerendipityJane · 23/09/2025 16:29

Well they haven't got a police record.

You can’t discriminate for a criminal record. If someone is the best person for the role and the criminal record isn’t relevant (ie not an accountant with a fraud conviction or a teacher with a CSA conviction) then they should get the job.

why would you want to make rehabilitated people’s lives worse by not letting them use their skills and experience?

Almostwelsh · 23/09/2025 16:59

I have more than one family member with a criminal conviction, so yes it seems to be reasonably common to me.

I know of quite a lot of people who have taken drugs, criminal damage, things like that but not been caught.

SerendipityJane · 23/09/2025 17:01

You can’t discriminate for a criminal record.

rather begs the question what they are for then ?

LemondrizzleShark · 23/09/2025 17:06

Definitely social circle dependent if you are talking about arrests/cautions.

If you just mean speeding, fair enough I think most people have gone over the speed limit at least once in their life, even if they have never been caught.

Deliciouslyfree · 23/09/2025 17:21

SerendipityJane · 23/09/2025 16:29

Well they haven't got a police record.

I was referring to your That's hardly comforting to people who have spent 40 years not breaking the law and not getting interviews.

40 years and not getting any interviews…. Something is clearly very evidently not right with that person.

TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater · 23/09/2025 17:31

Bambamhoohoo · 23/09/2025 16:14

It’s astonishing how often mental health issues escalate into this situation.

Imagine believing you need to fight for your life because you’re going to be killed and oh look, 5 police officers had to leap on you and put you in cuffs to get you in the ambulance- maybe you smacked one of them, or a paramedic whilst you fought for your life. It’s so sad and very frightening. And it could happen to any of us.

Yes and in America you can risk getting shot and killed too.

PastaAllaNorma · 23/09/2025 17:33

That percentage 'with a criminal record' doesn't only mean convictions or even arrests, it includes cautions and all sorts. Someone erroneously arrested and released without charge has a criminal record under the statistics that are being quoted.

That is very different from being a criminal.

I wouldn't regard someone who nicked from the pick and mix at Woolworths as a kid as a criminal, nor someone who's a little over the 30 mile speed limit on an empty road at night, but both are illegal.

The only person I can think of that I know went to prison was a male teaching assistant at the local primary school. He was absolutely awful, a real Spidey Senses wrong un, and he was eventually charged and convicted of child sexual abuse.

Bambamhoohoo · 23/09/2025 17:42

SerendipityJane · 23/09/2025 17:01

You can’t discriminate for a criminal record.

rather begs the question what they are for then ?

Is that a serious question? You surely don’t think people who have a criminal record should be unemployed and impoverished forever? Don’t you believe in rehabilitation?

Dramatic · 23/09/2025 17:44

My husband has a criminal record, my ex is in prison. My daughter is in a class of 20 kids and 3 of the parents are drug dealers. I'd say at least half of the parents have some form of criminal record, one of them has just been charged with child trafficking. I suppose it highly depends on where you live.

Rumbletumbley · 23/09/2025 19:00

Dramatic · 23/09/2025 17:44

My husband has a criminal record, my ex is in prison. My daughter is in a class of 20 kids and 3 of the parents are drug dealers. I'd say at least half of the parents have some form of criminal record, one of them has just been charged with child trafficking. I suppose it highly depends on where you live.

And how nosy / gossipy you are to even know this about so many people

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 19:38

MellowMint · 23/09/2025 14:28

You must be living in very deprived area, and I feel sorry for you that you are surrounded by criminals on daily basis 😳

most people don’t live like this or if they grow up in area like this they will make their bloody best to get out of there 😬

Most of the country lives in areas that are deprived. Youre saying this like it is an insult that someone living in a deprived area should feel ashamed of. Reality is that many of the rich people living in nice areas do so because they have been and still are doing something illegal. Might be tax evasion, might be cocaine dealing, might be fraud. And those who do not? They use their legally earned money to buy drugs, use sex workers, and frequent places which exist to launder money.

Your ignorance is just that, ignorant.

Lucyweeks · 23/09/2025 19:42

BurglarAndSwag · 22/09/2025 18:18

Well, I ain't bleedin' common!

I've got 6 'A' levels and 2 degrees - and I paid good money for them certificates. I got them from Abroad (that's a different country, not a lady, in case you're wondering). They send 'em in the post.

That's funny. I miss the emoji

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 20:24

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 19:38

Most of the country lives in areas that are deprived. Youre saying this like it is an insult that someone living in a deprived area should feel ashamed of. Reality is that many of the rich people living in nice areas do so because they have been and still are doing something illegal. Might be tax evasion, might be cocaine dealing, might be fraud. And those who do not? They use their legally earned money to buy drugs, use sex workers, and frequent places which exist to launder money.

Your ignorance is just that, ignorant.

The majority of England don’t live in deprived areas.

https://www.jrf.org.uk/uk-poverty-2025-the-essential-guide-to-understanding-poverty-in-the-uk

I live in a nice area. It’s not massively wealthy. No one seems to be dealing cocaine or fraudulent. Everyone seems pretty law abiding judging by the neighbourhood watch. No one with drug dealers as parents in the local schools. Lots who work in health service/education/local government though.

UK Poverty 2025: The essential guide to understanding poverty in the UK

This report sets out the nature of poverty in the UK in the run-up to 2024's General Election. It also sets out the scale of action necessary for the Government to deliver the change it has promised.

https://www.jrf.org.uk/uk-poverty-2025-the-essential-guide-to-understanding-poverty-in-the-uk

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:29

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 20:24

The majority of England don’t live in deprived areas.

https://www.jrf.org.uk/uk-poverty-2025-the-essential-guide-to-understanding-poverty-in-the-uk

I live in a nice area. It’s not massively wealthy. No one seems to be dealing cocaine or fraudulent. Everyone seems pretty law abiding judging by the neighbourhood watch. No one with drug dealers as parents in the local schools. Lots who work in health service/education/local government though.

More than half of the population experience at least one area of deprivation.

mathanxiety · 23/09/2025 20:32

Where exactly do you live, OP?

mathanxiety · 23/09/2025 20:33

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:29

More than half of the population experience at least one area of deprivation.

What do you mean by "experience "?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 20:34

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:29

More than half of the population experience at least one area of deprivation.

Where is this information?

Experiencing one area of poverty doesn’t mean you live in a deprived area.

Chaosclassic · 23/09/2025 20:36

Well your including drugs and not correcting billing mistakes in this so yes most people are criminals by your standards.

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:40

They experience one area of deprivation, not poverty. There are many rich people now with very limited formal education. There are also many rich people who have been educated far outside their intellect.

https://ocsi.uk/2022/11/03/what-has-census-2021-revealed-about-levels-of-household-deprivation/

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 20:51

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:40

They experience one area of deprivation, not poverty. There are many rich people now with very limited formal education. There are also many rich people who have been educated far outside their intellect.

https://ocsi.uk/2022/11/03/what-has-census-2021-revealed-about-levels-of-household-deprivation/

So our household fits into 2 of those.

We live in a educated middle class area. I’m definitely not deprived in any way. I’m not sure that measure is a proper measure of deprived areas.

My ndn fit into two also. Now they are loaded, very highly educated. I’m not sure they are deprived.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 20:53

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 20:40

They experience one area of deprivation, not poverty. There are many rich people now with very limited formal education. There are also many rich people who have been educated far outside their intellect.

https://ocsi.uk/2022/11/03/what-has-census-2021-revealed-about-levels-of-household-deprivation/

Its a bit damming saying people have been educated far outside their intellect? Who decided this? People can choose to educated as much as they want. Surely intellect grows with more education?

TheSpiritofDarkandLonelyWater · 23/09/2025 21:04

Deliciouslyfree · 23/09/2025 15:36

. Now I have to have an appropriate adult with me if I end up in a police station

so yes, it sounds like your caution was indeed for something serious hence it having to be indefinitely disclosed

No I am entitled to an appropriate adult as I am classed as vulnerable.

MellowMint · 23/09/2025 21:30

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 19:38

Most of the country lives in areas that are deprived. Youre saying this like it is an insult that someone living in a deprived area should feel ashamed of. Reality is that many of the rich people living in nice areas do so because they have been and still are doing something illegal. Might be tax evasion, might be cocaine dealing, might be fraud. And those who do not? They use their legally earned money to buy drugs, use sex workers, and frequent places which exist to launder money.

Your ignorance is just that, ignorant.

???

You can’t be serious. Living in a nice area does not mean someone got there by doing something illegal. To imply otherwise is an insult to every person who’s worked hard and built their success honestly. Yes - if someone truly wants to better themselves, they should absolutely stay away from criminals and drug dealers instead of making excuses for them, saying that most country is deprived…

Your response tells me exactly what type of person you are. Don’t bother responding to this.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 21:41

MellowMint · 23/09/2025 21:30

???

You can’t be serious. Living in a nice area does not mean someone got there by doing something illegal. To imply otherwise is an insult to every person who’s worked hard and built their success honestly. Yes - if someone truly wants to better themselves, they should absolutely stay away from criminals and drug dealers instead of making excuses for them, saying that most country is deprived…

Your response tells me exactly what type of person you are. Don’t bother responding to this.

I know. Weird right?

According to that poster ‘people can be educated beyond their intellect’Hmm

Doesn’t education increase intellect?

LoftyRobin · 23/09/2025 22:54

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/09/2025 20:51

So our household fits into 2 of those.

We live in a educated middle class area. I’m definitely not deprived in any way. I’m not sure that measure is a proper measure of deprived areas.

My ndn fit into two also. Now they are loaded, very highly educated. I’m not sure they are deprived.

The greatest trick the devil played was convincing the people he didn't exist. Something like that, anyway.