Random drunk stuck his head through my open living room window and scared me senseless

[Bobiverse]

I know I’m not being unreasonable but just need to say this somewhere as I’m a bit speechless. I live on a road either just a few houses and a golf club. No pavement on the road and it’s a bendy country road so very rare we get people walking it, but it is just a few hundred meters before you get to the pavement and streets heading into the little town.

I’m up late working and there’s obviously some event on at the golf club that must have ended around 1am as I heard drunk people walking up to the town, happens every so often after an event at the club. It’s warm here so I’ve got the living room window open, and I was writing so looking down when I heard laughing outside and a noise, which was my window being pulled further open. I looked up as a man put his head through the window whilst making stupid laddy drunk noises and a gurning face. I did actually scream and jumped up. It all happened in seconds and I actually went towards the window, where there is a table by the window and it had some kid’s toys on it so I grabbed one of the plastic chuck and swung for the guy as he ducked his head back outside. I saw a him run back to a few other lads and they then ran off up the road.

It was obviously a “prank” by some drunk idiots but it’s really shaken me. I think I’ll be popping down to the golf club in the morning to have a word and see if I can find out whose party it was but it’s not like anything will come of it even if I can track down whoever had the invite list.

I’m just shaken and quite angry about it, not really sure what else to say.

Lucky it is the UK, in some other countries he would likely have had a face full of lead and now be dead! And legally it would have been justified in some of those countries as well

I see no reason to just accept this sort of behavior “just happens’ personally. I’d write to complain to the club.

Those saying it’s not their responsibility aren’t entirely correct. They must not continue to serve alcohol to people who are already very drunk. It’s irresponsible and could affect their license. Assuming this man was served alcohol until he was so paralytic he was unable to control himself, to the extent he’s climbing into your house, then your complaint to the club committee should be taken very seriously.

Id also report to police on non emergency number. It isn’t normal to try and enter someone’s house after a few beers. I bet this bloke has form for anti social behavior.

I’m astounded with the posters on here who consider his behaviour funny or just a prank. Or question why the OP had her window open in the first place.

A person, male or female, has every right to feel safe in their own home. To have an unknown person pull open your window from the outside and look in your home is scary. But following on from the description from @Bobiverseit was more than that. He was actually pulling himself up and leaning in through the window. In the middle of the night in a secluded area. Damn right that is effing scary.

So what if he had been at the golf club boozing it up. It’s still trespassing and possibly more.

The golf club is not responsible for this man’s behaviour. Nor the drink or the mates. He is solely responsible for what he did.

I stick by what I posted earlier, I would be contacting the police. In fact, from the description given, I would have called the police last night. He may well have been drunk but no one knows what his intentions were. And I would be happy if the police asked him that question.

Absolutely. No doubt some on this thread would say that if the OP was wearing anything other than head to toe winceyette pyjamas then she basically brought this on herself.

Licensed bars are not supposed to send rowdy drunks into the street.

"The DPS must ensure that the business is run in accordance with the conditions of the premises licence and that the licensing objectives are properly promoted. These objectives include the prevention of crime and disorder, public safety, the prevention of public nuisance and the protection of children from harm."

If an official complaint is made to the police, they are able to object to the renewal of the licence. If nobody ever complains, they probably won't.

At the least it is a serious reminder to the DPS. The licensing officer at the local council may also express an opinion.

(DPS is roughly what we used to call a licensee)

Had a chat down at the club. Turns out it was staff. Some of the staff stayed back late to have some drinks after closing and that’s why they were walking along so late. They’ve said it’s sounds like one of the newer ones from my description of the coat he was wearing, which was about all I could see, and his rough facial description. Guaranteed that the longer serving staff who were with him but hadn’t actually entered my garden or come all the way down to my window would know that I’m a single parent, as they know us, we eat there often. I just didn’t see them as they all ran off.

Anyway, the club know which staff were on lasts night so discussions will be had. I don’t think the new guy will keep his job.

I think you are very forgiving.
I would be reporting this to the police, even more so as he has likely been identified.
His behaviour was completely unacceptable IMO.

That sounds like a satisfying update @Bobiverse

I have not read the whole thread but some arsehole tried to break into my house when I was in.

The house looked deserted with no lights on and the windows open. it was summer. My little boy was asleep upstairs and my partner and his female cousin who had been a police officer were in the back room.

Partner gave chase but cousin called him back and rang the police. She was concerned about what would have happened if he had caught the fucker.

Why I am posting is I was really physically ill for weeks after. They were really into sports science. I am not a scientist but their explanation was something to do with adrenaline actually poisoning us so really try now to come to terms with what that arsehole did. Try not to do the ‘What ifs…’

I fucking hate stupid arseholes who make strangers the butt of their pranks.

Good update op. He'll think twice now before acting like a dickhead. Well done the club for taking it seriously.

Well done. There is something really not right about how that person behaved. I’m really glad you went and spoke to the club and I’m really glad the club took it seriously.
I do agree about considered making a police report. It’s possible the police won’t do anything significant, but you’d like to think that it will give this jerk considerable pause for the future.

Good update OP. I’d follow up to see what they have to say.
Depending on the outcome and whether the club deal with it properly, you could also call the police and let them know what happened and that the club have identified exactly who it was.

Fucking hell- staff?!
Then definitely police 101 because that guy sounds unhinged. He specifically needs a visit from police. Hadn’t read your update about hoisting himself halfway in when I posted before. That’s terrifying.
Also make written complaint to the licensing body for the club with whoever owns the club copied into that that their staff are behaving like this. Doesn’t matter if he was one bad apple- the rest of them were there then laughed and ran off. No better and a dangerous working culture in which men think it’s a laugh to get pissed and climb into the house of a single woman who’s kids are asleep upstairs. WTF. I’m really sorry this was done to you.

Yes, this is a good point. Your criticisms are justified.

I imagine the drunk himself thought of it as funny (he was drunk). Drunk blokes don't tend to see nuances like "This woman's going to be scared by a stranger sticking his face in her space, she won't get my joke". That doesn't make him right; it makes him drunk - mentally incapacitated.

One of the common reactions to a threat that turns out not to be a threat is laughter, and I think I might have laughed. We each react differently to things, it's obviously reasonable to simply be angry or even to stay scared.

eta: Missed your update, OP. Well done.

Not upstairs, I live in a bungalow. So they were just down the hall a little. Which makes it feel worse somehow; so much less separation from someone coming in like that.

It’s just such a quiet, safe town. Sitting in a room with the window open, on a road hardly anyone ever walks along, has never felt unsafe.

I’ve already said it near the start. But I do think police.
There’s evidence that men people who do things like flashing escalate their crimes.
This guy clearly thinks that’s an ok way to behave, what’s he going to do next time (to you or someone else)?
His fingerprints will be all over your window…

@Bobiverse having read your update, definitely report it to the police. I don’t mean to worry you more, but if he loses his job he might want some kind of revenge, even if that’s just scaring you again. If the police have already had a word then that’s far less likely.

You're making things up now. I didn't say she was in the wrong. I was simply trying to understand the facts given. I'm in the relatively warm South, and I certainly wouldn't be working with a window open at 1 a.m.

I could be outside in my garden having a nap at 1am and no man has the right to come onto my property, touch me, assault me, go into my house… anything at all. If he did, it would be 100% his fault, not mine.

Why, when a man has acted inappropriately, was your main query “well, why were you doing that anyway.”

I’m sure you’re one of the, “well, why were you wear a short skirt?” types. It’s the same thing. When a man does something he shouldn’t do, it has absolutely nothing to do with what the person they targeted was doing. Can you understand that?

It doesn’t matter that you won’t have your window open - the OP did. There could have been snow on the ground and all her windows open - it doesn’t justify someone going onto the OP’s property and peering in/ leaning in/ whatever they were doing on her property at night where they had no right to be.

Report to police!! They can get his fingerprints off the window. What if he decides to come back and have a go at you for losing his job? Or thinks the initial scare wasn’t enough? Men like this who go to this extent aren’t ones to just let off with a warning

MN reading comprehension standards fail again. I didn't say it justified anything. I was just a bit surprised by the contradictory dripfeed which, combined with this issue, made me wonder about what happened.

That's so scary op! You shouldn't have to do this of course but I have window restrictors on my windows, they're really easy to install and work really well, it may be worth considering them so this doesn't happen to you again? (Absolutely not blaming you for having the window open btw! We should be able to do that without wondering about if a drunken idiot or worse decides to climb in the window.. )

Horrible. He deserves some kind of punishment - a massive fine or something. God I hate alcohol. It turns people into such obnoxious arseholes. One of the best changes I have witnessed is the decline in drinking among the young. Back in the ‘90s, my local town was a no-go zone at weekends. You’d see boys fighting and girls urinating in the street. It was disgusting. I remember going into town with a group of Americans one Saturday night and feeling so ashamed.

As a single mum with 2 vulnerable DC that would've really shaken me up as well @Bobiverse I'm glad you've spoken to the golf club and I'm glad it was staff so they can easily identify through description, witnesses, questions etc exactly who it was. I hope the man in question woke up feeling thoroughly ashamed of his behaviour in the cold light of day and he gets the consequences he deserves.
You absolutely did not overreact or under react, you reacted to the threat in front of you with only a split second to decide what action to take. I'd like to think I too would have swung for him but thankfully I've never been put in the position to know for sure whether I would freeze or fight.
You absolutely did not overreact by following this up with the golf club and whilst I would consider contacting the police if the golf club doesn't resolve this and make amends sharpish I respect that's your decision to make, honestly I'd consider contacting the police regardless but then I have that little voice in my head saying 'don't ruin the poor wee boys life with a criminal record over a stupid prank' it's being drowned out by the voice screaming 'what about the fact I no longer feel safe to open a fucking window when ever I want in my own house and will I now be obsessively checking they are all closed everytime there is an event on up the golf club'
I'm really sorry this happened to you and I hope the fucking drunken twat AND the golf club who have benefited from your repeat custom and grace to hold these events, makes this as right as they can as quickly as they can and that you don't suffer any lasting anxiety about being able to just live how you want to in your own home