AIBU to not want to decide what’s for sodding dinner?

[MellowPinkDeer]

By far, the worst bit of being an adult is decided what’s for dinner. Ask the kids ‘ I don’t mind’ when they do, because they are pretty fussy. Ask DH he ‘isn’t bothered’ but of course SOMEONE has to be bothered or no one is eating anything??

I’m so over being the only person who has to think about this daily nonsense - are these responses from others just purely laziness?

AIBU to just serve up toast every night?!

Oh boy, don't I sympathise. I used to love cooking, now I HATE it, with a passion. I tried leaving it, but then it got to 6pm, everything was in the freezer and nothing ready to fill the 3 grumbling stomachs. I tried getting help in the kitchen even once a week. Nope. Something else always "came up". If I am in the house, I am expected to plan, shop for, prepare, cook and serve. It is driving me insane. When the kids leave home, I will live on jacket potatoes, egg on toast and ping meals - the husband can look after himself. For now, I have a whiteboard on the fridge listing who is where when that week, and a list of 30-40 different dishes on the back. Every week I sit down, dictate what we are all having, and put a shopping order in. No one ever fancies the meals, but it is a balanced diet, and quite frankly, that's about all that's left in me to care about 😡

This is the reason why me and the kids are at McDonald's tonight!

Make yourself a menu for two weeks at least then the decision is made and a variety is ensured. Helps greatly with shopping too. Honestly its a game changer.

I make what I want to make. Will listen to wishes and desires. If not agreed on a certain dish in advance, it'll be me and only me who decides - I'm also the only one shopping&cooking. Don't like it? Make yourself a sandwich.

Hate it. I have a vegetarian partner who is also Indian so loves his veggie curries, but my teenager and our toddler twins don’t. So I end up cooking 2 meals every night and it’s exhausting trying to figure it out and do it.

Been doing it for 37 years and bored as hell. Used to love cooking - now it’s a chore. Moving soon and just designed the kitchen so hope to get my mojo back. If it hear ‘ yeh whatever’ before a meal and ‘we’re not having that again’ after , the flipping pan will fly across the room

If children are old enough, teach them to cook and Friday is their charge.
No it shouldn’t be just yours to carry…

At home…I cook all day and Hubby cook the evening. I just don’t want to go in the kitchen after two other meal preps for kids 😂😂

Once we were old enough, the night before Mum went shopping, we (me, sister, Dad,) each had to write down 2 meals we'd like in the next week, and Mum just had to choose one. There were occasional variations if some vegetable was growing a glut in the garden. Also, we seemed to have lots of leftovers and always be finishing the freezer (see aforementioned garden gluts.)

I now live alone, and I get fed up thinking about what to eat, but if I choose not to bother, it's only me who is affected.

It's a responsibility to think up meals yes. Maybe tell the household you're doing a 2 week rota and ask for suggestions otherwise you'll decide for them, then just make a rota.

This is brilliant and I'm sure you could sell it..

Same here. I’ve just gone to bed early as I’m feeling sick after taking antibiotics. Have told partner what to make for dinner (easy stuffed pasta in fridge) Literally just has to chop a couple of tomatoes maybe an avocado if he’s feeling energetic. Silence downstairs. No sounds of anyone rustling up anything in the kitchen. It’s getting on for 8pm. Just waiting for my daughter to come and ask me if there’s any supper tonight…

I'm so fed up of it. It often comes down to what I can be bothered to cook. It's only me and adult DD and she eats whatever I put in front of her. If I ask, she'll say that she's not going to make demands about what I should cook. Very cosiderate but please just tell me!! I like it when adult DS visits. He lives abroad so there are British things he misses. I like it when he says, "Mum, I know it's a lot of work, but I'd really love a roast!" Cottage pie is his other favourite.

Recommended before but this website is great
his recipes just work, you can adjust the slider for quantities, there’s a cook button to stop the screen going dark and every recipe has a demo video
it got me back to cooking again. No weird ingredients either

https://www.dontgobaconmyheart.co.uk/

That's such a good idea. I'm going to try it for lunches. Dinner we use one of those box companies, which was also a revelation: just pick what looks like a good picture, no food waste at all.

If I ask my husband, he just says 'chicken'. My son is worse.

Honestly I was like that for years - I began to resent even feeding them - we now have Gusto - wow - I didn’t think I liked cooking - now I love it - everything delivered just pull it out the fridge and cook it - no more wondering what on earth to cook - quality is great and if u r cooking for 4 it works out very reasonable

from reading the majority of responses it sounds like most people are just randomly deciding on the day what they will eat on an evening. Isn’t the lack of advance meal planning the issue? I don’t understand how anyone can go for their weekly food shop and just put random items in their trolley, hoping it will make a meal. Also the extra cost and potential food waste in doing so.
we shop online with delivery on a Sunday so every Saturday we will have planned the meals for the week ahead with a rough plan for lunches (as we work from home a lot), packed lunches and dinners. We use a shared note on iPhone so it’s a rolling list of months of meal planning. We try to add new options in when we have time and interest, otherwise you can just copy and paste from the previous weeks options amending for who is it isn’t around. I’ll caveat that my kids are younger and we operate the “this is for tea tonight, if you don’t like it, don’t eat it” rule but always make sure there are some safe foods on the plate to fill them up. So there is less arguing. DP also will do the menu on a regular basis and cook so that shares a lot of the weight there.

It can be a challenge and it is annoying with conflicting tastes.
I got a part time job so twice a week can't be home to cook what a shame!
On one of those days it is DIY and the other. one of the grown up kids makes a meal. I get a third evening off as order a takeaway and fourth due to husband taking a turn. Therefore I cook just three days a week which is fine by me.

I now don’t tell my family as I was feed up after over 30 years with dh asking then kids asking. Is it that difficult for anyone apart from me to come up with ideas?? It works well and they eat everything I make now . I still have to come up with ideas for meals but know what are the popular meals. I can’t afford to eat ate money on food

You’re us! Exactly the same. Only difference is we take turns who does the Saturday shop, and I occasionally squeeze it in on Friday if I need to because of Saturday morning activities. On a side note Saturday mornings have just got more complicated as DS2 has changed football clubs. We won’t go back to online deliveries though as we stopped that for a reason.

The thing that makes all the difference is that DH sits down with the pen and paper and is proactive thinking of things. Doesn’t just leave it to me.

I enjoy it.

That's a good idea.

My local council also put their Meals on Wheels menus online. That might be worth looking at too.

https://www.wolverhampton.gov.uk/sites/default/files/2022-10/meals-on-wheels-main-menu-04-10-22.pdf

How old are the kids OP are they old enough to cook a meal each one day a week?

@WalkDontWalk

how??

I think this is the best thing about now being on my own - I have a lot of omelettes these days as I just can't be bothered to cook for just one person. It does mean that when one of my adult offspring do come home I really enjoy cooking for them!

I don’t know how to answer that. It’s like ‘how do you enjoy playing the piano?’ Or ‘how do you enjoy ironing?’

I mean, I hate ironing and I don’t. But I can’t see how anyone could explain to me how they do enjoy it. And some do, apparently.